the Madness of the Combat Medic

You paid HOW MUCH for that?

2012-03-03T12:00:00.000-06:00

Ok so I'm talking to this girl, and she's not the makeup type. But she has a hot date and she went out to get the "cute" clothes (as a male, I have no idea what this word means). Then she tells me she spent $80 just for the "basics" in her makeup. Good Lord. Please tell me this is a joke. No sadly it is not. One has only to compare the simple act of buying drawers to know that even the most minute parts of a woman's wardrobe is 2.-3 times more expensive than a man's. Take Underwear. Take tighty whiteys. Those are *generally* the same shape as your basic panties, yes I can buy a three pack of tighty whiteys for the same price a woman buys one pair of panties.

Now take shirts. A man *generally* will only wear one shirt at a time, with maybe a long-sleeve undershirt if its cold out. Go look at what women are wearing. Some of the "shirts" don't even try to fit the boobs in them. Requiring another shirt. Of course there might be a third layer thrown in just for looks. And let's not for get that at least one of these layers is see through. Seriously. There is almost never one shirt. How do they let people get away with that? Either Women have bought into the biggest extortion racket ever or someone whose designing this stuff has some crossed wires somewhere.

Of course perhaps the most humorous thing about this whole thing is that despite the fact that women all want to be unique they seem harder to differentiate. I'm not talking about that special someone, but, they all read the say novella length magazines telling them what to get how to wear it what colors say about what. Its like its own little language, and really its no wonder when guys don't notice you got 1/16th of an inch of hair cut off (at a whopping $30. Seriously they should have massaged your scalp for that much!) You've got a see through blue over-shit with a pink shawl, and a white undershirt. You expect me to know what the hell that means? Oh yes. That brings up another little rant. Pink. I get it you like it. But for the love of all that is holy does it literally have to be on everything?

You talk about "Sun Dress" and I'll give you a blank look. And giving me veiled hints about a "little black dress" will get you the same. News flash: I'M A GUY WHAT THE HELL DO I KNOW ABOUT DRESSES?!?!? You ask me which one I like and I'm probably going to einie meenie miney moe it. It is understandable that you may want to show me different looks and ask what I like. Personally I always say go with what makes you happy, please do not stress over what I think looks good. I'm a guy. You could wear a full arctic suit or nothing at all and I'd still think you look good. That's part of your charm.

Honestly I am happiest in a comfortable pair of blue jeans and boots with a t-shirt, or if I'm back home in Cali, Board shorts and flip flops. I wear what has function and comfort. I'll dress up, and I'll always impress when I do, because that's just something that is expected, but lets face facts here, there's pretty good reasons I don't wear suits and ties every day. Its because they're not exactly comfortable. So why does it seem every woman below the age of say 25 is trying to dress like they're either a). a model, or b). on their way to schmooze with models? Sometimes I just don't get the fairer sex.

So I have an idea that will save the economy overnight. Wanna hear it? Whoever makes guys clothing, make it for women. Simple efficient and comfortable. Most of all inexpensive. I mean we could solve the whole economic issue overnight if women weren't paying through the nose for "basic" cosmetics, clothes, or ahem fashion magazines. Now you don't have to agree with me. But man wouldn't your wallet (or your parent's) really appreciate that?

And now for something completely different

2012-03-03T01:38:00.003-06:00

Have you ever noticed that when you really need a bathroom, as in "oh my God I'm going to EXPLODE," there's never one around? I mean we all get the Hershey Squirts, or the Big Rigs from time to time. Usually when there is most need to drop trou and pop a squat, you're nowhere near a good place to do that. To be clear while you can almost always find a public bathroom it tends to dissuade one from wanting to drop a deuce when some genius decided to finger paint with his or her fecal matter.

It also tends to make you not want to Take the kids to the pool if the last person (or couple of people) didn't pass basic marksmanship class while being potty trained. Indeed sometimes it looks like it went everywhere but the bowl. And once you see something like that no amount of wax paper or to cleaning will make that seat seem "safe". I mean after all you don't want to get anal herpes from an emergency evacuation do you?

No we would all rather go to the safe bathrooms that don't give us numbers to call or have "glory holes". Truth be told we would all rather have our own dedicated toilet, that we could take around with us. Certain in the knowledge that your ass is the only one it's kissed. As humorous as that might be to imagine people carrying around their own dedicated toilets, thats really not practical.

Indeed we may have to suffer back splash and groddy bowls, and turds that seem to not want to flush, but remember this pain is shared by all. . . Until you run out of TP. Yes that Bastard Murphy and his stupid law has just struck you again. You somehow found a way to suck it up long enough to unclench, or barely made it in time before blast off. Either way Houston, we have a problem. No you don't have the key that might be required to get the other roll that is so helpfully just out of your reach, or blocked. What do you do? Wait? Hop over to another stall, go out and get someone? Anyway you descried to go it is officially a shitty situation.

This has actually happened to me once in an Airport bathroom. You can imagine sitting there realizing that I have NOTHING to wipe away the foulness. So if you could imagine there i sat with a real dilemma there for a moment.

"uh. Hello?" Silence.
"Is anyone out there?" someone washed their hands
"hello?" well this is working well.
"Excuse me could someone help me out here. . . "

Well I'll cut to the chase, I sat there for another five minuets, desperately trying to get someone's attention. Finally some guy answered (THANK GOD!!!) and he was actually kind enough to agree to get someone from maintenance. I guess there was some kind of a strike, or someone was having a phone call, or something, because I sat there for another thirty minuets. Thankfully it was a productive thirty minuets (guess I still had to go) or I might've been upset. Right about the point where I began to think "hey I better flush this pretty soon or I'm going to have a real problem here" I hear the maintenance man call out and ask if someone needed tp, I called out he passed it under, and I proceeded to wipe with steel wool. Hey I'm not complaining. I got to wipe after all!

All I can advise you is the next time you're on a road trip plan ahead. Fast food and long car rides will probably lead to explosive diarrhea, and trust me that's not how you want to take the Browns to the Superbowl when you still got another 500 miles to go. If you know a food makes you rush for the latrine, its probably a good idea not to eat it when you can't get to a "safe" bathroom sometime soon. Just remember when it comes to your bowls its good to plan ahead. It prevents Anus AIDS or Rectal fungus, or what ever the hell else might be growing on those public bathrooms from being anywhere near your rear.

How's that for Toilet Humor?

A Warrior('s) Ethos

2012-03-02T00:58:00.001-06:00

I saw Act of Valor again tonight. It kind of shocked me that the critics rated it so low (30%) Viewers gave it a much higher rating. Was some of the banter Canned? Yup. But you could see a genuine respect and admiration between the LT and his Chief. You can also see the compotency and professionalism of those involved. These are REAL US Navy SEALs. The Assaults are real. Trust me that the tactics are as real as it gets. Everything you see is 100% as real as you can get in a movie.

The scary part about this is not that it might be fiction, but that the plot over all was frighteningly close to things that might and worse have happened. Yes the SEALs win in the end, but the terrorist plot, and the methodology, even who the terrorists are, is frighteningly closed to reality. The Drug Cartels are that bad. The torture shown is used. Believe it or not these things are not a joke. That this is fictionalized should not even enter into one's mind, these plots are real. You are still in danger.

But one of the things that really crystallized in my mind, is that SEALs SWCCs, Special Forces (Green Berets), Rangers, 160th SOAR, TACPs, PJs and MARSOC are actually not special. Before you get angry, you need to realize the only thing that separates them from any other Soldier Sailor Airmen or Marine, is a mentality. That SEAL that you see on screen took the same oath of enlistment as I did. I fully admit I am not as hardcore as they are, but that doesn't stop a part of me from wanting to join them. Also, when you watch the movie you'll notice something, even when they're running for their lives, they are always moving toward something. They move with a purpose, and with confidence. The move swiftly, and never let up until their mission is completed.

I figured out after my second viewing why Hollywood doesn't like this movie. Its because they can not understand what a Warrior is. A Warrior is not some child flailing about, or a fool whining to the ether or anyone who will listen. A Warrior does not bemoan the whims of fate that make his mission suck. They all suck. You can either embrace the suck, or you can go home.

Some intellectual said "truth is the first casualty of war". But one can not lie to your superiors, subordinates, or oneself. In War, a lie will kill you quick, and will undo any good you achieved. If you lie about your abilities, either in boast or to put yourself down you will harm yourself and your unit. If you lie to your subordinates, you will break the sacred trust that is required to preform your mission. If you lie to your superiors, they will lose faith in you, and you will be worse than useless, you will be a liability. Worst of all however, is if you lie to yourself. If you psyche yourself up for a mission, and are filled with doubt, you will choke. You will freeze. When your teammates, or Battle Buddies need you most you will be unable to do the mission. If you are not certain your mission is worthy of your absolute level best then you should never have been there in the first place.

Perhaps this statement is true if you referring to how you are dealing with your enemy. No Soldier ever fights fair. They'll take every advantage they can get, and exploit every weakness they can find. If you have an unfair advantage, if your enemy isn't prepared for the world of hurt you're about to bring down upon them good. After they surrender you can show mercy, but until they quit the fight, you will act with speed and violence of action. That is what the mission requires. That is what you do.

A Warrior offers no excuses and accepts none. There are no "bad days". You'll be tired, hungry, sore, and lonely. Suck it up and Drive On! This is a Code. And Ethos that many have tried to capture. The Army's Warrior Ethos, is simply a chopped up Ranger Creed, and while it is stirring, it is meant for those troopers who do hold qualms about the mission. The SEAL Creed, The Rifleman's Creed, The Medic's Creed, the NCO or Officer's Creed, all are pretty long winded and try to capture the same thing. The true Warrior Ethos. There's one problem. Warriors are not Men of Words, but of Action. People in our society are drifting father and farther from this ideal, and giving more power to what is said than what is done.

If you are a Warrior, you must live your life as a Man (or Woman) of Action. You must be True to yourself and your comrades. You must give your all, always. You must never accept defeat, or show Fear to your enemy, rather you should inspire Fear in them, and make them accept defeat. Never give in to Doubt. What will be will be, the only thing you can do is fight like hell. If you are a Warrior my words will ring true. If you are not, my single-mindedness of purpose when it comes to War will make you uneasy or afraid. When it comes right down to it, you're either a Warrior, or you are not. There is no in between.

Charlie Mike Warriors!

An In Depth Investigation.

2012-03-01T15:12:00.002-06:00

One of the charges I have heard in response to the 12 July incident was that it was not investigated, or that the investigations were a whitewash. That there was a coverup or the investigators did not do due diligence. That is simply not the case. Thanks to Outlaw 1-3, I have two of the 15-6 investigations conducted involving the incident. Both paint the same picture. Both make it clear that when Noor-Eldeen leaned out he presented a clear and imminent threat form the facts the pilots had in the air. They saw men with RPGs and they saw a guy peeking around a corner in a perfect firing position, thus they were very anxious to engage as soon as they could. As I have stated again and again, there were no Press vests, or distinctive markings, and having a telephoto lens does not exclude you from being a target. Why? Because pretty much all militias by that point were filming their attacks.

To be clear, had Noor-Eldeen and his driver been alone, they would probably still be alive. Had he not leaned out around the corner, the Apache might've waited to fire. Had Noor-Eldeen not been so close to the insurgents, he probably would still be alive. Again and again I have hammered these points. Again and again I get this "but he was a journalist" or "they shouldn't have. . . " I am tired of people saying things they can not know. Assange was almost gleeful about giving the US a black eye. He's profited from this enormously, all the while doing his level best to cause as much harm as he can. So why he is still treated like a saint is beyond me.

What is abundantly clear from the 15-6 (referring to the regulation that covers this type of investigation) from both 1st Air Cav Brigade, and 2nd Brigade 2nd Infantry Division, is that they questioned everyone that played a major role. They did not question Ryan Searls in the 2-2 investigation, they questioned me, but it was to ascertain treatment protocols and to see if any stone is left unturned. Searles, would not doubt have been questioned as well, but it is my belief that the investigating officer at that point was satisfied we did our medical duty. Had Ethan McCord played a critical role, or had he seen something that was vitally important to the investigation, some evidence that he as a non-NCO, and non-Officer, and really only a minor player in, he would have been grilled. Had any evidence been found of actual War Crimes as defined by the Geneva Conventions you can bet the investigating authority would have been a LOT higher.

As I have stated time and again, the Van was engaged because, for the time and place, it seemed like a threat. This may seem strange to you, but you have to realize that Ambulances were being used as VBIEDs (Vehicle Borne Improvised Explosive Devises) Mosques were being used as torture houses and weapons Cashes. To say the threats were fluid is a bit of an understatement. Even kids coming up and asking for candy was (at one point) and extreme threat, because fathers would strap bombs to their kids (especially the retarded ones) and blow them up when they got near soldiers.

At the time it looked like they came as if summoned, and it looked as if they were removing evidence, or something along those lines. They very well could have been doing just that. We will never know, and the children have (thankfully) been left alone. I think the last thing they need is to be pestered endlessly by Reporters or activists trying to get a scoop about wonton violence of the American Soldier, but I have no doubt that if this becomes enough of an issue some yahoo without scrupuls will track them down, force them to relive their story (tears and all), and then gleefully do a victory lap.

I find no joy in this whole affair, there is nothing here that proves that US troops were anything but professionals under a lot of stress doing the best damn job they can. Keep in mind that in WWII, despite claims that the Nordon Bomb-sight could drop bombs "right in the pickle barrel" in reality the accuracy was on the best days about 35%, but more often it was much lower. The reason the bomber formations were so massive is that they required mass, an overall weight of bombs to accomplish their task. Had this engagement happened say in 1944, you might be talking about a whole neighborhood disappearing, and in light of the threats of 1944, that would have been perfectly acceptable.

The God-like view offered by the AH-64-D, gives a lot of people the idea that they can realistically put themselves in that seat and make the "right" decision. This of course is absent the stress, and fear (for one's comrades on the ground) that would have been present. Play Call of Duty again some time. See if you can spot any civilians in the levels where you play as the AC-130. I would be willing to bet two things 1). either they're not in the game at all or 2). even if they were you couldn't pick them out, without someone pointing it out to you. Here's a thought try watching the video one time. Watch it real time. Bare in mind all the facts I've just laid out, and while your at it see if a friend has an Epi-pen, shoot yourself up with that wait 30 mins then watch it. Chances are by that point you're feeling generally the same level of adrenalin the pilots that day were. See if in that mindset you would make the same call.

I would be willing to bet, and I'd bet my beautiful Stang on this, that if half the people who call this a "war crime" were placed on the ground with that level of threat, they'd not only call for fire, but demand disproportionate amounts of fire. The investigations if anything show how restrained the troops were. When the Apaches saw Noor-Eldeen poking around the corner, they COULD HAVE ENGAGED RIGHT THEN. They certainly felt the threat was extreme. They waited to get a clear shot. This is not the act of brutal thugs. Keep in mind they could have killed Noor-Eldeen about three times before they got permission to fire. Given the time, given the circumstances, I believe that the Soldiers on the Ground and in the Air did their duty to the best of their ability. They did it in a professional manner, and I still can not fault Crazyhorse 1-8 or 1-9 for what they did that day.

An Open Response to a Load of Dung.

2012-02-29T09:14:00.003-06:00

Before I start my Open letter in Response you need to know its a response to this article. I'm not going to go through it bit by bit and I'm not going to quote it. I'm a college student and I really don't have time for that kind of nonsense.

So here's my response (because as you'll see they disabled commenting)

Dear Sir/Ma'am,

I am this "Doc" Bailey you spoke of in your article. Before I even start my reply I need you to understand one thing. Doc is a title. It is earned by field Medics and Corpsmen, bestowed to them by the Infantry they serve. It is not "given" out or even official. It is a sign of respect from one professional to another. That you didn't bother to actually get my first name suggests either you didn't do your home work, or you're just trying to get screen grabs.

I should also note that I did not start the ball rolling on this whole thing. It was actually another soldier who was far angrier about the film than I am, who started the group "2-16 Vets against Liars (ie Ethan McCord)". That group was closed by facebook moderators. I started the second group 2-16 (and 4th IBCT) Vets for Truth. Why? because McCord is one guy, and as a sole voice doesn't even come close to representing the rest of the Company that was on the ground, or the pilots who were in the air.

As an aside the Pilots of Crazyhorse 1-8 and 1-9 have refused to come forward and name themselves for fear of retribution. This is not widely known, but imagine if they did. I doubt very highly that wishing that a car mysteriously hit them, or that they could be punched in the face would be the least of their worries. I believe that some idiot DA would use the MEJA, to try to prosecute them, and there might be someone that actually hits them with a car. All in the name of "peace" or avenging perceived war crimes of course. You don't have to take my word for it. The anti-war movement tends to be quite militant in its views.

I would also like to point out to you that thus far I have seen no evidence of "death threats", and even the wishing of doing potential bodily harm is not in itself a crime. People said all the time that they wish someone would punch Bush, or assassinate him (even made a movie about it). This was considered "free speech" back then. What has changed? To be clear saying "I want to punch McCord in the ovaries" while humorous, is not an actual threat against his life, also if you study trends, while death threats (real ones) are scary, they almost never precede actual violence. Why? Because unless someone is an idiot, to threaten actual physical bodily harm then to carry out said harm means one literally can't get away with it. They pointed the finger at themselves.

I also take issue with the hysterics displayed by Ethan. Stating you're going out to buy a pistol because your feel afraid for your life is a bit of a joke. Yes there are people who truly fear for their lives that go and buy pistols all the time. But McCord talks about "protecting his family". At what time was his family ever brought into this? I have yet to see any evidence that any of the 2-16 Veterans of the "Surge" would ever intentionally harm women and children. Likewise when you look at the things that former infantrymen might do, sure they could kill him. Most of them could hit a target at 300 meters with no difficulty. Some of them can hit targets as far as 800 meters away. They are fully versed in tactics that, should they have friends assist, McCord wouldn't have a chance in the world of defeating. These are tactical realities. Is that scary? Sure if you forget one thing, these men are professionals. They will only kill their enemy. Despite the perception that Ethan Stabbed them in the back, he is not their enemy. Sure he's an asshole, but not an enemy.

Indeed while these men can kill Ethan, and all sorts of ways that I'm sure has you biting your nails, they won't. They would rather face him, man to man and "have it out". They want to hear from him, to their face why he betrayed them, then they would "go out back" and settle it. Sure they'll give him a lot of bruises. They wouldn't leave him near death, they wouldn't use weapons, or beat him to an inch of his life. That's not how infantrymen settle things. They will challenge Ethan to a fight. They will fight till there's a clear victor. One or the other can "tap out", or they can pass out. This might seem brutish or barbaric to you, but it actually works far better than most of the alternatives that you see. Even if Ethan wins, he will be made to understand just how strongly the issue is for these men. If he loses, well, in the end what they really want is for him to admit he was wrong.

Lastly I want to speak of PTSD. I do not know if it is a joke to you. I do not know if you think this is a funny little game where you can turn us all into little psychos, that are really just victims crying out for attention, but even the mention of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in your article was way, way, WAY off base. I know that it's the new buzz word like ADD was in the 90's (believe me i have first hand experience on that one) but its clear that both you and your viewers have no idea what the symptoms, causes, and reasons behind PTSD are. Believe it or not people suffering from PTSD are the exact opposite of Rambo. They won't freak out and go on a rampage destroying a small Washington town in the process. If anything they are withdrawn, and their feelings of being so far apart are what cause so many of them to self medicate. They do not act out in the way characterized in your article. Take it from this (former) military health professional.

I take issue with the responses to your article. I take issue with the article and the presumptions in it. I take issue with how you present me. It is clear that your Bias has lead you to make false assumptions and to hype non-issues. I doubt highly that anyone actually threatened McCord's life, and I doubt McCord's life is in any danger, unless he forgot basic firearm safety and has a Negligent Discharge while cleaning (or playing) with his shiny new gun. That actually is far more believable that the idea that there is someone stalking him waiting for a moment to take out both him, and for good measure, his family. You really need to check yourself. Saying stupid stuff like that is kind of why no one trusts "journalists" anymore.

Sincerely,
"Doc" Bailey

PS please be sure to tell Ethan to get all appropriate licenses. It really would be a shame if he was pulled over and didn't have a CCW.

The Problems, and Benefits of Blogs

2012-02-28T11:58:00.001-06:00

As you read this, you are (fairly) anonymous. You might feel free to comment and tell me just how right or wrong I got things. Chances are I won't have a clue who the hell you are, and so you can feel free to call me a genius (exceptionally rare) or a first class retarded asshat (admittedly more common). For my own part I can come on here and spout just about anything, say that flogging cats against trees under a full moon will prevent warts (thanks crazy cat lady), or I could come on here bring up serious topics for debate, that I feel should be talked about, say the current unsustainablility of our public spending plans.

Regardless of what I say this illustrated a couple of the major advantages, and conversely the drawbacks of Blogs, Forums, and the Internet in general. While the pseudo-anonymity (trust me if they want to find out who you are, they can) gives you a level of protection it also strips a level of civility from every debate. You can literally say anything and no one will be any bit the wiser. If you're a gossip in "real" life word WILL get back to those your gossiping about. Just go read the Democratic Underground sometime. People go on there and say all sorts of things that I doubt highly they'd say (assuming they are in somewhat respectable society).

This anonymity, once stripped away opens a flood gate for all sorts of abuse. I'm a nobody now. I mean literally no one knows who the hell I am. Google my name you'll see an obituary (my fathers) a professor of something, hell I don't think I've ever seen anything online that points directly to me. But imagine I weren't a nobody that nobody cares about? Say I posted my address, then spouted on an issue, say "the post-racial" America is more racist than ever (or at least incredibly sensitive about non-issues). How long do you think before my mailbox (the actual Snail Mailbox) would be full of letters telling me I'm an ignorant boob, or calling me all sorts of things. It would probably be even worse because I like to challenge people's perceptions ("challenge your perceptions or they will challenge you").

Another problem also clearly illustrated is "how the hell do I separate the Wheat from the Chaff?" That there is one of the biggest and most disturbing questions about the Internet as a whole. To be certain people will always cluster around people that think (generally) like them. It raises some very difficult questions. To be clear no one is going behind to clean up or delete old material. Once it's out there it's out there forever. How do I find something recent on a topic? You may be stuck going through pages and pages of BS to find one stink nugget that doesn't smell as bad as half the stuff you just read. There in lies the problem. There is literally SO MUCH OUT THERE that you could spend several lifetimes reading the material published in say the last 30 days. So you have to cluster on Blogs or Forums that think like you. The lone voice out there, will be lost like a drop of water in the sea.

The clustering presents yet another problem. When everyone agrees with you, you start to think your shit don't stink, as they say here in Dub V. I mean I personally get very worried when everyone agrees with what I say. I am always watching out for intellectual arrogance, but what happens when an individual, blogger or commenter, does not have my rather ruthless sense of introspection? I write assuming everything I write is horse manure, and I am pleasantly surprised (and slightly suspicious) when said writings are praised. I do this partially from my self confidence issues from childhood, but in a larger perspective the second you start to believe your infallible, you're setting yourself up for the worst kind of failure. You go surf these blogs and you'll notice one thing, very few have actual debates. You'll have people who *generally* agree with you, and people that think you're a baby Hitler/Stalin (depending on your political leanings). Indeed the Troll problem is so bad that these antics have become legendary, and also tend to (spectacularily) back fire.

It is my ascertain that in the end you can not have a "discussion" on the Internet. Do attempt to do so is a losing proposition. One has only to watch the Huffington Post and what happens to their detractors comments (they and the threads they start get deleted) to know that you're unbelievably lucky to actually have any form of debate. Rather one must come on here (or really any forum or Blog) and speak in an "open letter" to the ether in the hopes that it gets noticed. I doubt I'll get the notoriety others like John Lilyea or Blackfive, or RightChange get. Even so I'll keep doing what I'm doing because really the alternative is to be silent. Boys with ADD are not good with silent

Getting Things Right.

2012-02-27T14:20:00.002-06:00

I have delayed for a long time writing about this. I like to keep my blog off topics that are current, the reason is that I don't like getting dragged into debates that are going to turn into petty and really pointless mud slinging fights. The events surrounding 12 July 2007, are just one of those fights. One only needs to see the name of the gunship footage Wikileaks gave. "Collateral Murder" indeed. It pissed me off then, and it pisses me off now that so many people buy into this meme of American Service Members as thuggish brutes that love to slaughter innocents.

So I have a dog in this fight. Sue me. I also absolutely despise groups like IVAW, and World Can't Wait. Not because they're anti-war. To be honest I don't know anyone whose been to war and is pro-war. I despise them because they tell half-truths or outright lies to tug at the heart strings of people who are not in the know. Seeing as there are only 1.5 Million Iraq and Afghanistan veterans in America (which is a little less than half a percent of the total US population) every time a jumped up yahoo pops up and talks about how "wrong" the war was or "360 degree fire" or "free fire zones" they're taking things that the public has no possible frame of referance for, so far out of context that the truth isn't just bent, its shattered.

"Truth is the first casualty of war" they say. Shouldn't it bother them that they are so willing to lie then? For my part my only interest is the truth. Washington Post writer David Finkle called us "The Good Soldiers". It is my firm belief that 2nd Battalion 16th Infantry Regiment were the very best of soldiers. Sliced off from our parent brigade (4th IBCT 1st ID) which itself had been treated like a red headed step child (light units in Mech Divisions don't mix) which had a pretty rough deployment themselves (2-32 FA commander lost both legs, 1-28 got hit pretty hard and Quarter Cav wasn't faring much better). We were given a sector of "New" Baghdad that had never had US or Coalition troops in it since the beginning of the war. The mission was simply put, get in their faces. Put as much pressure as we could on the militia, give the IA time to train up, and get confidance.

In one way this was very much like Vietnam, and the "Vietnamazation" program Nixon had started, but unlike Vietnam, there would be no raids into foreign countries to stop the flow of weapons, and there would be no large force on force battles. This was the fight that Gen Abrams had to fight, and this time we had all the tools he wished he had. Imagine what a flight of AH-64-D's might have done in Vietnam. Their command of the battlefield is such that they can pick out things like AK-47s from almost a half mile away. We had a ton of shitty missions. We executed like professionals.

Now the war is over and in a lot of ways we're still fighting it. It is my accretion that despite what may leaders of this very government said publicly or otherwise, we won. We won through the blood sweat and tears of the troops on the ground, that refused to give up. I am proud to have been a part of that history, to have been counted among their number.

As for July 12th 2007. There are a lot of issues present. So I'm going to take them one by one.

1). First of all, it doesn't matter if Noor-Eldeen, and Chmagh, were legitimate Press. There was nothing identifiable that they were at the time of the incident. They were not wearing distinctive vests, or have any kind of markings that could be clearly seen. That they were carrying cameras with telephoto lenses does not in itself give the Apaches reason to pause. JAM, and really nearly all militias would include their own press photographers, and more than once these individuals have been killed in the course of legitimate operations. Their overall familiarity with the insurgents shown and the close proximity, makes them a legitimate target.

2). Noor-Eldeen leaning around a corner to get pictures may not in and of itself represent a hostile act, but the fact that he was in a perfect firing position (as his pictures show) to destroy a HMMWV makes it clear that he was a threat. I know a lot of civilians can not wrap their minds around this one but if that had been the RPG tube (which its only really able to be seen after the fact with much enhancement) he could have had a catastrophic kill on that vehicle.

3). Noor-Eldeen's position was already receiving fire in the form of 40 MM grenades from an M-203. A number of soldiers were occupying rooftops while on Obj Silver and the only reason he was still alive when the Apaches fired is that these grenades detonated on the myriad of wires that constitute the Power System in Baghdad at the time. had the Apache not killed him, he would have died anyway when the Infantry assaulted through.

4). the Van that came on scene came a little too quickly, and to many observers that day seemed to come as if summoned. Two military aged males jumped out and started loading bodies. When Crazyhorse asked permission to fire again, they were questioned by the acting 1SG of Bravo Company, if they were loading Bodies or Bodies and Weapons. From their position the Apaches confirmed bodies and weapons. To be very clear, had it just been bodies the Bushmaster elements WOULD HAVE DENIED PERMISSION TO ENGAGE. The second one of those males picked up a weapon and put it in the van (not seen in the video) they became a legitimate target IAW to the standing ROE at the time.

5). Had Crazyhorse not engaged, then the eventual Infantry Assault would have undoubtedly caused secondary casualties. Even the best, most well trained troops can not prevent rounds going astray.

6). one of the most telling things about this whole incident is that there are three distinct engagements in the full 30 minuet video. The first the reporters and accompanying insurgents are killed, the second the van is disabled and the two military aged males in it are subsequently killed, the third, a bunch of clearly well armed, clearly militiamen are walking into a building and that building is engaged with Hellfire missiles. To my knowledge this is almost completely forgotten or left out of the "discussions" about what happened that day. It is rather telling that this engagement is COMPLETELY LEFT OUT by the people who wish to make the case that the Soldiers were hopped up on testosterone, getting their rocks off by killing kids.

7). The children were treated by one of the very best medics I have ever known, and transported to FOB Loyalty, where they went on to the 28th CSH. AMEDD may have some real screw balls at the top, but its Doctors Nurses and Medics are first rate. they were given better care that you would be if you had received a similar injury stateside (say hit by a drunk driver). I, as 2nd Platoons Medic, gave care to two men who perhaps 15 minuets earlier were trying to kill me and mine. Had I been killed, or any of my buddies been killed they STILL would have been treated to the best of the ability of whoever treated them. I have yet to see or hear of any of the Militias, or Terrorist forces doing the same.

8). Jaysh al-Mahdi were bad. As bad as they come. They had Iranian support in material, training, and even direct action support. The Quds, Iranian Special Operation forces from the Revolutionary Guard are the very worst, and were directly supporting and in some cases leading JAM militants against American forces. They were smart lethal and cruel. I treated a boy that had been drug out of his home kicking and screaming in full view of his mother, doused with gasoline and lit on fire. This boy was perhaps 8 or 9. What sin had this boy committed? None as far as the Terp who questioned the mother could ascertain. If Noor-Eldeen could be so easy in such company, is he really a loss? I personally think not.

Now I am going to state again, for all to hear, that my concern is the truth. I don not care for personal Glorification. I know one Blue Falcon has already received "Peace Awards" and been called all sorts of heroic things because he "spoke out" or broke the cone or cube or box or rhombus of silence. There is no institutional reason soldiers do not talk about such things, rather, for me personally I don't talk about it because it forces me to relive the worst month of my life. Craig died on the 25th of June, then this shit happened, then Harrelson died, and 4 others were injured 5 days after this event. So its totally cool when people bring it up and call me and mine all sorts of vile crap. By July 20th, I was ready to lay down and die (literally). It took one of the best NCOs I've ever had smoking the ever loving dog shit out of me to get my head back in the game. I do not deserve Glory, or to be called a Hero. Save that for a man who just turned 19, and lost his life. Save that for a man who only saw his baby daughter one time before he died.

The film "Incident in New Baghdad" did not win an academy award. But even if it had, it would have been part of a larger problem. The well is poisoned. The Military (rightly) distrusts Hollywood and the Media. This has been a distrust that has built since Vietnam, and now, while we are at best "cool" in terms of reception to reporters, behind the scenes SMs are outright hostile. As we progress further into the Information age, this hostility will continue if not get worse, unless and until those that have the microphone stop and consider every word they say. As John Kerry discovered, much to his dismay, We are watching. This lesson should not be lost on News Anchors, Film Directors, Hollywood, or Politicians.

Using Condom Sense.

2012-02-21T03:55:00.000-06:00

I've got to tell you when it comes to dating. . . women have it easy. I will be the first to admit that it is incredibly difficult to maintain standards of beauty, and I think the reason women's clothing is so expensive is to offset the fact that when said clothes are worn correctly they can get men to do just about anything (physically possible). Think about it, decent or hot girls sitting at the bar only have to feign mild interest in a guy and he'll buy her drinks all night, when going to a restaurant, it is not only expected but in some cases required that the man take the check. You want to get some? See how fast you're not if you even think about going Dutch.

Yes women take an hour to get ready to go out. And that's usually an hour on top of the time they already told you. All she has to do is look pretty and you, the guy will drop your jaw, drool and say "uh-buh?". Just try to talk intelligently when a woman leans over and gives you a sight of just some cleavage (and they do that on purpose all the damn time!!!). As a guy, you are expected not only to look good, but also to be intelligent, interesting, look good, and actually have any money. You want a second date (or a long night) try being a fat ass that is not interesting or incredibly funny, or rich. In fact trying being poor, boring, unattractive, and unintelligent. You had better hope there is some Pity factor going for you.

Now take the simple act of buying, getting or having Condoms. If you've ever had an Army Saftey Briefing you'll have heard a First Sergeant telling you to "Wrap it up" Or "Use your Condom Sense". But think about that for a second. The second you grab a box of condoms, its not like you can really say you're going to do anything but have sex. Oh you can try to hide it in the midst of a shopping cart full of stuff, but what you get is going to say a lot. Magnum hugh? you really think you're that big do you? Glow in the Dark? Obviously you're down with the Rave scene. Flavored? So you're expecting oral sex are you? Plain old unlubricated condoms. You cheap bastard.

All these things are going through your mind while you're looking at the condom section sweating because in then end it really depends on what she likes. Then there's where do you keep said condoms on said date. In your wallet? In your car? what if you've got a hotel room, do you keep them there? Or if you're going to her place do you get a little brown bag and take them in? What if she goes to your place and you have a night stand full of the things. Its going to mean you a). Masterbate a lot, b). are a player and thus a dirty SOB or c). you're expecting her to give it up. A lot. Any one of these assumptions could in theory kill the mood.

then there's the actual moment you have to put one one. I don't know if you've noticed it, but there's not exactly a smooth way for a guy to say "wait, hold up, I need to put a condom on". I mean usually by the point you need to put a condom on, doesn't matter whose on top, doesn't matter if said condoms are on the night stand they're always out of reach! So invariably one or the other has to roll off, said wrapper is torn open furiously (DAMN YOU FOR GETTING IN MY WAY!!!) and assuming the lights are out (which lets be honest they pretty much always are) you have to figure out which way they actually go. Now if its the woman applying said condom there's a chance she will get it on wrong (air bubbles are bad) but if you put it on, you pretty much have to put you're whole attention on the act of putting on the condom. Now said condom is on (dear god did I really get glow in the dark? for the love of God WHY?!?!?) wait. . . where were we again? Oh yeah (here's hoping you're still in the mood).

Ok so you're in the act. Everything's going great or at least appears to. Great time to pull out. Uh-oh where did it go? Oh snap is it still inside? Um. . . excuse me. you might want to check yourself. Yeah that goes over great. Or you have to grab it off yourself and make a dash for the nearest trash can. Kinda kills the after glow if you leaf it on (also lets face it, it's gonna come loose, and dirty condoms in bed are a no no) but congratulations. You just had sex! Hopefully the whole thing was a blast and all the worry about condoms was much ado about nothing. That is until next time. . .

Being a guy ain't easy, still, at least you used Condom Sense.

Once the Pin is Pulled Mr Grenade is No Longer Your Friend

2012-02-20T17:24:00.002-06:00

It might seem childish to say but once a pin (and the secondary safety is sweeped off) the only thing keeping the "spoon" (the little handle looking thing) from flying off is you're hand holding it. Did I mention there's a spring that makes it want to fly off? Let go, and the spoon flies off you have approximately 5-10 seconds to get rid of it! So every private who ever carried, or had to throw grenades has this little simplistic statement drilled into them. Holding onto grenades and letting them "cook off" is a really bad idea.

Once the spoon flies off, a small pin strikes a fuse which slowly "burns" down to a blasting cap, and the explosives inside. Now understand that the current M-67 Grenade is designed to kill everything in a 5 meter radius and and seriously wound anything in a 15 meter radius. the only way to avoid that is to jump on that grenade (actually something we were trained to do in basic. Drills would throw a grenade simulator and the closest man would dive on it to protect his buddies) sure you might be able to get away in time. Of course you just as likely might get killed while trying to get away. You either 1). throw it back, or 2). Jump on it. Option 3). let it go off ends in many people being killed.

The pin has been pulled so to speak on Iran. That the British and Our CJCS strongly urge against it, is pretty much beside the point. Israel can either strike, or wait till its too late. We should not only "let" them, but actually activly participate in helping them. Why? Well if the Shi'a state of Iran has Nukes, how long before the Saudis get them? Once they have them how long before Jordan and Syria, Egypt and Sudan, Hell I'm sure the Kuwaitis would feel pretty threatened, and Iraq, well they did fight a massive and costly 8 year war, I'm sure that they'd need nukes as well. In all seriousness, Iran having even one Nuclear warhead would be tantamount to pulling the pin on a grenade. Would the destruction reach America? Probably not. For all the talk of Suitcase Nukes and Dirty Bombs such things are not easy to deliver.

Now avoiding war in the ME is a pretty good Idea. For all the talk and bluster the terrain for a ground war in Iran is such that maneuvers would be a nightmare, and the total land mass is greater than Iraq and Afghanistan combined. To actually contemplate a ground war in Iran one would need to triple the size of the Army and Marine Corps, and even then. . . Deployments might be for the duration, or they might be 18 + months. And the country as a whole would never go for it. These very simple facts leave the political critters wringing their hands thinking that there is nothing they can do.

This is actually not true. I would point to Operation El Dorado Canyon. It wasn't a "massive" strike by any means, it really boiled down to one carrier and a few AF units conducting a few sorties into Libya. But those few sorties literally scared the shit out of Momar. It took Libya from one of the leaders in state sponsored terrorism, down to, well really a country no one really cared about. When we invaded Iraq, Momar was so scared we'd do the same he voluntarily opened up all his WMD programs and disarmed, something the CIA didn't catch.

For too long we've let Iran simmer. There is actually a popular front inside Iran that wants liberalization, and wants western influence. We could easily turn this adversary into a friend. How we do it, is actually rather simple. We strike, hard and without warning, at the sites were nukes are being developed. We strike their military, destroy all their military aircraft (something we can do) and their significant military hardware. Then we make an open plea to the people. We have seen the discontent with the Mullahs. We can use that. The choice is wither we do it or we wait till Israel thinks they have no other options, and they do it. Trust me when I say that would be the worst possible solution.

It appears to me that the choice is Clear. Our Air Force and our Navy can do the job. Maybe not as easily as the civilian public has come to expect, but they can do the job, for now at least. Waiting till this is a full blown crisis, may, in the end be the same as seeing a grenade land in a foxhole and picking up the pretty green ball. Not a good Idea.

My Problem with the Anti-War Movement

2012-02-20T02:01:00.002-06:00

Ok first let me make this very very clear. I am not "Pro War". War is a terrible thing, that causes untold hardship and should only be entered into for the most serious of reasons. Even if the reasons for entering into a war are good, if you begin a conflict without clear objectives, goals or some cohesive measurement of victory, then you have not adequately prepared for war, and you're pissing away lives for no reason. There are many presidents that are guilty of this. From the airstrike happy Clinton, to the Great Communicator himself, many Presidents have been guilty of sending troops into harms way without proper Force Pro or clear Objectives. It is not a recent development, but as no one really bothers to study American history past the 20th Century I am left with the latter half of the 20th century to talk about, which everyone "knows"

Lets face it, the current Anti-War "movement" (and I use that term very loosely) has its genesis in the Anti-War movement of the 60's and 70's. There are a lot of aging hippies that are trying to bring back the "Good Old Days" like Medea Benjamin, Amy Goodman, Bill Ayers and his wife, and certain other notables. They have enlisted certain disenfranchised or embittered veterans, or college students who haven't really ever had to deal with the consequences of their actions, or even shiftless drifters looking for something to latch onto. The problem with this movement is that a large percentage of the country remembers how the hippies tried (and nearly did) rip this country apart. It has soiled a lot of their once allies and advocates. It also doesn't help that a lot of the Early peacenicks actually have power now. It kinda makes protesting, and "fighting the Power" hard, when your people are the ones with so much power.

To be clear, there are people who are strict pacifists. I have no problem with said people. I think their naive, but if they hold a deeply held belief that all conflict is wrong then I will not make a moral judgement upon them. Unfortunately that is not the case. Take Code Pink. I first became aware of them it 2007, when I watched the Petraus hearings live in Baghdad. Now Code Pink is a feminist Anti-War group that took their name from the old (and fictional) color coding of military alertness. It really wouldn't make much sense if they called themselves DEFCON 1, so that's probably why they used the Movie version. It also has the tragically ironic coincidence of being the Code that Hospitals call for Missing/Kidnapped babies (you can now spend hours wrapping your mind around that one. Somehow I think they didn't think this one through all the way).

What did they do to earn my Ire. Well aside from spreading the "General Betray-Us" flyers and pamphlets, they would also stand up in the middle of live, televised senate and house hearings, and scream all sorts of obscenities, dressed like fruit cakes. Keep in mind I was watching this in Baghdad. How many people around the world do you think saw Americans acting like perfect jack asses. Never mind the painfully obvious leading questions Senators and Representatives would ask. It only gets worse from there. From naked or near naked protests (trust me something you don't want to see) to running up to Condalisa Rice with red paint on their hands (trying to insinuate there's blood on their hands) the theatrics and hysterics are too much for me, and really trash the whole process, I get protest, but these hags obviously do not realize there is a line, that ought not be crossed. From trying to shout down (with pointless chanting) speakers, to spreading falshoods about what's going on, Code Pink has pulled out all the stops to get attention.

Perhaps the worst part, though is that this is not about the actual war. Its perfectly fine apparently for them to support supposed "Aid" convoys to Palestine (in truth full of weapons), because apparently Israel is being a Bully. How a country that is daily being threatened with total annihilation is a bully is still not clear to me. During the "Arab Spring" they actually had to be saved by those "evil" contractors, who literally saved them from rape. Not a word of thanks.

How about IVAW (Iraq Vets Against the War). It is clear that it was modeled on VVAW, and indeed it followed some of the unsavory practices when they attempted to repeat the unqualified "success" of Winter Soldier. The uniquely named "Winter Soldier II" put on by IVAW, with greatly exaggerated stories of "atrocities" and pointless displays of disdain, like throwing one's medals (symbolically) away. You'd never even know that a lot of the "Veterans" of the Iraq war had never actually been to Iraq, and those that had been, there were only a very few that were actually in combat arms. Ironically enough the same thing happened during the original Winter Soldier, which testimony (or at least the cliff notes) were taken before Congress by John Kerry. Yes that John Kerry.

IVAW is somewhat laughable though, because even after 8 years of war there were only about 1.5 million people who ever deployed to Iraq in any capacity. where as people could actually believe that there were so many disaffected Vietnam vets (seeing as they were about 12% of the US population, chances are you might have actually known someone that was a Vietnam Vet), and worse yet for the (bowel) Movement, people seem to actually like Soldiers. The image of Soldiers as the "Victims" or "Baby Rapists/Killers" are mutually exclusive (though it is interesting how they try to link the two) , so there are issues with their take on the war. It also doesn't help that with alternative media, it's almost impossible for a single source to call the war "unwinnable". The fact that the main faces are also constantly being called out for their "errors" adds greatly to the "clown" factor.

I could detail the laughable off shoots, like Under the Hood. I could talk about how they very nearly aided the Nasser Abdo, when he tried to repeat Maj. Hassan's actions. I could talk about Cindy Sheehan who took her very real tragedy, the loss of her son, to make her a central figure in the anti-war movement. It was almost forgotten that she and Cassey Sheehan had almost no contact after he joined the Army. I could talk about how she skirted the line of the law as much as she could, and tried to get as many soldiers at Ft Hood to deserters or get CO status. I don't mind if you really do have a change of heart and want to get CO status, but trying to get Privates who don't know any better anyway some (really bad) Barracks Lawyer advise on exactly how to get out of going to Iraq (and sadly more than one dumb-ass private took the bait and paid for it with his/her career).

No I could talk about all of that, but I want to leave you with this thought: "Truth is the first casualty of war". I find it interesting that the Anti-War movement is far more willing to indulge in "subjective" truth, than the actual war fighters. If they are so willing to Lie, What then are their ulterior motives? If they are so narcissistic, and the flunkies are so fanatic, what else might be going on there? We've given the War so much scrutiny, and those who "support" it and the troops that fight it. Why haven't people given the same scrutiny to the Anti-War movement. After all these are the people who believe so highly in Machiavellian plots an machinations, is it possible that they might be guilty of the same thing that they accuse the Warriors of?

"To Stand Still. . . Is to Surreneder"

2012-02-18T00:55:00.000-06:00

One of the most amazing quotes I've ever heard in regards to NASA is Gene Kranz who said "to stand still in space is to surrender." For decades NASA amazed not just America but the entire Human race. Niel Armstrong walking on the moon was televised live to the Soviet Union, one of the first broadcasts ever to do so. Prisoners in the Hanoi Hilton were asked "how can your country go to the moon and say 'we come in peace for all mankind' and still be at war?" the prisoners would respond "the Moon?!?" and from then on point to the moon and say "USA" which infuriated the guards. When the Space Shuttle first delivered then Fixed Hubble, it captured the imagination. We saw distant galaxies, and our understanding of the world vastly increased. Now almost every week we're finding planets around distant stars, some even appear to be Earth-like.

Yet as this happens, we now are not moving forward. At all. The planned follow up to the Shuttle "constellation" and the Aries HLV are scrapped. The target for budget cuts. To get to the ISS (International Space Station) we have to go through Russia. That is if the most expensive construction ever built is still there. See Russia has stated they plan on bringsaid station back down to Earth in a few years. As if that weren't bad enough now the Chinese are talking (seriously) about putting their own men on the moon. While I have no doubt they will sacrifice many men to get there, I believe they WILL get there

Here's the thing that (ought to) shock you, you know that "smart phone" you have? I'm sure it's only got a few gigabytes of memory right? Know how much memory was in the Mission Control room when they landed on the moon? About 30 Megabytes. Now a gigabyte is 1,000 megabytes. Your phone typically has what 16 GB? think about that for a second . Your phone has more computing power then all the space craft that NASA put into space until the Shuttle, and Mission Control COMBINED. Your phone if properly programed could fly an entire Apollo Capsule, land on the moon and return. All that is lacking is the hardware to get it there.

So how do we proceed? NASA isn't high on the Government's priorities list, in fact to tell the truth even the things the Government should be doing don't appear high on it's to-do list. Indeed I'm not really sure what we've gotten for all the debt we've accrued, but I think for a couple of trillion dollars we could not only have gone to the Moon, but probably sent a couple of people to Mars. Actually I'm sure of it. Now talking about going to Mars when in a rescession is a bit much, but when you think that for all the debt that President Obama racked up, we could get at least Gingrich's moon base.

It seems to me more and more clear that NASA has lost the wind in its sails. While it is great to find out that there are "Earth-like" planets in far flung star systems, it really does us no good unless we start trying to figure out how to get there. We have this multimillion dollar Space Station. What are we doing with it? This was the investment (by most of the world no less) to get not only a permanent home in space but to go further. To sue this station literately as a spring board to bigger and better things. Why haven't we? Well part of the problem is it costs about 10 Million dollars to get a Metric Ton of stuff (whatever that may be) into space.

There are about a million ideas from "Space Elevators" to literally shooting stuff up into orbit via gigantic cannons, to reduce the cost. There are private companies that are coming up with different designs, for just about everything that you could imagine to get things up there, but there needs to be a boost (if you'll excuse the pun) to these systems. We saw that with the "X-prize". This is the competition to have a privately funded vehicle go into space, come back safely then turn around a week later and go back again. The winner was (no surprise to the aviation industry) Burt Rutan's Scaled Composites. Keep in mind this is the guy that built the "Voyager" the first plane to fly non stop around the globe. SpaceShipOne is perhaps one of the most amazing aircraft ever built, because it defies a lot of the logic that we would usually think about space flight. He went into orbit, and yet didn't "burn" for re-entry.

So Here's what I think. NASA should do something similar. Call them the X, Y, and Z Prizes. X prize is say, going to the ISS with a minimum of 10 passengers and say a metric ton of cargo (or appropriate mix) and much like the original X prize, the vehicle should be reusable and have a 1 week or less turn around. The Y prize is to take 5 men to the Moon. Stay for a week, and come back (preferably in a reusable vehicle). The Z prize. The mother load. Take at least three NASA astronauts to Mars. Stay for say at least two-three weeks, and return safely. Set the prize (and following contract) at a fixed amount. No more Cost + contracts. If you want a profit, buddy you better come in on budget.

Here you would provide the dreamers a dream, open the field to literally everybody, and you also get the added bonus of actually going to the Moon or Mars. If you want to Put NASA on it, fine. We can make sure that NASA astronauts are sitting in the drivers seat, but if you think about it the last man set foot on the Moon was in 1972? Hell we managed to fight one of the most massive wars in our history and go to the Moon at the same time. So do not tell me it can not be done. All that is required is a dream, and a desire to make it happen and it will happen. It is my firm belief that this is not a pipe dream, but our destiny, and it will belong to those that have the strength, determination and will to simply reach for it. When put like that, Space Travel is as American as Apple Pie.

The Army Family.

2012-02-16T12:35:00.001-06:00

They say that the Army is a family. I really really big family, but a family nonetheless. When I did my first hitch I thought that they were referring to the FRG. I thought the fact that we practically bent over backwards to accommodate the Army Wives were what it was all about. But this isn't actually the case. I learned this a little bit when I was deployed. The guys I with were like my mulch-dysfunctional, semi-retarded family. We quarreled like any large family at thanksgiving, more so because we literally could not escape each other.

It wasn't until I PCS'd that I really began to understand the the "Army Family" was actually referring to the whole Army. See when I got there who should I find, and ironically become subordinate to one of my Squad Leaders in Hawaii. SSG Garza, ironically enough knew one of my Senior Medics in 2-16. SSG Garza and his family were very welcoming to me, and made me feel very much at home. Being a single soldier and all.

Well I, being a dumb ass, decided to re-up. Who should be the guy to Re-up me? My first Commander Major Steven J. Richter. Now if that doesn't seem like a small world fine. So I get to Riley. Who should be there but SGT Sanders, my squad leader in Ambulance Platoon. (he was in 610 BSB) and that wasn't all. Once I actually got to Rusty, I ran into of all people Smitty. SSG Smith, another squad leader I had while in 225 FSB. She happened to be assigned to 3rd ID, and in a completely different unit. One of the best parts one of the Infantry Platoon Sergeants in Delta Company was actually one of the Drill Sergeants I had in basic.

No if that doesn't seem insanely coincidental, then you must not think too much of things. Here's the real coinkey-dink, that's actually pretty common. The Army Family is actually an institutional fact of life. One of the things that's perhaps the most poorly understood about the Military. Yes we grunt and make gorilla type noises when speaking, but we are also a family, in more ways than one.

It is this family mentality that keeps soldiers in for 20 years (long after their knees, back, and neck are screaming for them to stop). The Army becomes like your Mother, when you're a Private, a Mistress when you're a Specialist, and something akin to a wife when you're Sergeant and above. Yes that sounds a bit of an Edapis/Electra complex going there, just bare with me, I'm living in West Virginia after all (Kidding!) Your friends become Brothers, and Sisters, and it is entirely possible, if you are in a co-ed unit, something more. There are actually as much as 17% (this was in 2004) of marriages in the Army are Dual Service. It is understandable then why so many soldiers find a "home" in the Army.

When you've done your 20 (or more as necessary) a lot of the Old Soldiers will "Fade Away" to their porch, having lived a life that very few could ever understand, they will sit on their figurative porches with several years still available to use for work (presuming no injury). We will look back fondly after "the kids have left the house" and be fond in your memories, never remembering the many squabbles and fights that marked the time.

Yes the Army is a Family. A strange, screwy weird family, but a family nonetheless. Its nice to know that I still have fathers out there if I need them.

for those in love, or wanting to be in love

2012-02-14T13:13:00.000-06:00

Love is a funny thing. It will make men do things that are distinctly uncool, or feminine in the hope of placating the woman they love. Women for their part will put up with all our Masculine idiosyncratic traits. So for Love, today I say, drink up. If you're male or female chances are you'll make a fool of yourself for love, and probably enjoy every second of it.

Happy Valentines Day.

It has more impact when other people say it.

2012-02-14T10:44:00.002-06:00

interesting how when a Brit says it, it seems to have weight behind it. And you said the Euro is such a great idea.

The Mother of all Battles.

2012-02-13T22:31:00.002-06:00

With all due respect (non thank you very much) to the late Sadam Hussein, Desert Storm which he sold to his people as the "mother of all battles" was not even close. Indeed his defeat was one of the most lopsided victories against numerically superior forces in history. Even though he had more troops, and pretty good equipment (for the time), and had a pretty battle hardened army, he received the biggest bitch slap in human history. How did we win? We used tactics pioneered by Erin Rommel, the "Desert Fox". No the title of Mother of all (land) Battles goes to the Russians and Germans at the Battle of Kursk (the Largest Naval Battle was the Battle of the Philippine Sea between the USN and the IJN).

How big was the battle of Kursk? Well to be honest it was a 100 mile wide battle, but that's just the size. Take a look at the German Forces: 780,900 men, 2,928 tanks, 9,966 guns and mortars, and 2,110 aircraft. That's about the size of the current incarnation of the entire US Army, and US Air Force. But then look at what the Soviets brought to bare: 1,910,361 men, 5,128 tanks, 25,013 guns and mortars, and 2,792 aircraft. To do a little math that's a total of: 2,891,261Soldiers, 8,056 Tanks, 34,979 Arty pieces/Mortars, and 4,902 aircraft. Now if you can find any battle in history that is that big, I will gladly shut my yap on historical matters. Even the Battle of the Bulge was small by comparison. Now the causalities: The Germans lost: 203,000 casualties, 720 tanks and assault guns, and681 aircraft. The Soviets lost: 863,303 casualties, 6,064 tanks and assault guns, 1,626aircraft and 5,244 guns

Why am I talking about this battle? Aside from the fact that you can always expect totalitarian militaries will have huge militaries, there is actually a larger lesson that the US can learn from from this battle. Well for one, we need to be very cautious when engaging a totalitarian regime. The Soviets won, largely because they mobilized the civilians, into a massive work force. They used this force to essentially build 100 miles of fortifications which the Germans cut their teeth on until they were very bloodied. I could talk about one of the largest minefields ever deployed. This should give everyone pause when talking about war with Iran or China.
But the larger lesson is that while the Soviets were getting battle hardened, they were also not nearly as professional or well trained as the Germans. They had better planes, they had tanks that could hit harder, and had better armor, and they could maneuver far better. They still lost!

Right now the US Army is second to none, in ability, and training. One has only to go to any base and train with active troops to know that they are training all the freaking time. Even MOS' that traditionally only practice rarely (Artillery/Mortars) are as professional as possible and always training. I can not speak for the Marines, but I can tell you that the Army knows it stuff, and each private is expected to have a cornucopia of skills. Everything from tactics, to basic vehicle repair. In some cases they even use their own God given talents to improve the tactics and equipment. This is expected of privates. The days of the dumb knuckle dragger are long over.

But the US army is small, and getting smaller. To put this into context, we have 10 divisions now, with enough separate brigades for another division and a "pocket" division. There are 500,000 soldiers. That sounds like a lot, but that's 500,000 period. That's not just shooters, and that's not just Active Duty. 60% of that is Reserve or Guard. The Wehrmacht at Kursk outnumbers our entire Army, and the Russians outnumber the entire DoD.

We are (not morally) in the position of the Germans. No one can argue that in '43-44 the Wehrmacht Luftwaffe and Waffen-SS were not the best in the world (the Kriegsmarine isn't really worth mentioning because aside from U-boats, their contributions were quite minimal). The Russians, won Stalingrad more for Hitler's errors than for their actual fighting ability. We are potentially thinking about taking on Iran, which I believe we could defeat, and possibly China (which we would only be able to defeat in my opinion if we allowed for the use of tactical nuclear weapons). That doesn't include the myriad of other countries that we might have to engage. Everything from Chad, to Uzbekistan. We simply can not do it with what we've got. We should also be very aware that if we get into a serious all out brawl like the Battle of Kursk, our soldiers will fight and die hard. The outcome though is very questionable.

We as Americans need to seriously reexamine our role on the international stage. We can be the white knight that comes to the rescue, or the distant parent that scolds the children but not if we keep cutting our defense budget like we have been. There will come a time very soon where we may simply not be able to do the mission anymore. How many soldiers we lose then, may truly appall the American public.

Diversity or Equality.

2012-02-13T19:18:00.000-06:00

one of the funniest things (Funny odd) about Progressives, is their constant talk about the need for more Diversity and Equality. Diversity, obviously means that you don't want one homogenous group. There's actually a pretty good reason you want a society that has more than one place to trace its roots. Equality. . . well that is actually a bit more difficult. Factual Equality would mean that everyone is the same height, sex, and whatever other characteristic you can think of. That's not only impossible, its actually the exact opposite of Diversity. Now think about the idea of human beings, no two humans are the same in ability, or even their desires, which one could reasonably argue play a large role in what people can and more importantly will do with their lives. Income Equality? That means everyone earns the same. Sounds great at first, until you realize that there is no incentive to succeed, and even, no measurement for success. Equality of Opportunity? While a level playing field is preferable, how exactly would you define for objective measurements a level field. The only place where you can (realistically) make sure the "playing field" is level is in actual sports and even then there isn't equality. Ask your high school football team to go up against the San Diego Chargers and see what they say. In truth efforts to "level the playing field" end up making said field look more like WWI no-man's land complete with mines and craters.

Indeed, if you listen to a Liberal/Progressive talk there is actually a lot of buzz words, but chances are at one point or another in a conversation you will get two of the major ones, Diversity and Equality. They, are, logically mutually exclusive, but do not try to point this out. Look at Economic Diversity. That's actually what we have right now. We have a diverse workforce that take its many skills and applies it to a diverse number of tasks. Indeed the outcomes of these labors is not the same leading to the many "classes" that we have. The virtue of American classes (as opposed to those described by Marx) is that an individual is not born into, or really forced to stay in one particular subset.

What about Cultural Diversity? Well actually that one is vastly more difficult, and ultimately impossible. Quick name a mulct-cultural society. If you said present day America, you'd be. . . wrong. While we are an amalgamation of many different societies, keeping what Americans as a whole feel is beneficial, and ditching the traditions we feel are not, we are one society, and one culture. If you really wanted to see a multicultural society, you'd have to look at turn of the 20th century New York, or Chicago. An Irishman wouldn't be caught dead anywhere near an Italian, and god help you if you were caught dating a Pole. Indeed there were not one, but several race and culture riots in the major cities, and a low grade gang war that lasted almost up until the 40's. Why did it end? Well after a generation or two, there really wasn't any difference in the cultures. They had adopted the larger American culture. While it is true that America welcomes all, it is only through integration, and the adoption of the host culture that we have really avoided the large scale strife seen in France. Unfortunately this is one of the main weaknesses of the "diversity" argument, that has largely been ignored.

Both words are remarkably simple in their meaning, and remarkable complex in their actual implementation. To be clear I think that Egalitarianism is a dead end. It is only a matter of time before an attempt to enforce "equality" becomes destructive to the individual civil liberties we so enjoy. Rather, we should not focus on making sure that everyone has an equal share of resources, opportunity, or income, we should labor, for moral reasons, to ensure that everyone has enough. Likewise while diverse worldviews can lead to unique solutions, there is also an extreme danger of increased conflict, both internationally and societal, when one starts trying to enforce such a thing. I can see Economic Diversity, not as a policy, but rather a reality of the situation. Not everyone can be a millionaire, and while it is unpleasant to think about, someone has to do the scut work.

It seems clear to me that our society has bought into myths that the Progressive Era desperately wanted to instil (but couldn't because reality caught up with them). Indeed the Progressive Ideals on the surface seem so alluring, because they play on our higher moral beliefs. Unfortunately they fail to play out the "they should just make sure everyone has an equal shot" idea. If you really want to follow that to its logical conclusion you end up with really horrifying regimes, and consequences. Why did the Progressive Era end? Prohibition. They went one step too far (actually three if you ask me), and tried to make people more moral. The end result. . . people got pissed and found a way to drink anyway. Had the Progressives retained power, it is possible that we might've seen a more Soviet like way of making sure people acted "morally".

Thus, in the end, though the Equality, and Diversity talk starts out from a good place, an actual desire to help their fellow man (or woman as the case dictates) what ends up happening is quite disastrous. This is why it is important to always make sure that when a Progressive talks about such things you always press them for more than the "we'll do this and everyone will be happy" mien. Chances are that everyone will be very much miserable (to include those that suggested it in the first place). How do I know this? Leon Trotsky. 'Nuff Said.

Around Her Hair She Wore a Yellow Ribbon. . .

2012-02-13T01:54:00.000-06:00

"I support the troops" How many times have you heard this? It's great all well and good to "support" the troops, but do you actually know any troops? Do you, oh reader, have an emotional connection with said Troops? Do you still tie a yellow ribbon around the trees in your lawn? Do you send troops care packages?

One of my favorite cadences in the Army was an old Cav cadence, that the Army as a whole adopted. it goes like this:

Of course the band Rally Point did a bit of a more interesting version

If that doesn't jerk a tear or two you're a heartless bastard.

In the last ten years our society has been flooded with images of sacrifice and victory. Triumph and tragedy. Hope and despair. All having to do with the military, their deployment and the War (singular) we are fighting. There are many to whom these images resonate. None more so than those that marry into the military, or date a soldier.

One of the most endearing image that we have from this (or really any war) is the goodbye, or the welcome home. The image of the loving wife, the children or the parents all crowded around a soldier hugging him or her so fiercely that you wonder if they are being choked. These images are powerful in their simplicity. You don't even really see the soldier's face most of the time, but the look on their family members is utterly priceless. The relief felt by those left behind, when their soldier returns home often makes those that have never seen it first hand stop and really look.

Likewise pictures of single (looking) women crying over the graves of their husbands, or hugging the flag draped coffin, even the pets laying, obviously missing the human they loved. Videos of children asking "When is Daddy coming home?" and the painful look on the face of a mother that needs to explain that, no, Daddy isn't coming home. These are Images of war that are as enduring as they are tear jerking.

As a Soldier, I rarely had anyone waiting for me. Yes my parents, but on both deployments I returned to an Empty Room in the Barracks. I will tell you, to have survived a deployment, and return to almost literally nothing. . . that is one of the most desolate feelings in the world. I do not know the pain of those left behind. For me, facing the danger, which was in front of me, and yes, at times terrifying, was far easier. The pain I expected to feel if I were injured, and what I might feel if I died, were known to me. I knew the likely ways that I would die. Not in a John Wayne movie sort of way where I clutch my gut and fall down, but in a far more graphic, and in many ways intimate way.

I knew what could, and in my mind probably would, happen to me. But the Wives, Girlfriends and children old enough to understand never would. They wouldn't know those dangers first hand. They would only know what they see in the News, and the "war porn" that some people (especially for some reason the Anti-War folks) revile in. The worst images of combat would be lade bare before them. Gone were the days where one might be able to believe that one did clutch his gut and simply fall to the ground. Now the Wives and Girlfriends are confronted with the worst possible realities that their loved one might face. I am not excluding males. There have been husbands left behind to, Females have died as well, and those males too must confront the image of a once beautiful (I assume) wife killed in a very gruesome fashion.

It is to those we leave behind, that live with an anxiety I could not understand, that we should also raise a toast to. Loving someone, whose job it is, to possibly die, can not be easy. In many ways these people are the mistress, and they must watch their significant other who is "married" to the military, but that marriage, the notional marriage, above their very real one. It can not be easy. It explains why there are so many marriages that break up in the Army.

To all the Wives. To all the Girlfriends, Husbands, and Boyfriends we soldiers left behind, You have my thanks. You have kept the home-fires burning, and given us a vision of that most celestial of places, Home. Your sacrifice, is just as real as ours, and though you may never get a medal for such, you are most certainly deserving. You're love and affections allow us to rest (when we can) knowing that all is right with at least one part of the world.

Thank you for everything you do. Charlie Mike!

What Goes Around Comes Around

2012-02-12T08:52:00.002-06:00

People believe that the internet gives you anonymity. There is a group of "activists" know as "anonymous" who seem to revile in causing as much chaos as possible whenever someone gets up their hackles. That they target the DoD, CIA, NSA, and even fortune 500 companies, and seriously penetrate the same, should give some people pause. But nothing, not even on the internet happens in a vacuum. The things you do, and say will get back to you. Blogging is the most obvious example, but we've seen social media get back to a person in a really big way as well. Even Anonymous has been itself penetrated, and some of the ring leaders names released. That the group is diffuse and that they are not so much coordinated as pointed at a target has been an asset to them, but again, that is not fool proof.

I want to give you a few examples of how things you can say get back to you. Way back in 2004, I was working at the Ivory Combat Clinic in Kirkuk Iraq. It was named for a 173rd Airborne trooper that had died of non-combat related injury, in 2003. Now I was curious to learn more about this individual so I went looking for him and found a message board where I left a brief message:

"I never knew you but I see your name, and face every day at the Ivory Combat Clinic, Named after you. I pray you find peace.

STRIKE LIGHTNING!"

SPC Bailey of ICC, Kirkuk , Iraq

It was nothing much to me and I completely forgot about it. Flash forward a few months and 225 Forward Support Bn is getting ready to go home, and Lt Ammeda pulls me aside and asks me to take the board that had been hanging on the T barrier in front of the Aid Station.

The lower one. The white sign to my knowlege still hangs in the Company area in Hawaii

Sure says I, even though I've already been tasked with an Aid Bag (lest anything happen) and my own personal bag. I asked her why, and she stopped. and looked at me rather seriously (which is impressive considering she is about 5'1")

"hasn't anyone told you?"

"Told me what ma'am?"

"Did you leave a message on a message board about SPC Ivory?"

At this I really racked my brain, and in one of those "ah-ha" moments remembered something that had taken all of five seconds.

"yes ma'am." I said this with trepidation. The Army was cracking down on bloggers

"Well SPC Ivory's parents found out about that, and contacted our PAO, we're presenting it to them when we get back, and its all thanks to you."

Well needless to say I was rather stunned by this. It was an honor and a privilege to carry this sign back, even though it quickly grew to headache proportions when we finally got to Doha. We finally get back, I am told to give up the sign and I kind of forget about it again. Until SPC Ivory's mom and Step Dad come to Hawaii, and we give them the sign. A lot of the members of the company were treated to a dinner at Ruth's Cris (if you've been to Hawaii, you'll know that this is a top flight, steak house). I was given a coin, and despite the fact that I protested vehemently that I really hadn't done anything, I was treated like one of his son's best friends by his step dad. One small throw away line gave a man a measure of peace regarding the loss of a child he called his own. Sometimes the Internet can be a tool for good.

There is of course a number of negative examples. I don't think I need to talk about the "Army Wife, Army Life" blog. It's been well documented and responded to. This is an example of a negative action getting back to you. Of course there's PFC Manning, who I really won't get into, Matthis Chiroux, whose favorite hobby is going around to schools and telling kids that the military rapes half the women serving, and lies about his service. The truth comes out eventually, and though most people know Matthis is a liar, the little things he says will come back to haunt him.

Another person, who has caused my personal Ire, is Ethan McCord. I could go into a long winded explanation about how much of a jackass he has become, but seriously, that's not necessary, I'm not the only one that is pissed about it. The Incident itself is surprisingly well documented. He talks about "War Crimes" and how we're daily gunning down women and children. He talks about the Children he saved, and the pain he has from that day. Which I might have sympathy for. If he hadn't gone and sought out the media when PFC Manning had released the video that would become Collateral Murder, and then fallen in with IVAW, and Not Your Soldiers. He has become the darling of the Liberal Masses (I'm thinking the Unwashed strongly in the forefront), and forgotten what it means to be a Soldier.

I firmly believe he is doing this for purely narcissistic reasons. He is a darling now. He is getting all the love that he can stand, and though I don not think that there is massive monetary compensation, I would not be surprised if there is. In the process he has thrown every Soldier he ever served with under the bus. I've decided, now that some of my fellow comrades have actually shown interest in hitting back at this Blue Falcon. . . I make this public Decoration for all to see. For everyone to know and in the hopes that it will get back to McCord.

My name is Michael Bailey. I swear that I will fight the negative image tooth and nail, that I will support and defend my battle buddies in this fight, and that I will make sure that everyone knows what a Blue Falcon former Spc McCord is.

So help me God.

Rights and Privileges

2012-02-10T20:33:00.000-06:00

I believe, firmly, that the Rights do not come from the Government. I also believe that anything that is a Right, can not actually cost anything. Take Religion, or Speech, or Gun Ownership. On the whole, those do not cost the individual a dime unless they want to pay. Yes the Church expects you to tithe, but at the end of the day you have to want to give that money. The same can be said for the Right to own firearms. You have to want to own a firearm, but if you want to have a gun, by all means go and get one.

How about the Right to speedy trial? This one is *sadly* forgotten too often now a days, as the courts can take months or years to hear and decide cases, but on the face of it, this one does cost money, as does the Right to trial by Jury. The cost here is something that you have to weigh with the larger wrong of Kangaroo Courts. Which is worse, a moderate cost of money and time, or untold innocent people sent to jail. As it stands we labor intensely to make sure that no innocent man goes to jail. Mistakes can be made, but not as many as Hollywood would like you to believe.

What about the right to be silent if you feel that the answer might incriminate you? Yeah the 5th Amendment might be annoying as hell in corruption cases, but it prevents a larger wrong of compelling a person to speak, and possible talk him or herself into a conviction. People say stupid things when their nervous. What about the Right to Due Process? Again this one is a no brainer. It makes sure that all prescribed steps are followed, before sentences are handed down.

What about the Right to Healthcare? Well tell me how much does that Cost? Lets start with doctors education. About $150-$200K easy. That doesn't include the Nurses techs, and all the support staff, and their training. Now think about the supplies used. Drugs aren't cheap. Neither are sterile 2x2's 4x4's or blood products, IV bags, etc. Even the oxygen costs money. (FYI the air you are breathing right now is +/- 21% oxygen. The air that comes out of a tank is 100%). That doesn't even go into the cost of the electricity to keep the heart monitors, lights, and CT/MRI/X-ray machines running. Yes. Healthcare actually does cost. A LOT. It costs more when you begin to realize that you and that other guy that paid are paying for three people that didn't. This is, of course, figured into the cost of your care.

What about food? FDR was big on this one. A Chicken in Every Pot, as the saying went (it may seem like small potatoes to us now but during the great depression that was HUGE). Again, while we would like to feed everyone everywhere someone somewhere is going to have to pay for it. But even starvation (in America at least) is something that's highly over blown. Stop me if you've heard this one. Fat guy, with his very obese wife and very obese kids walks into Mikey-D's and pays with food stamps. Not to put too fine a point on it, but this is the only country I can think of where the poor people are fat and the rich are skinny. I mean how many meals can you be skipping if you weigh in excess of 200 pounds? If you compare that to kids in Africa I don't buy for a second that poverty in America is as horrendous as we are lead to believe. So they can't afford nice things, that sucks, but come on, they're alive and (obviously) well fed.

We have a very serious problem in this country. It's not the war we're *still* fighting, and though the huge debt and deficit is a problem, that is more a symptom of the larger problem we face right now. We have forgotten or mixed up our Rights and Privileges. A Privilage is something you get to do, but can be taken away from you. Take Occupy Wall Street, and their many sympathetic responses in other cities. It is a Privilege, that you are allowed to continue this protest. It has already been demonstrated in Oakland, LA, New York, and DC that these people are a menace. There have been Rapes, and Thefts a plenty, and the sheer sanitation issue should have caused civic leaders to close down these events long ago. Be that as it may, they are allowed to continue at the tolerance of their local government and local citizens. They do not have a Right to vagrancy.

Likewise when the police finally do move in many of the Unwashed, feel the need to "resist". Though they will say peacefully, I would argue otherwise. Again there is no Right to keep you from being arrested for "using your Freedom of Speech". Indeed, I could be drunk off my ass and telling everyone that "I hate [insert racial epitaph here] i wish they would all [bleep] Die" believe it or not even though that speech is protected I can still be arrested. Drunk and Disorderly. Sucks. But back to the Unwashed Masses, if you impede the police from doing their duty, unless said duty involves shooting babies, or flinging cats off a bridge, you do not have the Right to resist. You certainly can do that, but have to understand that there will be consequences to your actions.

It has become increasingly clear that we have no clue what the hell the founders meant anymore. Take the example of cruel and unusual punishment. I take it to mean that if I steal I'm not going to have my right hand (the hand you don't wipe with in Arab culture) taken off. I do not take it to mean that if I commit a crime I'm going to get a nice cozy cell with cable TV or else I have to be released. When the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals decreed that California had to release 32,000 inmates because of overcrowding I went to look. These men were in open bays with wall lockers. If the 9th Circuit court wanted to see over crowding they should have seen COP Bushmaster 1, where we'd stick 20 guys in a room, where there was barely any room to fit said 20 cots. Cruel and Unusual Punishment does not protect one from harship they might have to face because they committed a crime.

What our country is, what our values are, are slowly eroding. We have lost the JFK's that told you to go out and do for your fellow man, and accepted the Clinton and Obama's that feel its somehow a crime if the government does not make sure your every little need is met. Our Rights have become this jumble of misunderstood ideologies, which have somehow translated into "do whatever the hell you want and if anyone tries to stop you they're obviously Nazi Fascists!". "ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country" is replaced by "where's the Gub'ment?" Here's a news flash. There are 600 people making policy in Washington. There are 300 MILLION Americans. Even if the Government wanted to there's no way in hell it can even begin to address every single citizen's needs or wishes. It is not a Right, that the Federal Government will save you from your bad decisions. Nor is it a Privilege.

When it comes to the Constitution, I think more Americans need to actually RTFM (Read the F**king Memo) or this society is doomed.

I have PTSD. I am still your guardian.

2012-02-08T18:55:00.001-06:00

There was a pretty good Article over at the Rino Den, called "I have PTSD. . . So What". It's actually a pretty good read. But here's the bottom line. In our country there is an irrational fear of our Veterans. maybe it is only in a small subset of our society but it is very real nonetheless. Take a recent incident where a Vet calls a suicide hotline. SWAT breaks down his door. TAH did a pretty good piece on it, but this isn't the first time. Pima county Sheriffs did one of the sloppiest Door Charges ever and killed a Former Marine. Why did they fire over 100 rounds into him? Weed. And they knew he was a Marine.

I have, and struggle with my own form of PTSD. It helps to work out to have a goal to drive towards. It helps that I know that I'm not alone. It helps to know that I am still the guardian of these people around me, even if in a much reduced capacity. This is how I get through. It isn't easy. There are days where I (still) wish I had never made it out of Rustamayah. I still can't listen to "Sweet Home Alabama" without crying my eyes out. But I am not, repeat NOT going to go on a rampage.

Do hippies and the like make me so angry I want do cause *ahem* "grievous bodily injury". Oh you bet. I'd even piss on their corps afterward. . . in my fantasy. I will never actually act on that. Why? Because despite the fact that I find their form of humanity the most despicable form, and that their words are the most insanely offensive. . . I get a kick out of reminding them that if they were in the countries they purport to love so much they'd have been hung disemboweled stoned then shot. But I also know its a small victory (that they are totally ignorant of) that they can say these things without fear. In the end I realize that despite the truly terrible things they say about me and mine. . . I'M BETTER THAN THEY ARE

PTSD is not a death sentance. Its not even really that bad for most of us. Sure we sit with our backs to the door, and understand that saftey is an illusion, but at the end of the day we are still strong. We are wise. We are the best America has, and it will remain that way. I encourage you to look around your work place. Find the one that is the most dependable man or woman on your staff. How much you want to bet they're a Veteran, or in a family of Veterans? I have said it before, and I will say it again. The only way to combat this stereotype is to stand up and Speak up.

EGO Sum usquequaque a Miles militis

Glad to see it (FINALLY)

2012-02-07T11:26:00.002-06:00

Ok so this post will require a bit of Background. First. 12 July 2007, if you haven't seen the video, then here's the short version: A couple of insurgents were getting ready to jump Mortar Platoon 2-16 Infantry regiment who were sitting in a blocking position supporting Bravo Company. They were spotted by two Apaches from 1-227 Aviation Regiment. What followed were three distinct engagements. The first, was pretty obvious, and in the process a Ruiters photographer was killed. Following that there was a van that pulled up that started loading the wounded. This was engaged as well. Lastly there were a bunch of Military Age Males with full on combat rigs (this particular part is almost completely ignored) they went into a building then got fired up by hellfire missiles. Here's the Video that shitstain Manning released (not I put out the unedited video, because the edited one is utter horse shit)

ok so on the face of it there's a lot to talk about here. Is it disturbing? Yes, a vehicle appears to drive over a body (you really can't see in a humvee), the children were pretty bad, it was shocking, and you can hear Bushmaster 6 immediately get on the radio and begin evac. Then you also see a lot of other activity. There's a lot of things I could say (because I was there).

I'm going to be honest after the video was released and blasted on the news I had some SERIOUS issues. Shortly afterwards I called McCord and said something to the essence of "can you believe this shit?" well he said don't worry about it. I thought that was the end of it. He went ant talked to the media and I got a little worried. A little while later ADM Mike Mullen came to WVU and I confronted him about the video and asked how they would protect us from this slander. He actually gave me a coin after that (never have to pay at a dining in AGAIN!!!) well that got my name out to reporters.

I got contacted three times about the incident. One of the people that contacted me was James Spione, who was creating a video called Incident in New Baghdad. Well I had my doubts on the whole thing, he didn't have money to come to me and I didn't have money to go to him. I genuinely believe it was a scheduling issue, not anything untoward. Well that leads to this video.

Yeah guess what. It's nominated for an academy award. That's pretty eye opening. I take some serious issue with McCord talking about Craig, who was my guy, and not in his platoon. He was nowhere near Craig when he died, and if you've read my post "my side" you'll understand that I took his death pretty hard. Then this shit happened. 5 days later, Harrelson died. So i tend to over react when this particular time period is talked about.

Well apparently the Nomination has spurred some of my former comrades into action. I tried *desperately* to get them involved when Spione was actually making the documentary, but no one thought anything of it. Right now it's just a Facebook group 2-16 Veterans Against Liars (i.e. Ethan McCord).

I think that it's too little too late, but I shot this off to as many people as I know. Now its a bit of a waiting game to see if anything happens.

Also here is my account for you. If its a bit odd I had to use Paint to cut it down some. I'm not going to rewrite the whole thing so just take a look here.

Navy Sets a Dangerous Precedent.

2012-02-05T21:51:00.000-06:00

Have you ever horsed around? I have never know 18-24 year old (typical 1st enlistment age) males not to. In fact, in some cases "Horsing around" actually serves a purpose. It can be part of establishing a social pecking order, a stress reliever, or even a way to excise certain disputes. To be clear Male methods of resolving interpersonal conflict are quite different than Female methods. The benefits for males is that when its over its over, you gave it your best, and that's that. Much like a release valve on a pressure cooker or a water heater, it prevents larger explosions (as seen on Mythbusers).

The Navy in all its wisdom has a zero tolerance policy for hazing. That's fine. Sounds good. But exactly what does that mean? well apparently it means: Don't Rough house. Ever. Some sailors on the USS Bon Homme Richard (the "Good Man Richard" named after a ship the French gave to the Americans during the Revolutionary War, and later an Essex Class Carrier) were caught Horsing around. Essentially they were having little mini MMA fights (minus striking) and ending it when one sailor would tap out. Apparently this is "hazing". Which begs the question: Why are you training these people to fight at all?

Seriously. Think about it. You're training these kids to go to war, then sticking them on a ship for months at a time. Did you expect that they would be robots? Young men go stir crazy. Quickly. Do you expect these men to form a bond with each other without ever testing themselves? Have we really gone so far, that we've forgotten that Males actually do the War Fighting, and that as such Males need to be able to have something to actually struggle against or they simply won't function in a high stress environment.

I wonder what the Navy might say about a platoon of Army Troops literally choking the shit out of each other for like half an hour? Probably the lot of us would be strung up on charges. But in 2007 the Army couldn't afford a whole platoon, or even really even a few of the key senior NCOs. We were there to fight. What we did with our off time, so long as we didn't kill anybody or break (not bend) the rules who cares?

The Navy has not had to fight a serious battle since the end of WWII. How many times have they shot, and been shot back at? At best a handful of times. Indeed US Carriers since they were *finally* armored with the USS Midway (CV-41) have never come under direct attack. So our brothers and sisters in the Navy may have forgotten what its like to fight an actual, ya know, war.

This decision sets a very dangerous precedent. If you are not willing to fight, or if you punish those that show the Warrior Spirit, you will soon find yourself with little more than button pushers, and pansies with no real steel in their spines. But since we're living with the Kinder Gentler DoD, that may be all well and good. I'm sure before long, Sailors will have to wear flowers on their uniforms, and absolutely not think about so much as harming a fly. While we're at it being Gay is all the rage. Let's make sure Sailors are sensitive by instructing them how to have a "proper" Gay Encounter.

And you wonder why the Army and Marines give the Navy so much shit?

Oh Come on Pats!!!!

2012-02-05T21:19:00.000-06:00

As a San Diego fan I often get disappointed by their decent preferences, only to be lack luster at important games. The win against the Ravens, for example, and knocking the Raiders (one of the two teams I despise) out of the Playoffs was enough to give a poor fan hope that one day ONE DAY the Chargers would go to the Super Bowl (and actually win).

My fall back team, from my time at Landmark was the Patriots. It was always assured that the Patriots would do well (at the very least). I don't know who the hell showed up to Indianapolis but it sure as hell wasn't the Patriots.

Foxtrot Mike Lima. The Jersey kids are going to be unbearable for the next few weeks.

"hey look at me" and How It Harms Us ALL

2012-02-05T16:41:00.001-06:00

If you've ever meet anyone in the Special Ops community, you'll know they're typically not cocky (unless they're Rangers) just extremely confidant. When you turn to them and say "I need you to do [insert tasking here]" they'll not only tell you what they need, but they'll tell you which team, from which branch is best suited to the job. There is no "cookie cutter" Special Ops unit, all specialize in specific missions. Despite the constant belief by many civilians that SEAL Team 6 (actually DEVGRU) are the be all end all, they couldn't do their mission without 160tg SOAR, and there are just as many missions you don't hear about that other units like CAG (formerly Delta) do. Moreover while they might give you the general out line of "Somebody killed some bad guys somewhere and rescued some hostages in the process" they will not talk about mission specifics. Or even say the words "classified" or "secret" They'll hint (strongly) that they wouldn't have any idea what you're talking about.

Now we have an extreme number of rats, cockroaches and other pests coming out of the wood work trying to claim they were SEALs or that they did secret missions. When you do a FIOA to get their DD-214, amazingly they were either privates or were never in the military in the first place. This typically tends to evoke the response "well it's classified". Uh-hugh. Well let's think about this for a second. You say you did something so classified that your existence in said uber classified unit, is itself classified, and you're telling people all about it. . . right. You don't mind if I call you a liar, and a fraud do you?

people want to hear about all the secret missions that people do. Hell I've been on missions you're not supposed to talk about. Know what? They're boring as hell. Take RECON Marines. Not actually Special Ops, though if you listen to the Marines those Pansy SEALs can go home and let RECON do the job. There's one major problem. While the RECON Marines are indeed a hard bunch. . . their missions are not direct action. Ever see Generation Kill? That's a true story of 1st RECON Bn during OIF I. Quick, how many major battles were they in? Not that many. that's because their job is to scout out the enemy for the Main Force to attack. Its kind of hard to do that kind of Reconnaissance in Lightning War, or Blitzkrieg (which has become our preferred methodology of warfare). Likewise when you're whole mission profile is not to be seen it tends to get rather boring watching and waiting for some form of actionable Intel, then doing a BDA after the fact. You're not even supposed to engage most of the time, because you packed light.

Ah but what about those Direct Action raids, and ops you hear about? True there are more of them for the Spec Ops community than you'd typically find in the usual Line units, but again they are not doing anything that the Line Units don't do to a lesser degree of expertise. The SEAL ammo budget for one live fire training mission may actually be the same as the ammo budget for a whole Light Infantry Bn for a fiscal year. When you're expending that much ammo, you tend to get one of two things 1). really good or 2). really dead. Indeed if you were to take say my old Bn 2-16 Infantry, and run it through SEAL CQB training, at the rate and intensity they do, you might well have a bunch of really high speed soldiers, true there would be a lot of guys that didn't cut the mustard but the main difference between Special Ops and Line units is all in their training.

So why are there so many fakers. I've outlined a lot of the reason the Mythos is so appealing if misunderstood. The missions tend to write themselves and the "don't quit" attitude is such that many people, tend to think that these men are somehow supermen. Most people who have never tested their bodies do not understand the limits of human endurance, and thus could not possibly understand that what Special Ops units do is not super-human, it is operating at the limits of human ability, which is sadly something one can not sustain for very long. Part of it plays into the victim mentality. "I did all this high speed stuff and now I'm Broke and Broken". But that's not what Operators would say at all. The core of it, really is hero worship. The people that do this can not imagine what its like to be an Operator, and they idolize them for what they do, so they figure they can make up a story and receive that idolization in return. Its a form of self gratification that sadly add more mess than the usual mastabatory kind.

I believe firmly that these fakers cause immeasurable harm. Form the Occupy San Diego "hero" to the homeless dude claiming to be a part of 12th Mountain Division, these fools feed into the worst negative stereotypes of Military Veterans. Even Jesse Ventura, who has become something of an icon for conspiracy nuts, in his search for the "truth" (for values of truth) has become an embarrassment to Veterans. His form od Stolen Valor is if anything worse because he knows better!!! He was a UDT. He should know that claiming to be a SEAL and seeing combat in Vietnam but never having done either particulars eats away at the real credibility of real SEALs. I think he sought the fame. He sought the recognition, and when the roids finally ate away at what was left of his brain, he wanted the legitimacy that comes from having been "used" for classified missions deep behind enemy lines. Only problem, that wasn't the UDT's mission. They were underwater (and land) EOD. Now that he's a conspiracy nut taking on everything from 9/11 to Chupicabra, he needs that stamp of "legitimacy" that the red rubber "classified" stamp gives him. Never mind that that's not how we mark such documents anymore.

If you ever meet a SEAL or Green Beret, or TAC-P or PJ etc, they will not just come out and say "oh I was a [insert super secret squirrel name]". Anonymity is key to these men. Believe it or not they are very humble. There are not more primadonas, or rouges, though there were once. The men that are a part of the community now are ardent professionals. They are the Quiet Professionals that Americans so desire to know are there. That there are so many fakes that seek to touch a part of this community should fill every patriot with the deepest sense of loathing for these fakes.

The Wedding (short story)

2012-02-05T04:10:00.001-06:00

“I love you” she said to him. It was so simple and yet it meant everything to him. The air was still heavy from the musk of sex. Both of them were still drenched in sweat. He looked at her. Her naked form was so beautiful, and to have one so beautiful so loving, turn her attention to him was something that still made his jaw drop.

He sat on the edge of the bed. Just staring at her. Even though what had just happened might best be sent to penthouse forum, the way she lay there so relaxed and content, it was like something right out of the Louvre. Some might have called her plain but to him, angels did not look nearly as radiant or beautiful. She sat up and came to sit next to him. Her blond hair falling freely.
“what’s wrong?” she asked
He managed a shrug “nothing, it’s just. . . This. Its always what I wanted.”
She smiled and he leaned over and kissed her. Her lips still seemed so soft. Even though they should be chapped. With out a hint of makeup she somehow seemed more beautiful than the models he’d always seen in magazines.
“I don’t want to lose you.” he said to her in a quiet voice
“you won’t. you’ll never lose me.” somehow she’d managed to say just the things he’d wanted to hear. He kissed her again.
“I don’t know if I’ll make it back this time.” he said even quieter. Almost a whisper.
“you will. You have to come back to me.”
He closed his eyes.

He opened his eyes, and the sound came back to him. It was like popcorn from hell. Each one a potentially lethal round cooking off. The Bradley sat burning just thirty meters away and still he could feel the heat. There was a screaming The man below him, a friend was missing the better portion of his right leg. Blood was streaming down his face from a gash above his right eye, and his left arm was charred the unmistakable, and nauseating smell of burnt flesh and hair wafting up to his nostrils.
He tried to drag the man to the house that had been cleared, but it wasn’t easy. He was heavy and mostly dead weight. Inside the courtyard, more men were screaming. One was holding the nearly headless body of a friend rocking back and forth begging pleading praying that through some miracle his friend would live.
Another had his hands on his stomach and scream. His intestines were hanging out and they looked like pink sausage links. In the corner a boy on his side moaned, ragged holes in his side. All around the sick crimson of blood was filling the courtyard. Already some of it had started to coagulate into globs.
Outside someone screamed and the unmistakable sound of an RPG headed towards here he now stood.
“You have to come back to me.”
He closes his eyes.

He opens them
“dearly beloved we are gathered here today, in sight of God, to witness the joining of these two people in the bonds of holy matrimony. . .”
The priest in his flowing cream robes looked absolutely shabby compared to her. She was so radiant that the entire place seemed to light up just from her presence. Her blond hair pulled back into a bun, and her face partially hidden by a veil, it was nonetheless clear that she was smiling, and happy. He thought back to that day so long ago. He could almost see here like some vision of Eve, in naked wonder.
He couldn’t help but smile. He had never really pictured her here, but it was clear that in this moment she had never been happier. On both sides people watched. Some were stoic in their silence, many women dabbed their handkerchiefs with tears, and many of the older men sat there with a knowing smile. It was in short the moment he had always imagined.
“You have to come back to me”
He closes his eyes

He opens his eyes.
In front of him is a scene from hell. There is fire everywhere. One of the oil tankers had been destroyed. Everywhere cars burned. Women and children went running in complete panic. The crowds surging and people are thrown without regard into the open sewage trenches.
Little figures come running out of the shop. Figures that could only be children. Their bodies consumed in flames. They don’t get far. They fall and roast on the spot. Dead. People with their clothes on fire don’t even seem to notice such is their panic, and need to flee.
A woman her shroud almost engulfed on the backside runs into a crowd. And sets a man on fire. The screams over take him, and for a second he is not sure what to do. Can he even try to help these people. He turns to his team leader, who sadly shakes his head.
“secure that corner” he points to a corner and then points towards the chaos. It’s clear what he means. Keep anyone from getting too close. Even if they need help. A hard lesson learned, and now these people are going to pay the price. They can’t be helped. To help them will put these soldiers at risk of being slaughtered themselves. It’s not right his heart screams. But his mind knows that he has to protect himself first.

He goes to the corner and kneels. Transfixed by what he sees. The panic lessens. The people that can flee have. Now all that is left is the moans and screams of the dead and dying. Fire is still everywhere. An old hajji in a man dress starts running towards him, jabbering in Arabic
“KIFF!” he screams. He raises his weapon. “KIFF!” the hajji still comes running, his beard singed. He raises his fist and screams, and starts to speed up. Without a second though he takes aim. He aims high intentionally and fires two rounds, but the old hajji keeps coming Please don’t. he lowers his aim. Center mass.

“you have to come back to me.”

He pulls the trigger, and closes his eyes.

He opens his eyes.
“If any person can show good cause why these two should not be married, let him speak now or forever hold his peace.” the priests says.
He is snapped back to the now. The man across from her is not him. And he stares at her from one of the last pews. From his seat on the isle he had followed her with his eyes, but he wasn’t sure she had seen him. For a long moment the church was quiet. The priest took in a deep breath ready to speak again.
He stood up. His medals tinkling. His uniform immaculate. For a moment no one but those around noticed that he had stood up. But when the priest stopped what he was about to say and looked him in they eye waiting for him to speak, the audience started to take note. The silence was broken by the sound of rustling and even murmurs. One by one all eyes in the church turned to him. Even the groom. And when the groom’s jaw flexed it was clear that he had an audience. But he waited. Finally she turned.
For one long moment their eyes met and they were not in a church but in a little hole in the wall hotel room, naked and in love. He saw her draw in a breath and wait. He drew breath to speak. But words would not come. He hung his head, and his shoulders hunched in defeat. He stepped out into the isle and walked away from the scene. He walked all the way to the exit not daring to turn back.
He heard his name echo throughout the hall, and he stopped. His spine went ramrod strait, and he waited. He turned his head just the barest fraction and waited for more. But when nothing came, he faced the doors in front of him and walked out into the sunlight.
He closed his eyes
“You have to come back to me.”

“I did.” he whispers to no one in particular.

Yom Kipour War and lessons we can learn.

2012-02-04T05:36:00.004-06:00

War is deception. From Sun Tzu to "Stormin Norman" Schwarzkopf, deception is an absolutely vital part of fighting any war. In October 1973, the Syrian Army launches an attack on the Golan Heights, and Egypt attacks the Sinai this attack was a surprise to the Israelis, and because of that the Israelis reacted poorly. What is amazing about this event is that the Syrians had geared up and looked like they were going to charge the boarder. Several times, only to go away. This played into Israeli beliefs about how Arabs fight, and their abilities.

In the Battle of the Golan Heights, in the North the Israelis barely held on in the Northern front by their fingernails. In the South the Syrians tore through the Israelis like tissue paper. Now the biggest problem for the Israelis is that their reservist were put together piecemeal and thrown into the fight in sheer desperation. Because of this their tanks were poorly prepared, and their accuracy. If Israel were ever to lose their sovereignty it was in the opening hours of the Yom Kipour War. Eventually through sheer dumb luck, and dogged determination, the Israelis managed to hold on, and counterattack, and win out in the end. The casualties for the Israelis were incredibly high.

What can we as Americans learn from this war? That any potential enemy can never be trusted. Every time you get an "indication" that you enemy is going to make a push, you have to treat it like they will attack. Recently we have had issues with the two remaining members of the so called "Axis of Evil". Both could, if they were so inclined, really screw up local forces, and indeed a lot of our main forces if they were so inclined. North Korea has something along the lines of 1 million artillery tubes. Now we have not seen employment of so many Arty Pieces since the Battle of Kursk, which was literally the largest land battle in human history. Iran, for all the American bluster is determined and worse fanatical. Their military is decently well trained, indeed better than the Iraqis, and the Revolutionary Guard or Quds, are unbelievably scary people. They gave Americans fits in Iraq, and continue to in Afghanistan.

Th recent bluster of Iran threatening the US should we be "foolish" enough to try to send a Carrier Air Group into the Straits of Hormuz. The USS Enterprise (CVN-65) the oldest and most Storied US Carrier, on its last deployment, was sent in. Have no doubt that the carrier was on high alert. Why, well if Iran really want to, the Big E and all her escorts would sit at the bottom. The Carrier battle group is not the unassailable formation that once existed in WWII, or even as late as Desert Storm. One Cruiser two destroyers, and 2 Los Angeles or Virginia class Hunter Fast attack Subs. While I have no doubt that all these ships would be hard as hell to sink, they would all bow (eventually) to the weight of firepower that Iran could bring to bare in the extremely narrow Straits. Small little PT boat like craft were sent out, challenged and returned without a fight, but this should not be seen by Americans as a clear sign that Iran won't fight. For too long we have seen the Carrier as this invincible broad sword, and US presidents have slowly lowered the size of the fleet, relying on these massive floating middle fingers. But this has only made them extremely vulnerable.

I don't know who really wants a war with Iran as Ron Paul seems to suggest. Rest assured that if we were just going to wipe the floor with them, we could. Not easily, but we could invade, and destroy whatever military they have, but we could not stay. There would be no way to sustain any operations with the forces we have now in an area the size of Iran. You'd essentially have to deploy the entire Army and Marine Corps Active duty forces for the duration, and rely on NG and Reserve units to fill in gaps. Essentially there would be no one left to fight, or be in reserve anywhere. So for all intents and purposes that form of war is out with Iran.

Since we have no intention of actually invading Iran, and since we expect everyone to play nice and obey boarders (which they never do) we are totally unprepared for any major Iranian intervention. The same too can be said of North Korea. We used to have a whole Division and support assets in South Korea. Now it's just one Brigade. Now I do believe that, should the North Koreans attack the ROK Army will fare far better than they did in 1950, but that does not mean that Seoul, or the US troops currently in Korea will survive the experience. The DPRK would no doubt pay dearly for any gains made, but, as with most dictatorships, what are a few thousand men for the lasting glory of the Leader?

Again we run into some of the same issues with North Korea that we do with Iran, except there's another huge elephant in the room. China. . . In 1950 China got involved and steam rolled American troops. You can talk for days about how well the Marines and Army troops fought in the Chosin, or how the Army bravely fought its way out of encirclement in the west (where Charlie Rangal got his Bronze Star btw) but like it or not the Chinese corn cobbed the Americans. Any conflict with the DPRK runs the very real risk that the PRC will get involved, and where the US barely held on in 1950, now, with the RIF's about to happen. . . I think it will look like Custer's last stand on a much grander scale.

Then there's another card on the table. Both Iran and North Korea, have or soon will have Nuclear Weapons. Any incursion made by US forces, runs the very real risk of being destroyed by tactical nuclear weapons, and both DPRK and Iran have people at their heads crazy enough to use them. Sure, you say, we could Nuke them off the face of the planet. No big deal. Only it would be a huge deal. Nuclear weapons have not been employed since 1945. By and large the fact that they're even there has cause a lot of conflicts to pull short. Do you think we could have avoided a world war with the Soviets if there were no Nukes? What happens to all the regional powers when they see the US say "fuck it" and just plaster their enemies under Nuclear fire? It is entirely possible it might spark regional wars, or even full on Nuke exchanges.

The sad fact is that both North Korea and Iran are in the positions of the Syrians and Egyptians in October 1973. They could push hard, and really screw the American allies and interests. Indeed what American forces lie in their way will no doubt fight well and die hard, but should either (or both) decide to make an issue of it, we are so unprepared for it, that it is a forgone conclusion, what will happen. Perhaps we should start taking lessons from the Israelis when it comes to strategic thinking. Its looking more and more like thats the position we're going to be in in the near future.

Its not WestERN Virginia. Its this whole other state.

2012-02-02T14:16:00.000-06:00

I know I've taken to not posting personal stuff as of late, but this one kinda struck me. Trying to explain to someone that I was going to Dub V (WVU) and they said "oh is that near Richmond?" No. Not even close. How sad is it that people don't know the only state with two pan handles and looks like an offensive gesture (take right hand make a fist. Extend middle finger. Extend thumb. THAT'S WV If you still can't find it on a map then maybe you should stop smoking weed)

see it now?

Its not like we didn't just set 6 (count em) BCS Bowl records, by beating the ever loving shit out of Clemson.

Ouch That's gotta hurt!

and Apparently it also doesn't matter that we were the only people that even thought that WVU had a chance of beating Clemson, according to ESPN.

previous rude gesture seems appropriate now

So on behalf of every Mountaineer, I propose we push through a bill in the Congress to rename "Virginia" to "East Virginia". That way there can be no confusion that there is this little odd ball state that loves to burn couches.

yes we love our moonshine. No there aren't just 15 last name for the million people that live here. Yes it really is Wild and Wonderful. anymore questions?

On behalf of every Mountaineer (and even those weirdos out in Huntington the Herd) I leave you with this classic piece, that you really need 100 friends an a lot of beer to sing properly.

Empty Words?

2012-02-02T11:20:00.002-06:00

The war in Afghanistan fares poorly. And yet we have given our word as a nation that we will not abandon them. Yet as the days continue in the War, and more lives are lost, and we are more than ever becoming aware that this has been going on for a long time. And yet there is so much to be said about the fact that we have the "shame" of Vietnam still hanging over our heads. April 30th 1975, when Saigon finally fell, was the first time the US had ever really been perceived to have "Lost" a war. I would argue that we didn't lose but, for all effect we pissed away 58,000 American lives, in the belief that the South Vietnamese people deserved the same freedoms that the people of the US have.

The difficulties of Afghanistan are compounded by the fact that we are working against a culture that doesn't really understand, nor endorse our concept of "Freedom". Even our own concept of Freedom has never remained the same from generation to generation, so how could we possibly hope to simply give it to people to whom they could have no possible frame of reference? In our ventures not only in recent years, but going back a long way, the American people always see themselves at the Paladin. The paragon of Virtue, that has come to do right. One of the main reasons the Civil War was so awfully bloody, is that both sides firmly believed they were in the right, and though History has castigated the Confederacy their acts of valor, are no less heroic, or American, than those of the Union.   In that war both sides were Right, and both sides were Wrong.

Now in this war we face an even larger problem. We desire to give something that can not be smelled touched, heard, or seen. Only felt. When you are Free, you feel it. It comes, *always* from within. This fundamental failure of perception has cost us dearly in our War on Terror, and its two main TO's Iraq and Afghanistan. We failed to grasp in 2004, and 2005 what a monumental thing it was that so many Iraqis voted, and fundamentally we failed to grasp the scathing irony that we could barely muster 50% of our own population to vote. We failed as a nation to give this War a larger context. Yes we used the stick, and quite effectively, but we should have been wary about how we used the carrot.

In my own experiences we gave ungodly amounts of money to sheiks. But buying their loyalty. Sure the "Sons of Iraq" thing worked out, but if we're really honest with ourselves that had more to do with them than with us. It was the Iraqi people, not the Americans who said "enough is enough". In Informational, and Propagandistic fronts we utterly failed to make this a struggle between what We (Us and Them together) could build, or they could let AQI, JAM, Badr Brigade, and the Quds destroy. By opening schools (and keeping them open) and giving children a reason to smile, we did more to take away the power of those ass hats, than if we had killed a million Jihadists.

Afghanistan, is not nearly as built up. In some of the best places they're living at least 100 years behind the times. In some of the worst, they're probably living 400 years in the past. It doesn't help that we don't speak Urdu, or Pishtu, or that the differences a mountain range make, can create almost a completely unique culture. Afghanistan was never a country as we would define it, and has never had a national history. Reminding them of the things the could take pride in would be problematic, because we would be in the exact same role as those they defeated (Alexander of Macedonia, and the Soviets for example). Even the Silk Road, which was vital in most of human history, bypassed most of Afghanistan.

So how do we win? How can we possibly win? Simple. You use the carrot. Work with them. Teach them new ways of building. Find Carpenters, and Masons, and Auto-mechanics, and work with them. Teach them things they never knew. Instead of simply giving them the tools they need, make them earn them. Start with having them build improvements for US bases, then slowly shift to building things for themselves. Find some folks that really need work and teach them about an assembly line. Not by shipping them to Detroit, to overwhelm them, but the same way Henry Ford did it. Build a base somewhere, have them build their own factory, with their own labor, and slowly work them into creating things themselves. If you have to work them, from start to finish on building (no shit here) a model T. We have to think like we are living in Henry Ford's time, when dealing with the Afghans. This is not 2012, to any but the most elite.

This does not have to be limited to manufacture, but is does have to be a widespread program, and you can't simply hand out cash for doing the job. You have to do something else as well, and that is leave them with the tools, but more importantly the know-how, and the sense of direction, that they so lack. Economics is just as effective a weapon against our enemies as it is a boon for our allies. Let us use this. If, we can do this in the easier to get to areas, say Kabul, and suddenly Tribe X is doing way better than Tribe Y, living better, looking healthier, etc, then Tribe Y is going to do one of two things. They're either going to dig their heels in (which they might all do initially) or they're going to ask what the hell Tribe X is doing that they're living so well. The end result Tribe Y will come to US and not the other way around.

The problem is that until we implement something like this we are pissing away money, and lives. There are many that are tired of it all. They want to pull out now. Given our own economic woes, why should we give a shit? The answer is actually quite simple.

Do you really think American Credibility will survive a repeat of this?

HOLY CRAP!!!

2012-02-01T07:08:00.001-06:00

I have traded a few e-mails with Laughing wolf, but I never in a million years expected to be posted in Blackfive! And here I thought I would be shouting to the Ether hitherto ignored. Things are looking up my friends.

the Ticking Time Bomb.

2012-02-01T07:01:00.001-06:00

Stop me if you've heard this one. A guy goes to Iraq, and comes back after much horror, to be just a little. . . off. Time passes and eventually he "snaps" causing a moderate amount of damage before being himself (and notice its always a Male in this narrative) killed. Chances are he was a Sniper a Ranger (though Qualified and this Tabbed or part of the actual Regiment is never clarified) or Special Forces. Somewhere along the way the Military turned him into a stone cold killer.

Raise your hand if you've heard that one. Go ahead. Chances are if you have heard it, you probably believe it to some degree. I mean they see some awful stuff overseas, why wouldn't they have PTSD? It only makes sense right? Except it really doesn't. First off you need to remember this ration 10:1. What does that mean? well for every shooter, in this case we'll call him an 11 Bang Bang (US Army Infantry) there are roughly 10 support pukes in theater supporting him. Beans and Bullets don't magically appear. Think about all the Intel, Commo, Medical, Quartermasters, and Ordinance guys it takes to support an Infantry Platoon.

So lets start with ordinance, Each rifleman carries 210 rounds basic load out, SAW and 240 Gunners significantly more. You know how fast you can go through 210 rounds? Less than a minuet. In past wars it usually took about 1500+ fired rounds for one Enemy KIA. If they're driving Humvees that's 6 trucks to a platoon, and they break down all the time. No mom and pop shop will do for these pieces of crap, so you have to have full mechanic shops able to do just about everything. Commo: each truck has a radio, that needs to be mantained, and have proper crypto key loaded each week at a specific time. If you have every team leader with a radio. . . and mind you we're just talking about support for an Infantry platoon, I haven't even touched Battalion, Brigade and Division staffs, Air Assets, and finance clerks. 10:1 is an easy ratio to remember, but in reality it's probably higher.

Well what does this mean for they Myth, well for one the number of people who have actually fired a shot fired in anger are going to be far far lower than you'd expect. True it's scary to be on a FOB, that gets hit daily, and you might get killed just walking to the chow hall, but for the most part if you were a FOBbit, you did light duty. Now outside the wire again, not everyone saw combat. Would you believe on my first deployment I never fired my weapon? I was a Medic, and my job wasn't to fight it was to save lives. I did patrols with dismounted Artillerymen, but NEVER fired my weapon (unless you count zeroing and qual ranges which I don't) That should tell you that not all sectors are created equal, but it should also tell you that despite the number of troops that deployed to Iraq (over 1 million) very few of them actually saw combat.

And what of this "ticking time bomb" after all Snipers loved killing guys, it's not too much of a stretch to believe they would clime to a clock tower and light some dudes up. One problem. Snipers never work alone. At the very least they always have a spotter with them. I don't care what you've seen in movies, a sniper without a spotter sucks. Infantryman, or the Special Forces super secret squirrel, doesn't operate totally alone. There are folks that can, but such are very very rare.    So the "Lone Wolf" goes right out the window as well.

All of this sadly forgets one pivotal part of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Its a trauma! Suggesting that someone suffering from severe PTSD wants to just cut lose and go on a killing spree is kind of like suggesting that a woman who was a rape victim, likes going into dark alleys in the hope she gets raped again. The main component of PTSD that is so terrible is that you are forced to relive, even subconsciously, the trauma that got you that way again and again and again. This can be incredibly painful. Believe me when I say I know. Most of the time you'd do anything to make the pain stop. Which is why you see a lot self medicate with alcohol or pills. But they want the pain to stop. Will they lash out? yes, sadly. When you're in pain don't you? If you have a wild dog that breaks its leg won't it snap at you when you try to examine it?

I can not stress enough. You can not buy into this myth. Yes if a soldier was an infantryman, he might have killed someone, but it is far more likely that if a soldier went to Iraq they were support. Allowing this old and outdated sterotype to fester will only further isolate the US population from its military. All throughout history, when the People of a nation divest from their Military, that nation is not long in falling.

Biases

2012-01-31T20:08:00.000-06:00

If anyone ever tells you that they are impartial, or unbiased, they're Lying. To you and, more importantly, to themselves (if they believe that). Id doesn't matter if you think Race is an issue, or a non-issue. If you you believe in one religion, or no religion,or a multitude of New Ageisms, you'll have religious bias. If you believe "All men are created equal" or "All men are created equal" you're going to have Political bias. One can not even talk about the subject of Sex, be it Heterosexual, Homosexual, or Donkey show, without bias not only creeping in, but dominating the subject. I hold this particular truth to be self evident.

And yet we as a people are expected to buy that well really any media outlet is devoid of Bias. I have heard Conservative bemoan the fact that for years the bias has been painfully plain and yet every time they point this out they are treated as petulant children. In recent years with the wild and quite frankly unqualified success of Fox News, the Liberals of America have been screaming of Conservative Bias. Indeed if we had a round robin right now and asked for opinions about the news, chances are depending on the political spectrum you fallow you will find a News Channel that suits what you feel is appropriate or proper.

Lets dispel this myth right now. Even when stating who what when and where, you can let Bias creep in. Lets say a woman is mugged outside a hospital last night around 10PM, and describes her attacker as a large black man between the ages of 20-26, who used a Knife to hold her up, and threatened [insert detail here]. Now right there you have a story that states who when when and where. The problem is how you report the facts. You could leave out that this was a large black man, and just describe him as a man. You could make it seem like she was in the hospital, or even leave out the details of the assault so it seems like she randomly gave money to a man holding a knife on her.

But there is a further problem. See with the 24 hour news cycle, and indeed, since the profession really first began, there's been this desire to help put the story in context. That's a problem. It was a problem in the Vietnam War, because, many reporters lead Americans to believe Tet was a huge success for the NVA/VC when in fact it was a total disaster. The same could be said of the Reagan years, and Bush the Elder's presidency. It would be hard not to argue bias in the Starr trial, and who can forget the 2000 election. as time goes on the biases become more plain, and those that promote them get more shrill in their denial of said Bias.

But, we need to know the news. We need to know what is going on in the world. How do we get our news without it being tainted by Bias. Well that's the tricky part. See any institution that tries to impose any bias laws from the outside will itself be tainted by Bias. That's why the so called "Fairness Doctrine" has been so thoroughly lambasted. Who is the arbiter of "fair"? If you give five minuets to a sane person about the idea of life on another planet must you also give five minuets to a wacko telling you how he was probed in the anus by Agent Orange and the CIA after being kidnapped by Glacknar the Space Alien? To be certain debate is not only important but incredibly vital to a free Republic like ours (I don't care what you say we are not a democracy).

So how do we cover a conflict like say the constant back and forth between Palestine and Israel. without a doubt if one tries hard enough one could make either side seem like a victim. The Israelis have tanks jets, and helicopters. See a guy throwing a rock at a tank and not assume that the tank is the bad guy? Show pictures of suicide bombings wiping out bus terminals and schools and how can you not want to wipe the floor with such people? There is no easy answer except to tell the whole story, as much as you can, and get as many sources as possible before making an opinion. This approach works not only for Journalists, but also for Citizens as well.

Lastly you have to remember that you are biased. That you Bias will color your decisions, and that this is not necessarily a bad thing. You Biases are based on your experiences, and are not always going to lead you astray, but one must always personally be on guard for the times that such a thing does happen. This is a vigil that only you can do. As I said before any attempt to do so from outside will only exacerbate the problem. No law will fix this problem. As always this is as much yours in both problem and solution.

Imperialism

2012-01-30T17:38:00.002-06:00

Imperialism. From Dictionary.com the definition is: the policy of extending the rule or authority of an empire or nation over foreign countries, or of acquiring and holding colonies and dependencies.

Now let's ask something here. Are we in fact, practicing Imperialism? Did the Global War on Terror, and its two main theaters in Iraq or Afghanistan create a colony, or "dependency"? Last time I checked we spent over a trillion Dollars so they wouldn't have to call on us for every little thing (to include radicals). Indeed despite "War for Oil" claims at oh so many protests, I have yet to see any evidence of actual you know war for oil. Oil was seen as a tool for economic recovery, and was thus vital to the Iraqi people, not the American. Had OIF been about Oil, well really how hard would it have been to station 150,000 troops around the oil fields and pipelines? We could have let the country fall into chaos while happily driving down the cost of Gas to $.50 and telling OPEC to kiss our ass.

How about Afghanistan. Are there any resources there worth plundering? Their women look like hell (probably because they've been treated that way) outside of the cities, you are almost traveling back in time, and in the tribal regions, one might as well be living 1000 years in the past. While one might argue that there is some great hiking, and picturesque views, we're not exactly trying to ship Outward bound to A-stan. What resources are there for us that we couldn't get anywhere else for cheaper?

Going back to the late 60's and early 70's there has been a charge of Imperialism by the Liberal Left. This charge, strangely would have actually had merit in the progressive era (the forerunner to the modern Liberal era of the Left), when Progressive Presidents, did in fact try to colonize the world. To understand this you'd have to understand that post Spanish American War, we were suddenly sitting on the Spanish colonies of the Philippians, Cuba, Guam, and a couple of other notable islands. Suddenly the burgeoning America had access to. . . well the entire Western (and parts of the Eastern) Hemisphere and most of the Imperial European powers couldn't say a thing about it.

What did we do? Turned right around and gave it back to them (this is of course after the Progressives left power). To my Knowledge, there are only 50 states. Even the Territories get privileges that Colonies do not (most of the time the support going from America to the Territories not vice versa. Ask yourself this, "what have we gained from the wars we have fought?" This Question is actually something that ironically enough is used by the same people who make the charge of Imperialism, as a barb against further wars, this is much like having their cake and eating it too, and it is a shame that more people do not call them out on this logical inconstancy.

So let's ask this question which is far more important: "Why do we fight?" The majority of the Wars that America has fought in are in response to aggression, the sole exceptions I can find would be OIF (the one example I can find of "preemptive war"), and the Indian Wars (but, even there, it was in response to perceived aggression). The Spanish American War the only war I could possibly see to support the charge of Imperialism (more for its aftermath than its beginning) Began because of Concentration Camps (yes it was in fact the Spanish, not the Germans that started that particular tradition), and abuses of the people. WWI, WWII, Korea even Vietnam, all in response to aggression, and despite a few extreme examples, there were no abuses by Americans that ever matched our enemies. Even in Iraq and Afghanistan there have been only a handful of convictions, and even those were questionable, and yet the abuses of our enemies are extremely well documented, if not reported.

Further the only time that there really was "Imperial" power in the presidency, during the Cold War from about 1946-1965, one would be hard pressed to argue that everyone under the protection of America, did not benefit (and greatly at that) from that protection. Can Japan, or Germany, France, or the Pacific, truly argue that we abused them as they would have to their colonies?

So then I would suggest this, America goes to war, not for profit or gain, as Empires do. Not even for the "Glory" of our nation do we go to war. Yes that may be the reason for an individuals to go, but not for us as a nation. We are unique in that after defeating our enemies we do not demand tribute. We are unique in that we do not demand payment for the wars. We are unique in all of human history, in that we fight for a non-concrete ideal. Because we have a deep and firm belief, that every person, every human being should have the opportunity, even the joys we enjoy. We can not point to any one thing that we have done to improve the world, only that the world has improved, more and more because of our influence not despite it. In Iraq, we sought to raise and create, our enemies sought to destroy. Now we have left them with the right to determine their own fates. Is this the work of Ceasers Czars, Kaisers, Emperors, or Empires?

It's always the little things that count

2012-01-28T02:35:00.000-06:00

So today I forgot my watch when going into work. It is easy to forget something you're always wearing, but today for whatever reason I wasn't wearing it when I left my apartment. Now I feel totally disorientated. It doesn't help at all that the store has a no cell policy, which means I'm back to reading analog clocks which, for some reason, my brain refuses to catch onto. This got me thinking.

It always seems to be the small things that really screw things up. As our technological abilities increase exponentially, we find that little things trip us up, and cause major disasters. Take the Spirit of Kansas. when they first rolled off the line each B-2 Spirit (the Stealth Bomber) was roughly $1 Billion a piece. Now to put that in perspective, that is roughly the same price as one Ticonderoga class Cruiser (CG), which is essential to the modern Carrier Group. One plane costs as much as a guided missile cruiser. Think about that. Now, the Spirit of Kansas was on a 4 month deployment to Diego Garcia, when it was taking its last flight out. About halfway down the runway it pulled up sharply (far too sharply) and stalled. This caused a crash. The cause of the error? Water droplets. I am not joking, a little bit of humidity on a few sensors took down a bomber that literally had almost every modernized nation in the world shitting its pants for two decades.

This is a pattern that is repeated again and again. A small piece of a spring and a fan inside an oxygen cylinder caused Apollo 13 to fail spectacularly. A $.75 O-ring took down the Challenger (our Second Shuttle). A small Block of Foam the Columbia (our first). A glitch on a decimal point being in the wrong place sent a Mars probe into too steep a decent and there went a billion dollars and four years of effort.

When the Boeing 757 was brand new a small piece of tape, caused a crash of an AreoPeru flight, because it cause the static sensors to be blocked. Pilots literally got Over-speed and Stall warnings at the same time (which unless you're in Bizarro world is literally impossible). Recently a Turkish Air Flight 1951, a Beoing 737-800, which was on auto pilot made to "flare" like it was landing, when it was still 500 feet in the air (and less than a mile from the runway), why did it do this? because the Radar altimeter said the plane was at -4 ft, so obviously the plane should be in landing mode, the result, was predictably, the plane quit flying.

Another great example was Aeroflot Flight 593 (Russia's National Airline) flight Aeroflot had just got some shiny new Airbuses (A-310 in this case). Now there's an interesting feature that none of the pilots knew about. If you push on the column in a certain axis for a few seconds you'll actually disengage the autopilot. . . In that Axis, on that control. Only. So the pilot proud of this brought his kid up to the cockpit, to show him around and predictably the kid tried to make a turn. Only the turn kept increasing. Another interesting thing, once you get past a certain degree in bank the autopilot disengages entirely. Can you imagine what happened? The copilot was knocked aside, unable to reach the controls because of a wild maneuver, and a kid was in control of the plane. Amazingly they actually managed to recover, and the Captain returned to the controls, just in time to cause another stall. Another interesting feature, that people forgot to tell the pilots, Airbus planes have an auto correct. If you stall you're supposed to (assuming everything is working right) take your hands off the controls and let the plane fix itself. So the Computer tried to correct the stall, and the pilots tried to correct the computer. . . which caused actual stalls, and wild banks, and climbs, before finally. . . well you get the picture.

But one could apply this principle to more than Aviation though. Look at say computers. One small fleck of dust when they are being made, and the whole thing is really expensive junk. In fact the clean rooms where they make microprocessor chips, has to be 1,000 times cleaner than an operating theater. You think your mom was anal retentive when she told you to clean your room? try scratching your nose in front of an OR nurse after you "scrubbed in". You will be escorted out, forced to re-scrub (to include using one pack of Bernadine scrub brushes per finger) a process which will take you a at least 1/2 hour. And the place they make micro chips is cleaner than that.

If you remember the Y2K scare, it was actually based on very real worry that suddenly it would show that people hadn't paid their bills in over a hundred years. You laugh now but imagine if every American suddenly got a "100 years past due" notice on all their bills. Automatic interest rates would kick in and pretty much everyone's credit rating would have sat at negative numbers.

Even in biology, it will most likely not be the big things, like Fire Flood and Famine that will get us (well, not all of us) but what will really be our undoing is less than one tenth of a nanometer long. A virus (or bacteria in the case of Y. Pestis). If you're worried about the one you say in that Hollywood movie where you bleed from every orifice, don't worry, it's not likely to happen, those (rather thankfully) are very temperamental, and actually delicate viruses. They're also very quick at killing their host. You really don't have time to run around say coughing on people, feeling sick, but still mobile. With Hemorrhagic fever, once you start getting sick you go down hill fast. No it'll be Influenza. The cough that kills.

It would be wise for anyone going forward to remember, that we may do great things. We may conquer the stars, and colonize the oceans, but in the end the more big things we do, the more the little things we take our eyes off of will make those big things fail. Just as I was disorientated without my watch at work, so too would you be disorientated (sometimes fatally so) when that little thing that you don't even think about, finally catches up with you. This fact of life is only exacerbated by the fact that we can not afford to know a little bit about everything anymore, there is too much to know. On some level you have to trust that the other guy did his job right. The only way that you can ensure this in the future is to do yours right. Remember attention to detail and maybe, just maybe the little things will not bite you in the ass so hard next time. Then again maybe not.

Fairness, Equality and Other Buzzwords

2012-01-27T12:03:00.002-06:00

I watched the President's State of the Union address the other day, and there were a few moments that stuck out in my mind, aside from the general impression of extreme disbelief. The beginning and end, were actually points that I had desperately hoped that a president might actually get, that Military members are indeed the best of society (most of the time). That they recognize race is a non-issue, and that society should try to emulate this attitude.

There were parts however that he talked about taxing the rich. The words "fair share" were used. Its kinda interesting how certain buzz words are used whenever suggesting things people really don't want. So before a Zombie jumps on here, I'm not for "tax cuts for the rich" I'm for "keeping all tax rates as low as humanly possible" so please do not get on that vein. So let's ask "what is a 'fair share'?" The maximum tax rate is 35%. That doesn't sound like a lot, until you realize that's just federal taxes. How much do you think that State Taxes jump that one up? If you have State taxes at the same rate that takes the tax rate over 50%.

How is that "fair"? You could throw numbers out there, but there are some tax brackets that pay no taxes. I agree its not a good idea to make someone struggling to have to give up their pay check, when those few dollars could mean the difference between a skipping meals, and just barely squeaking by. But the problem is it's not Government's place to make sure those people get a leg up. Indeed the very idea that your income is immanent domain is something that is slightly abhorrent. but further to that, rich or poor the tax rate should always be the same, why? well there's this thing called "equal protection". See you can't punish (or tax) one group over another. I don't care how "progressive" you feel on the face you're violating the law.

But further to that so called "Progressive" tax rates are actually doing anything but creating progress. It reminds me of a scene in the book Atlas shrugged. Well after Wyatt Oil goes up in flames, Dagne Tagart comes across a "tramp" and asks him to go to her personal car. There he proceeded to tell his tale, and as Rand has lots of exposition in this book, its one of many (many) long speeches. See he was at this company called 20th Century Motors, when the old owner retired and gave the company to his son. They had this wonderful idea about paying people based on need, and having them work based on ability. The problem is that people who were good at their jobs got worked to the bone, and people who could lie the most, got all they wanted. In short order people became liars cheaters, and really the worst of their human nature came out. After a while you couldn't pay someone to get a 20th century motor. All the while the manager had a thousand copies of a magazine lauding his progressive plan. Now you can see this story in microcosm is exactly what happened to the Soviet Union. So the real question one should ask: Why on Earth should anyone want to be progressive?

There are some feel good reasons, but all these reasons lack any logic behind them. In the end every single so called progressive initiative will fall short of its goals. Why you ask? Because it always ignores human nature. Need and Abilities are never linked, except as a motivator. When you need, or want, it will motivate you to go to the best of your abilities, not the other way around. So in the processes of being "fair" we end up creating people that care nothing of fairness or anything of the sort.

But what about Equality. Well much like the George Orwell book "Animal Farm" some people have become more equal than others. If you are, or have lived a decently well off life and happen to be white male, then why on earth should you need help? Indeed you should give up your opportunities to those less well off. Equality. Ha. The president got one thing right. Soldiers do not recognize race in promotions (though there are some Generals that track as much) you ar promoted based on your merit. Why do civilians do otherwise?

And equality between the sexes. . . Can anyone seriously argue that men and women are the same? is it in anyway fair that a decent looking women gets into clubs on "ladies night" for free but a guy has to pay $5? Or that a woman can get drinks for free, have doors opened for her etc.? Is it fair that men are always expected to act a certain way? Accept it or not there's a reason that we act that way. The pay issue as well has a reason behind it. Why? Well compare and contrast the actual degrees women and men get. Fashion marketing vs. Business. Teaching vs. engineering. Which do you think would pay more? Now add taking a few years off to raise kids ( still a common practice). Is it any wonder that when you stack all men up against all women, the women seem to earn less? You put a woman up against a man and give the same general career choices and their pay/promotion rate is about the same, but you'll never hear that in a State of the Union.

So is there really justice to be found in "Social Justice"? Is there really any Progress in Progressiveness? The answer to the first is clearly a no. The answer to the second is another question: Progress towards what? The State of the Union sounded good. But really in the end do you think there was any hint of truth to the main body of the speech? His "accomplishments" are laughable, as are his warnings not the exact same warning Conservatives have been sounding for years? funny.

When GEC's attack.

2012-01-24T18:21:00.001-06:00

If you've been to college you've had to suffer through a GEC. a class almost completely contrary to your major. Getting a degree in business? You better have a class in art appreciation (how exactly do you teach someone to "appricite" art?). Getting a degree in Biology? You'd best get a class in geology. Getting a degree in History (like me) you need a class in Dance. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

Yes there are a ton of classes you must face. Now I understand the whole "broadening of horizons" but if this is not in some way advancing a goal then it looses importance, and relevance. Am I going to dance? I never had ability or desire to dance, the only time I have graceful movements is when I was a soldier, and those movements were not about bringing people together. So why do I need a dance class? The fact that it's not even a class you actually do anything seems all the more insulting.

Now I understand that there will always be a need to "broaden" horizons of young men and women, but given that each professor is clearing close to 100K a year, and working at most a few hours a week. . . is this really nessisary? Further, while I could see a strong need for such a class with anyone wanting to get a degree in dance, or teaching dance or even theater, I can not see any justification for someone that wants to learn about any other subject.

Even when it comes to exploring cross cultural imagry, and such, there comes a point that you have to ask, very seriously what the utility of the knowlege is. When you have people who take a class not because they want to, or because it might be nessisary to build on further knowlege (say Organic Chemistry to Microbiology), but because someone said arbitrarily "this is the least painful of your options" you tend to see people who neither listen in class, nor give a shit what is being said/taught.

One can make a (strong) argument that buisness and econ have utility. One can even argue that Geographical classes have utility. I can agree that classes on world religion as well are important, if only familiarization. But I'd argue against sociology, and psychology. Why? Because they're "soft" sciences, their theories being little more than buzz words, and feel-good theories, if you actually take time to debate them a lot of those theories fall apart. At some point, does anyone bother to stop and ask these tenured professors "hey are you teaching anything useful?" If you can not honestly say yes (in one paragraph or less) then obviously your tenure is not something the University should be paying for.

What makes this whole situation intollerable is that many of the professors that do teach these classes that do not advance a degree path, or are ancillary "broaden your horizons" classes are the very teachers who spend all their time trashing America. I had a history professor who was all about the progressive movement, however when I made a clear an cogent argument to the contrary he did not grade me based on what he taught, but rather the strength of my argument. Would you believe that I got an A- in a class where I challenged the proffessors every assertation? Why? Because history is one of those subjects where debate is not only important but vital.

Do you think I would get that from a Humanities class? Believe me I tried. It did not end well. When she got to Vietnam, and the Hippies, I firmly stated that the ignorace of the Hippies was almost worse than them spitting on soldiers as they came home.

"Spitting on soldiers? That's an Urban ledgend" says she
"BULLS**T" Says I "I not only know, personally know, soldiers that were spit on, I have documentation of same"

The class got quite a bit uncomfortable from there. There was one of those rail thin artsy chicks with the giant bonnet woven by Jamacains (or some such) and all sorts of "i'm unique" patches on her backpack. She jumped in after about 30 seconds when I ascerted that not only was Tet '68 a major US victory, but that the Cambodian Incursion, should have happened 5 years earlier, and shouldn't have stopped where it did. You can imagine how insenced she was. This child of a hippie, new age yuppie, launched into a tirade about how wrong the US was to drop bombs on "innocent" people in Asia, to which I responded the VC and NVA were far from innocent. You can imagine this debate getting a little heated on both sides (and one guy being like "dude chill out man it happened like a long time ago")

I wrapped up my case, after wasting most of the class, by stating that while the Vietnam War was poorly thought out by the Johnson administration, and had to be fought during a draw down for Nixon, the South Vietnamese were worth protecting. That it was wrong for US Citizens to give aide to the enemy, and that the Communists were the worst sort of evil since Hitler. That as an OIF Veteran I felt that the cultural importance of the Hippies was vastly overstated and the damage they had done to our society vastly understated.

I won't repeat what was said after that. But needless to say I left the class, and even though it was too late to drop the class, never went again. I got (and deserved) an F. I can live with that F. But I still need to take a psudo-artsy class. Hense the Dance 101: Intro to Dance.

So why this rant? Because I want to advance on my degree path. I'm sick and tired of plodding along in thes fucked up bullshit classes. As such I also question when people are having to choose between a gallon of milk and a gallon of gas, why the flying **** are we paying a kings ransom to teachers who do little or no work? If we get rid of a lot of these pointless classes (and teachers) how much might the university save? How much would the Student save? You see now why I'm pissed?

Zombie Or Free Thinker?

2012-01-23T10:41:00.000-06:00

Zombies are everywhere. Not in a George A. Romero sort of Living Dead, I'm going to eat you sort of way, but if you ever watch a (Night, Dawn, or Day) of the Dead, you'll see the same shiftless gait and lack of higher brain function in would be political activists. They even, in a metaphorical sense, seek to consume you, if not so literally, their aim is to "infect" others, thus increasing their numbers to the point that even a shit load of guns does you no good.

How can you spot these people? They might be your friends, your family, even your dog! Well fortunately for us the Political Zombie makes himself known. They want you to join them after all. Pick a socially divisive topic, doesn't matter what, say how Obama is doing as a president. One of three things will happen 1). he/she will shrug and give a response like "meh". 2). He/she will go on a rant, about either he hasn't done enough or will fall all over themselves to attempt verbal fallacio, do not expect many actual facts here, but undoubtedly some great talking points. 3). They go into a rant about how he and his cronies are corrupt and not only selling us down the river, but expecting us all to smile while he does it. Here you should expect a few good talking points perhaps a few well documented facts (that have become talking points)

While one most certainly has more independent thought than the other these are typical responses we expect and sadly they are the responses of Zombies. There is a fourth far rarer response and that is of the educated individual who seeks to broaden horizons. They will respond: I support/oppose [insert issue here] because [insert reason here], and will follow up with well reasoned arguments for their position. This it the oh so rare Free Thinker that *most* of the Left's Zombies claim to be.

To say the FT's of society can not have passion is to do them a disservice. They can get very passionate, but again they have firm reasoning on their side when they do. The FT does not like dramatic displays, but doesn't mind when proven *dramatically* right. But where the FT really rises above the Zombie is the ability to admit when He/She is wrong. How many times did you hear "hey hey LBJ, sorry for calling you a baby killer. We really don't agree with this whole 'Vietnam' thing, is it really worth fighting for, could we maybe find some other way to resist communism?" actually if you heard that chanted I would be freaking shocked.

The Tea Party, tends not to chant, but they are not immune to Zombieism. Because they're so good at spotting I'm sure CNN and MSNBC highlighted (numerous times) all the Zombies they could find in an attempt to paint the larger movement as a largely Zombie movement. It hurt the general cause of fiscal conservatives (note: key emphasis on fiscal). But really with all the charges of racism and plain backwardness you'd have thought that there would be reams of evidence on the subject. There are just a few examples (Birthers are a great example) of people who are as bat shit crazy as they are portrayed to be.

Now let's look at the Anti-war (pick a war) movement, Pro-choice, Occupy Wall Street, etc. Lots of chanting going on there isn't there. Lots of talk about what you shouldn't do, and what a nasty person you are if you do. When it comes to offering new ideas, or solutions to current problems. . . well only OWS has even made an attempt at such, and their answer is simply put to throw down the system. Ok . . . and replace it with what? Their ideas on how to "fix" everything are couched and book-ended by fluffy terms that make us all feel happy about it, but if you actually listen to many of the proposals there is either an expectation of something from nothing, or far more horrifying making something into nothing. All the while we get to see the fruits of a truly progressive society, and what we see is a society most of us want nothing to do with. Even Leftist senators and representative are starting to get fed up (which is actually quite ironic).

You can see that Zombies (despite all attempts to state otherwise) tend to gravitate more towards the Left, than the Right. This is not to say that there are not FT's on the Left. Nor, is it to suggest that FT's are always morally correct. Lets face it, if there are puppet masters, they will be the very few FT's, those who enjoy the freedoms they use Zombies to take power away from others. Even the "meh" crowd has FT's who choose non-involvement as a philosophy over actual apathy. In the end the FT's will always live better, and in a way freer than Zombies, who are by their very nature chained.

Left or Right, Male or Female, you are an individual. You can choose to be a Zombie, but unlike George A Romero's Zombies there is actually a cure for Political Zombies. That cure is to stop what you're doing and really examine what the hell you're advocating. Some people have actually done so and "come in from the cold", this tends to happen a lot when one has a family (though sadly not always, which sadly spreads the infection to the children). Being a Free Thinker, is never easy. Indeed in some cases it can be quite painful to admit the error of your ways. It also means that you must place upon yourself a constant vigil, to ensure that your thinking, though influenced by others is not controlled by others no matter how charismatic. The painful part of being an FT is knowing that you must always stand on your own. Your thoughts and beliefs are and will always belong to you and you alone.

People always say "Freedom isn't Free", while there's unbelievable amounts of truth to this simplistic saying, they should have added "Or easy"

The Soldier Without a Face.

2012-01-22T06:12:00.002-06:00

It was December 2004. My brigade, 2nd Brigade 25th ID, had been in Iraq for almost a year and we were due to go home soon. I was assigned to Charlie Company 225th Forward Support Battalion, and as part of Ambulance platoon, part of a two man ambulance team assigned to FOB Gaines Mills to provide ground evacuation, and medical coverage. Gaines Mills used to be a palace for Chemical Ali, and was pretty nice for Iraq. It had a peach orchard, many buildings, and lots of room to run around in. It was early morning and I was asleep having been on watch that night. I was half asleep when a runner from the Bravo Battery 2/11 FA TOC came running into the Aid Station.

“We need an ambulance to Cold Steel Base Now!” he said. He didn’t shout or scream but his voice carried through the Aid Station.

I reacted quickly. My senior medic already dressed threw on his IBA, grabbed his K-pot and weapon and ran out the door. I was shortly behind him. I threw everything on as quickly as I could, and ran to my ambulance the engine started on my FLA just as I got out the door. I normally drove but since Eggs was already in the drivers seat I ran to the TC side and as soon as I closed the door he gunned the engine and we drove like a bat out of hell to “Cold Steel Base” where Charlie company 1st Battalion 27th Infantry Regiment was set up.

As soon as we got there, the company’s senior medic Specialist Ells, came to the TC door, and told me to get in the back. I wanted to argue but that wasn’t the time. I ran to the back of the ambulance opened one of the doors and made a jump to get in. Seeing as the doors ere at throat level and I was wearing my IBA and ammo (an added 60 pounds +/-) I had to do a kind of jump and roll to get in. As soon as I closed the door, Eggs started driving off.

“What have we got?” I asked sitting on the little bench in the middle of the back portion, and peaking my head through the hatch to the drivers compartment.

“they say one KIA one WIA, but we’re not going to take their word on the KIA, get ready with Airway, we may have to tube this guy”

“Got it I called back”

Eggs was silent. I spent the next few minuets preparing the left (port) side lower berth to take the most critical patient, and the other side to take the least injured. We were only 10 minuets away from FOB Warrior, and the engineers had been hit just before the traffic circle we usually went past to turn into FOB warrior, so we got there in about 7-8 minuets. Eggs went over a median, and stopped. I looked out the drivers window just in time to see the Dust-off bird flare for its landing.

I turned to grab my Aid Bag, which was always kept in the back of my Ambulance. Ells opened the door and grabbed one as well, handing it to Eggs, who ran off to the injured soldier.

I was momentarily annoyed the ladder wasn’t pulled down but jumped out of the back and ran behind Ells towards where a Humvee sat, it had obviously been hit. It wasn’t an up-armored humvee, it was a cargo, that had had add on armor kits put over the wooden panels in back where the troops sat, and had an Armored door add on kit. Neither had done this particular Humvee, or its occupants a damn it of good.
As I got closer I could see one of the panels which had been secured with a rachet strap, and looked pretty heavy had been nearly blown off. The sight in the middle is what caught my attention the most though. A body. Right leg bent back behind it, and obviously dead. His back was to me, and he was slightly at a diagonal angle away from me.

“why did they throw the body in the back like that?” I thought.

I didn’t stop running but everything seemed to slow. Ells got there first, and log rolled him towards us. To my dying day I’ll never forget the sight that I saw then. From just below his eyebrows, down to the very beginning of his trachea was just. . . Gone. Anything recognizable as a face, all the skin, nose mouth eyes, it was all hamburger. The skin along his cheeks were just little flaps of skin, and curled forwards as if trying to cover up some part of this sight. I stared at him, for I don’t know how long. Before a tall soldier came up behind me. I saw him come out of the corner of my eye, and he just started crying, and practically screaming.

“No. Oh God no! Please God No.” He grabbed the fallen soldier’s shoulder and shook him, looking for a sign of life. The platoon sergeant and two other men came over and pulled him away. He was crying and screaming and they actually had to wrestle him to the ground.
Ells turned to me and said “get a stretcher and a blanket.”

I didn’t bother to argue. I ran back to the FLA, and pulled out one of the collapsed stretchers, as well as a blanket form a blanket bag in the compartment just behind the forward hatch. I ran back to Ells with both, and together we got the poor soldier down to the ground and covered the top of his body with the blanket. The Platoon Sergeant came up to me and pointed to the soldier who was still struggling to come over.

“can we put him on the bird?”

I don’t know what I said. Psychological casualties aren’t strictly supposed to go on birds, but it seemed like he’d have to go somewhere. I’m pretty sure I said something like “stand by”
I turned my attention to the fallen soldier and ells got another two people to carry him over to the FLA, whose doors were waiting. Open. We raised him up, and put him feet first into the Ambulance, but one of the tie straps got caught up on the center bar and the litter started to collapse. I got up there and fixed the problem, and kicked the bar so the litter would stay open. When they finished sliding the soldier in, I was about to hop out, when his squad leader came up

“I need his sensitive items”

I waved him up and he came up and he started feeling in the soldier’s cargo pockets, and asked me to help him search for his NVGs and a radio. I pulled some of the ammo pouches open, then lifted his right hand, which promptly bent back and touched his elbow, as if he had no bones in his for arm. I dropped his arm, and raised up my hand. The Staff Sergeant and I looked at each other, and shared a moment of revulsion at the task we had to perform.

The search continued for a few more seconds before I found his NVGs.
I was done with this. I wanted to get the hell out of the back of this ambulance, but then Ells came up and said I had to ride in the back till we got to FOB Warrior. I wanted to say hell no. I wanted to do anything but sit in the back but I wasn’t about to say that. I just nodded. And got back in. They closed up the back and Eggs got back into the drivers seat. Sitting on the seat I looked at the Soldier’s boots, As we started driving they nicked around as if he were taking a nap. In fact, because the light was dim in the back I almost convinced myself that he was just asleep. But every time that thought would float to the surface, it would be crushed by knowledge of what his face looked like.

I tried to pray. It was all I could do. For 10 minuets I sat in the back with the body. I tired hard not to look at him. I tried to pretend I was sitting with a fellow soldier while he was just taking a nap, but then I’d think of the rubbery way his arm had felt when I’d lifted it. It was a very long ten minuets.

Finally we pulled into the Ivory Combat Clinic at FOB Warrior. Eggs drove around to the back, where you were supposed to take expectant casualties. As soon as the doors opened I leapt at the chance to get out. The battalion Chaplin came over and prayed over the body, and I left to go to the bathroom.

When I got to the crappy little trailer where they had the bathrooms I found a toilet and threw up the breakfast I’d had a few hours ago. I spent a few minuets dry heaving too. When I was sure that I was done I got up and left. Ells stayed on FOB Warrior, so I got to drive back to Gaines Mills. For a long time I tried to pretend to sleep, but in the end I just stared at the wall. So close to going home. So far

The cough that kills...

2012-01-22T04:06:00.002-06:00

A few years ago we had a (highly overblown) scare with H1N1, so called Swine Flu, which, rather predictably, started in China. Despite a rather laughable response from the federal Government, it hit America just a little harder than seasonal Flu. One could make the argument that this is because we were all scared out of our gourd and (over)reacted in a typically American way. I would argue that it had more to do with the fact that despite the fact we're rapidly all becoming Fat Asses, we are perhaps the healthiest nation on Earth. I would argue because of Capitalized medicine not despite it.

Be that as it may, the H1N1 scare was one in a series of scares. SARS, Bird Flu (H5N1), etc. Again these originated out of China (I see a trend here). And again once it actually got to the United States wasn't nearly as bad as it was hyped up to be. This is both good news and very very bad thing. The good should be painfully obvious. If we had hundreds or thousands of people dying fo flu every other year we'd all be in deep shit, both as a planet and as a nation. The bad news is that we've lived through these "panics" and they turned out to be nothing, so, when the real deal hits, at first there will be extreme disbelief, and then when the reality sinks in that it is already too late. . . panic. Like you wouldn't believe.

Now take the movie Contagion. As movies about Viral outbreaks go, this is one of the best I've seen so far, but suffered from the fact that it was trying to tell three distinct stories, which would have very different views on the crisis. The first is that of Matt Damon, trying to deal with his wife and stepson dying (and the resulting chaos in his life) the fear of losing his only remaining family and the chaos in society that followed. The next story is about the officials, and their response (trying to come to terms trying to find a cure etc) and lastly the Nutjob, loon, the blogger that has his theories about how things are (and the damage he caused). One could have told the story of the outbreak for each angle, and made three separate (and all very good) movies, that had intersecting characters. Trying to tell them all together lead to a jumble, that failed to pain the larger picture of what would happen. So let me take them one at a time

Matt Damon: ok first off the chances that a person would be "immune" to something like this. . . slim. I understand the plot device, you need someone to wander around, a sane head in an insane world, but. . . wrong. His reactions to learning his wife died, accurate, and his actions towards his daughter, also accurate. After that though he is supposed to be the sane observer in the insane world. Lets face it an actual Army cordon for a quarantine like that is going to be a bit less civil. And by the way if he was afraid of leaving his daughter alone, and afraid to go out and shop (for good reason) at what point did he scrounge/loot? His survival at first unlikely. His continued survival with only breaking a few property laws. . . freaking impossible. One last note. I don't care if "blood serums are difficult to make and expensive" if Matt Damon were immune, they would bleed that SOB dry to figure out why he was immune.

The Official Response: Yeah the DHS guy was acting just how you would expect (and quite frankly demand) DHS to act. He asked a rather dumb (but necessary) question "could someone have Weaponized Bird Flu?" The answer is just as important, but perhaps more horrifying in actual implications "someone doesn't have to the birds are already doing that". In truth any airborne virus is going to spread like a brush fire, and containing it will be next to impossible. But a lot of what was shown from the official end was pretty close to what you would expect. Even the bit about a doctor warning his gf in Chicago to get the fuck out of dodge before the quarantine, (and her being the ohh so good friend and telling another friend who she swore to secrecy. . . who then told everyone else, getting Lawrence Fishburn in really hot water in the process) is something you would expect to actually happen. The efforts shown are pretty accurate of what you would expect (except for that WHO epidemiologist. The movie could have done without her completely). The problem is that they didn't show enough pants shitting "OH MY GOD THIS IS REALLY BAD" moments that would have happened. Also they failed utterly to show how things would have broken down in the pandemic. The infrastructure would have been utterly gutted.

"Alan Crumwoody" the insane blogger who is all about the "truth" talks about a homeopathic "cure" that in reality doesn't do shit. People believe him, because he was the first to break the fact that this was going to be a bad bad situation. Well his cure is shit, people are desperate so they panic and try to swarm pharmacies (I especially like the part where the woman asks a guy to cover his mouth when he coughs and he says "go to hell"). I have no doubt that such a person exists. When the eventual plague hits, there will be people like this charicter who spout insane theories (the Drug Companies made this disease) and will impair the real doctors ability to work, and advocate "cures" which may well be counter productive. Such people will only add to the panic when the Pandemic does actually come. For that reason alone he should have gotten his own movie. . . So people will understand that guys like him ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED.

What the movie didn't show: Panic. Not a few scenes. I'm talking about people being in pants shitting terror and literally taring towns apart. You didn't see desperate people (most of them sick) trying to charge the quarantine lines. This would happen. Soldiers would have to fire. Its not pretty but this is what will happen, the Soldiers shouldn't be depicted as bad guys (as in The Stand, or Outbreak), just guys stuck with a really shitty job that MUST BE DONE. If you talked about that, you'd also have to talk about the 18 YO Kid who in a fit of compassion let a sick person through, and doomed another city. Social order would also break down, and getting any semblance of services would be next to impossible. The throw-away lines about Nurses striking. . . again so much more you need to say here.

I want to leave you with this. Despite concocting a novel virus (both encephalitic and pneumonic) what was depicted (both in communicability and lethality) is actually being extremely generous. 30%. . . We would be very lucky if we had a pandemic with only a 30% mortality rate. That's what Smallpox sits at. Variolla Major (most common form of Small Pox) is not a good thing to have, and you're likely to die from your skin being compromised, that is of course if you have supportive care. That's assuming its Variolla Major (Variollia Minor sits at 15%) but there are actually two other types of Small Pox that are rarer (considering there hasn't been an outbreak since '79) Flat Small Pox sits at 80% and Hemorrhagic sits in at a whopping 90%. If you're on your own. . . well you're not exactly feeding yourself or getting water when you're at the height of the virus. If there were a virus that could cause encephalitis and pneumonia even with supportive care you're screwed. If there isn't brain damage from the swelling, then there will be brain damage from the lungs not getting enough oxygen. That is assuming someone is feeding you/giving you fluids, and if, as it appears in the movie, to cause febrile seizures. . . that's a triple whammy. Dead Dead and more Dead.

The ending, was even more unsatisfying in a way. There was a nice little Hollywood nod to Environmentalism (see you cut down this forest hand have pigs in huge pens you get this Environmental Justice to the Rescue) and Corporations being Evil, but what you don't get, and should have, is: Holy shit 50+ million people are dead. Think about that. The one thing I wish such a film, and really any film that talks about such a thing, would harp on, is that this thing will spread. It will spread fast. We are so interconnected, that within days on the outbreak starting, it will literally be everywhere. Don't think you can get into the hills, when things get bad. By then its already too late. You and, really everyone can save lives, if you are prepared, and if you STAY CALM. Foolish, panicked action when the Pandemic does eventually hit, with only exacerbate the problem.

When you talk about what "they" should do

2012-01-20T20:13:00.001-06:00

Stop me if you've heard this one before, "they should pave the roads better, these roads are ridiculous." $5 says you've probably made a statement just like that. What exactly you said doesn't really matter you wanted some unseen entity probably the Gub'ment to come in and fix shit. Chances are this is not limited to roads either. Violence in Mexico? They should send troops to the border (which actually happened) to prevent that. Health care cost too much? Well how do you think we got the Abortion that lived that is Obamacare?

What's worse the average citizen demands that issues X, Y and, Z be fixed but never bother to suggest how, or bother to check up on the follow through. What results are laws that are not in keeping with any semblance of American Values, Morals, or even what common sense dictates is practical. When you bitch people listen. That the people that listen are in a position not to be directly (not even closely) affected by said laws tends to show exactly why you must watch what you bitch about and to whom. Lastly do not assume that when these laws ARE implemented that your best interests are at heart.

If you don't check up on issues, if you bitch and moan about an issue then they throw out a bill with a catchy name, that *seems* to solve the problem... How can you complain when they start slipping other things into the bills? They pacified you. Why should you care that you lost your liberty in the process? Babies are now safe from Earthquake Induced Shaken Baby Syndrome!!! Even if the whole house falls around them.

Environmental legislation is another knee-jerk place where men make not only a fool but a damn fool of themselves. Take the 70's. Then we were worried about global cooling. So worried in fact we (no shit) were about to implement a plan to put black reflective sands on the poles. Fortunately cooler heads (pun intended) prevailed. Same could be said for Ethanol. Remember how it was going to save the planet and it HAD to be at least 10% of car gas or we'd all be doomed? Turns out it REDUCES gas milage and, surprise surprise turns out that extra oxygen molecule creates more (that would be the opposite of less) CO2.

Republicans are not immune to this either. What is that drum beat they always sound? Reduce taxes? It's great for private sector growth. . . Unless you forget to reduce spending. Unfortunately since the New Deal and the Great Society, you CAN'T reduce spending unless you don't mind spending years trying to undo the damage of even talking about curtailing social welfare spending.

So whose responsible? Which they should we (more specifically you) blame? While one party mor than the other is responsible for our current woes (here's a hint they're acting like jack asses) the truth is the "they" that you should blame is the person that states back at you in the mirror.

You complain to your leaders, and demand things then don't bother to read the "solutions" posed unless someone with an iota of foresight calls them out on it. You fail to demand accountability. You fail to oust Representatives and Senators when they treat their office as God given right and not a position of servitude. I understand, your busy, life is a mess. Bills to pay. All that. But unless YOU stand up and demand ownership, this country will cease to be By Of and For the People. So instead of asking "what are THEY going to do about it?" ask "what am I going to do about it?"

A happy Birthday to a true Southern Gentleman

2012-01-19T10:35:00.000-06:00

Today is Robert Edward Lee's Birthday. Among his many accomplishments was to be the first cadet to graduate West Point without a single demerit (they give those out if you're boot isn't polished right, it's almost impossible not to get one) His ample command of Engineering and service in the Mexican American War, as well as his most notable feat, single highhandedly keeping the Confederacy alive through 1864-65.

Happy Birthday General.

Forgivness is not easy

2012-01-19T03:08:00.001-06:00

To this day I have yet to meet another man that has been broken up with during sex. Having said that, I do not think it is unreasonable for me as a man to be completely and utterly perplexed by this. How did this happen. Why? To this day I'm still puzzling it out. One second everything is fine the next WHAM! curve ball gets away from the pitcher and now you're seeing stars.

Was this negociable, whas there something I could do differently, when had this descision been made? Answers I would rightly deserve and have yet to recieve. It does not help that this is a woman I've know my whole life and was deeply in love with. Perhaps the last woman I can honestly say I was in love with. The next day we had breakfast like aquantences. We might as well have had a meeting about the layout of an office.

It did not help matters that apparently my mom knew and completely understood why she left me. Apparently she knew all along that this would happen and was under the assumption that it was mutual. I'm here to tell you it most certainly was not. Why did she leave me? Well according to my mom she really wanted to get married. . . ok . . . and as a (then) 26 year old with two tours to Iraq, I didn't? Actually I was planning on it. I didn't have the whole plan fleshed out but yeah I thought that was it. I'd hit a home run. Apparently not.

What efficiencies I might have, I'm not entirely sure. No one's told me, and as time has gone on, I have simply shut people out. I wanted to ask for time. For patients, for help even, but that never happened. Then things got worse. in my second semester at WVU that vile group of scum sucking tabloid wannabes Wikileaks, released the "collateral murder" video. It was not a good thing. I had flashbacks and was in a state of near panic. How I would have killed, or chopped off my own arm if She had somehow come to me. I waited over a year to date again. And the little dating I have done since then could well be called a train wreck. And still this pain persists.

I am now 28. I have prospects but those prospects seem to have more problems than I'm willing to admit to anyone (even myself sometimes). She just got married. I feel deeply betrayed. When I think about it there is that small voice screaming in my head that it should have been me. What has he that I do not? Have I not earned it? Didn't I prove my love? Worse than that I lost one of the last people I can actually turn to.

Last summer I went home for two weeks, and it was a mess, I was stressed out, bills were high, and I was in sorry shape. While visiting my Grandparents I slept in the same room, in the same bed no less that my dad did in his final days. Sitting in a decent reclining office chair (the only decent chair for said purpose in the house) I was leaning back in contemplation of the extreme bills, and how everything depended on me getting a job that like all others is just impossible to predict (pipe-lining is not a way that allows for easy planning) I was stressed out and trying desperatly not to think of how screwed I was. Then my Aunt came in and said "you know that's the chair we found him in" Even the position no less. I waited till my Aunt left then bolted outside. I felt. . . dirty wrong, I felt soiled, and all the things that had been bothering me came to the surface.

In more emotional turmoil than I had since perhaps 2008, I texted Her. Told her the whole thing and how messed up I was. . . . I couldn't tell you what I texted. I can't tell you what my state of mind was, maybe I just wanted to her her voice. Maybe I just wanted someone to tell me that it was alright, but. . . no. I got a call from her new man. I hesitate to call him boy toy, because he actually is an Army officer, and even if I view him as a Jodi, that is respectable. Whatever his name is (don't ask I never bothered to find out) he called and was very sincere that he understood that I was having a rough time. He actually talked to me man to man which I could respect and didn't state or threaten anything, but it was implied. Don't call or text her anymore. Just like that I had lost one of the last people in the world I felt truly safe confiding in.

Once. A long time ago I visited a fortune teller who read my palm, and told me that fatherhood would be very important to me. She told me that it would happen sometime *roughly* after next year. But now as I try to move on, the hurt, the emptiness She left me with, have given me an inability to trust the fairer sex. Even when I know they love me, I keep them at arms length. How can I forgive someone I'm still in love with? Still from the darkest corners of my mind I hear the words of Mecrutio, a plague upon your houses.

It is a question I will grapple with for a long time. How do I forgive this devastating blow, that I can't even understand? If I could not see it in someone I knew like the back of my hand, how could I possibly not expect it from a stranger? Does any woman honestly expect me to just be fine after all I've been through?

The bitch of it is, the most important questions in life, never seem to have an answer.

First Formation (again)

2012-01-18T08:30:00.000-06:00

For the first time in over 3 years I was in an real actual Army formation. It was for a dinky little 1 credit pt class, but at the same time, it was so good to return to familiar ground. Old habits came back and if there was frustration that the gentleman leading it was perhaps a little slow on the uptake, and the civilians in the class were clueless, it was all mitigated by the fact that I was, in some small way a part of the Green (though for some reason we don't wear Green anymore) Machine once again.

This re-affirmed my desire to join the NG, and to make sure I become an officer. I am going to have it all. Even if the road to get back in is longer than I anticipated.

Bradley Manning, the Benidict Arnold (Rosenburg, or John Walker Lynn) of our time.

2012-01-16T22:30:00.000-06:00

Treason. Its a word with frightening connotations. It raises up the most foul parts of our minds, it raises to the mind men who hide out in the night and do the most foul type of betrayal. However there have only in our history been 12 people ever tried on treason. Even if the dictionary definition of Treason doesn't match the legal one, we are nevertheless susceptible to such things. In the information age, betrayal becomes far more calamitous.

How much damage could be done from classified information? A lot. Take the 12 July 2007 incident, where Bravo Company and Mortar Platoon of 2-16 Infantry came under sporadic fire from insurgents. The Apaches circling from overhead part of the 227th Aviation regiment, engaged valid targets (3 times), according to the Rules of Engagement. Unfortunately the second time, the target in question was actually not a military target. In the process a journalist was killed, as well as a family. Now this is a sad event in a lot of ways. It was, however, not unknown. Indeed the information about the incident (general details) were made available to anyone that wished to find out and indeed Washington Post Author David Finkle had written about it (see "the Good Soldiers")

The Video itself was not shown for rather obvious reasons. Its one thing to hear that people were killed. It quite another to actually see it. In an information war, it is very hard to maintain the fact that we are the good guys when every misstep or even when legitimate military goals are called into question. Indeed our enemies are not anywhere near under the same pressure to never ever ever screw up. This is a microscope that is not on Soldiers, but on all of the government. State Department is one of the many departments that was included in this data dump. Can you honestly think of anyone more petulant than politicians? Even the politicians held up as model, when truly examined, leave much to be desired.

How much damage was done by trying to "shed light" on the "truth"? Well when actual informants are named my name, and location. . . Quite a lot. Add to that the fodder it gave for Jihadists, and it killed credibility a serious issue. This credibility is something that has steadily been declining since Vietnam, when we cut and run, leaving our friends and allies to the whims of our enemies. The result was a lack of credibility. This was repeated again and again when we did not keep our word to our friends. We left the Mujahadeen to their own devices after they won in Afghanistan in the late 80's. They slipped into the Taliban. How could we have avoided that, and possibly even turned Osama bin Laden into an ally. In Iraq in '91, we heavily insinuated that if the Shi'ia in the south and Kurds in the North rose up, we would support them. They did. We did not. They were slaughtered. The same could be said about Somalia in October '93, we cut an run, and out regional allies took a beating for it.

Can you honestly say that this is in anyway in anyone's best interest? Secrets are, rather unfortunately, a part of statecraft. Far from hiding it, we admit our mistakes. But what Manning has done is far from admitting mistakes, it is like a gossip tabloid accusation. does anyone deny that War is ugly? Confronting such truths are difficult, but it is not entirely necessary to force feed people such images. Worse the decisions made in combat are such that you can not understand them when not under threat. What makes sense when you are in mortal danger is not the same as if you are safe and sound.

With that in mind Manning has given up the "fort" of vital national importance. That this fort is not an actual location is of no importance. It is information, that provided for whatever reason has been used by the enemy. If, as it seems to indicate, that he did this for petty reasons that makes the offense all the worse.

Bradley Manning's Article 32 hearing (the hearing to determine if he should go to full Court Martial) was entirely bizzare, with his defense council throwing out all sorts of things. He is sexually confused, so he couldn't understand it was wrong to betray his country. He showed signs of being unreliable, so obviously he should never been trusted in the first place. Why did one person have so much access to so much information in the first place? His lawyers have tried to blame everything under the sun other than PFC Manning. Rather than raise reasonable doubt, they try to blame and excuse everything.

We are left with a legacy of a gaping hole in our national defense, and a little piss ant that wanted to get back at the country, for what it is not entirely clear. People are calling him a "hero". Do such people know heroism? People call him a whistle blower. On what exactly? Did any of the information he released involve anything that a person could not find the general details of, if they actually did any serious digging? At what point do you admit that what you have is not heroism but rather a vindictive little shit that should get nothing more than a boot up the ass.

PTSD. From Rambo to Every Former Military Man turned Criminal how you've all gotten it wrong.

2012-01-16T14:16:00.000-06:00

Do you remember ADHD? It was perhaps the hot button diagnosis in the 80's and 90's as a child I took so many tests to confirm that yes in fact not only did I have a short attention span (in some areas) but also that I was remarkably good with abstract reasoning. Now throw in hyper and yup thats me. But was I just a kid, or was it really this mythical monster of a syndrome that made me somehow incapable of preforming in school? Chances are that I was just a kid that didn't really know his place in the world.

I was stubborn so obviously I had Oppositional Defiant Disorder (I guess I am an ODD one). At one point I had Aspburgers, and Type C Dyslexia. I think there were a ton of other things I was diagnosed with as well. My point in this is simple. If you'd read half the reports generated about me you'd assume that I was probably going to light the school on fire or something. But if you met me as a child you'd have met a bright and naive kid who was generally a bit too eager to please. I can not begin to guess what effect the myriad of drugs used on me might've had and who I might've been had I not taken them. Where would I be now?

My parents loved me. They wanted me to succeed, and sadly like every age they were susceptible to quack science. We laugh now about the turn of the century when it seemed like a good idea to run electricity through a copper bath full of water, but at the time people really thought that was a good idea. So to in the 80's and 90's were we susseptable to the drug fueled obsessions with fixing brain chemistry.

But PTSD is different. It is not something that is caused by genetics. It is caused by events. Powerful events that would *normally* leave a person quivering in fear. Some people think that it is because the adrenalin spikes so high, when afraid that is causes memories to be sharper. For whatever reason our responses to traumatic events has elicited the same response from society as Electricity, and ADHD before it. Namely that Quacks everywhere want their $.02 heard.

Now the popular depiction of PTSD (before we ever really talked about it) was Rambo, who went nuts and attacked a corrupt sheriff and his deputies and turns a town into a war-zone. I have no doubt that if a Soldier really desired to destroy a town they could do it (not alone, and with one M-60, but they could do it). For most of the movie he's being chased for no apparent reason until they push him too far then he turns into this thing out of your nightmares, able to kill with little or no effort while toying with you. Great movie. And people miss the most important part of the whole thing. Namely the last five minuets.

You see horrific things, and it really really hurts. Men you knew were killed. You enemy, your friends, Death which seemed to be everwhere and nowhere, and always, always, Fear. It is poorly understood by people, how bonds can become so strong, in war, that little can ever compare, and how fragile a person can be when those bonds are shattered. Nor can they understand the sorrow. Sorrow that can strike at a moments notice. You weep for the dead, and the youth that was lost, both theirs, and in a selfish sort of way, yours. Once you were young and whole, and now struggle daily with bitterness.

It is also clear that people by and large do not understand the anger. People seem to think that every Veteran wants to harm them, or will cut loose with their anger, but actually most of the time they desire to be alone. Their quick tempers are not really directed at anyone but more a statement. "I am angry at the world for the injustice that forced me to fight" is something they might well say. I know its what I say. Even the alcoholism and addiction to drugs that is prevalent is easily explainable with this simple truth: they don't want to feel so much pain anymore.

Further to that, despite their ability to go all free fire mode, and start killing everyone they see, that is actually the exact opposite that most people that suffer from this want. More than anything they want peace. Not the kind that hippies blather on about, but real lasting peace, the kind that comes from within. Tormented as they are, by their memories they're far more likely to commit suicide than any act of violence. The very perception that they are killers that want to go hog wild is actually part of what keeps them so isolated. Audie Murphy, one of this nation's greatest heroes, became addicted to sleeping pills, and always had a separate apartment built into the house he lived in, for when things got to be too much. If it can happen to him do you really think it can't happen to you?

Lastly the Flashbacks and Nightmares. I would ask you this, do you day dream? Do you ever think of things that have happened to you? Do memories pop unbidden into your mind? Chances are you said yes to all of these. Now, try to understand when excessive levels of adrenaline are pumping through your system, your perceptions (and memories) become far clearer. Imagine the sharpest memory you have, now imagine it sharper and clearer. So clear you could almost live in that memory, and you might understand what its like to have a combat memory. Your memory of a lover, a teacher or a dog will trigger when you see a familiar sight sound or smell. Why do you think the sharpest clearest memory possible to a human would be any less? And if the night is a time for the subconscious to roam free as it were, don't you think the most powerful memories you literally can not get rid of, might cause your sleep to suck?

The real tragedy is that because there are so few people that have served, and because the public has largely ignored the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, these men and women are far more isolated. Only Vietnam veterans were as isolated, their isolation more because of scorn than because of their disproportionately small portion of society. They are further isolated by stereotypes that both Hollywood and the News Mediums perpetuate. The idea of the animal in a cage, waiting to loose his rage on the world, is something that will keep far too many Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans from seeking the help they need and so deserve.

You get what you (don't) pay for

2012-01-15T18:09:00.001-06:00

Real quick, why do things cost so much now a days? Is it because of greedy company men? Or what about the fact that they pay their staff peanuts. It seems one could make a very decent argument that the cost of things is a sign that our system has failed. One problem. Our system that people who are not jackasses pay into. . . Is supporting all the jack asses that say "gimme" and get. Let's take Walmart. Do you know how much money each store loses per year? On average about $30,000 a year.

Think about that for a second. What do you think you could do with $30K? Now multiply that by thousands, because Walmart is ubiquitous. Walmart Inc. Is literally losing MILLIONS. Keep in mind that Walmart is doing a better job of providing services to the poor than our own Government. Now ask yourself if each Walmart store is losing on average $30K a year (most of that in Electronics and Cosmetics) how much you think Best Buy, Maceys, Sears, and just for shits and giggles, Victoria Secret loses. I'd be willing to bet the figure nation wide is in the Billions.

Now ask yourself who pays for that? If your a consumer... You do. That money has to come from somewhere. You can't take a hit like that and stay in business. Imagine that billions of dollars a year went back into the system? I don't doubt for a second it would be sufficient to at the very least quell our financial woes. The same principle is applied to healthcare. Ever wonder why an IV filled with salt water (that's all Saline is) costs $100? You and another person ate paying for three bums that didn't pay. It applies to Auto insurance. Pick anything. I bet there's cost built in for people that don't pay.

With this in mind it takes a certain sort of crazy to even TRY to contemplate how the Government acuires and spends Tax Dollars. How much do you think is built into THAT system for graft? It makes you really start to understand the scope and scale of our problems. Problems which are aided by not our enemies but the same folks we are trying to help.

In the end you can do little to nothing, be a welfare queen, baby mama king, and still live a comfortable life. You can lie cheat and steal and *sadly* make it for a time. Unfortunately in the end your crimes (whether wit a small c or a big C) are not and never have been "victimless". Sure you say it's Walmart (or the gub'ment) they can take it. They can, only so long as the cost of your pilfering is passed on. Ultimately you victims aren't only existent, but everyone in this country. Congradupations thieves. You're officially the biggest Dick in the country.

When Caveman Responses Don't work.

2012-01-15T12:05:00.000-06:00

My computer is going so slow that it is nearly impossible to write this entry. Unfortunately according to "Geek Squad" at best buy it is a sign of components failing, and perhaps that my computer is about to take a nose dive.

I guess this might be because I have been beating on the laptop every time it fails to work. I need a new computer, so I briefly looked while I was at Best Buy. Well the nicer one I looked was about $600. I guess it doesn't really matter that it may be months before I get that much saved up.

Well if you don't hear from me for a long while You'll know my faithful computer which has been with me since the Surge, has finally fallen due to old age.

Are you a Something or a Someone?

2012-01-14T02:00:00.001-06:00

Are you Gay or Strait? White, Black, Asian or Other? Male or Female? Are you a Soldier Fighter-fighter, Policeman, Office Worker Tattoo Artist or any of a myriad of professions? Are you Liberal or Conservative? Are you Christian, Jew Muslim, Hindi, or Atheist? Chances are there are a ton of things you use to identify yourself. Any number of adjectives could be used to describe an individual. We do a lot of things that define us, these are all Things. Things own, Things we are that define us.

"I am a [insert group or description here] man/woman/other"

these statements are all about who we are as we present ourselves to others. Does it have to be that way? Barney Frank is all about being Gay. So are a ton of other people. But what about Jody Foster? She's pretty well clear that she's Gay, but its not WHO she is. The same could be said about Neil Patrick Harris. Anyone that's seen any of the Harold and Kumar movies or How I Met Your Mother can tell that though he's gay its not Who he is, its something he happens to be.

The same could be said about race. Look at Jessie Jackson, or Maxine Waters. Believe me there is a ton of things that they feel are important, mostly that Black men and women are getting screwed, and more often than not its your fault. Now look at Allen West. Here is a Lieutenant Colonel in the Army, his career is long and illustrious, which ended when he made a call under extreme stress, a call that if placed in a similar situation a lot of arm chair generals, despite saying otherwise would probably have made the same call. Now he's a US Representative, and despite being a "Freshman" has managed to elbow his way to the forefront of a lot of policy matters. He also happens to be a Black man.

See the difference? What you are is not Who you are. I was a Soldier. I know how powerful it can be to be a Something. That Uniform defined me. I did not want to think of life outside the Army because being a soldier became who I was. It doesn't matter what label you choose to identify with, what role you fill in your life can easily become your defining characteristic. When something gives you purpose it can easily become your purpose.

Perhaps America could best solve its problems by first solving its outlook. We run around looking for things to define us. How about we just be. Instead of trying to say "I am [insert something]" Say simply "I am [insert name]" All the rest can come later. Remember these things are What you are, not Who you are.

Here we go again.

2012-01-11T20:12:00.000-06:00

Amid talk of reducing the DoD, and counter talk of a "Hallowed out Force", we get Iran making waves. They recently threatened to attack if the US moved a Carrier into the Gulf. This threat is somewhat laughable when you consider that Iran was never a really power when it comes to Naval forces, though they have recently come to our hemisphere to conduct joint exercises with Venezuela (another country that absolutely loves us) . Now the US is sending a Carrier group to the Arabian Sea. The USS Carl Vinson (CVN-70) the same carrier they dumped Osama off the back of, is now headed to the Arabian Sea

Now we are all used to saber rattling. This is something new. See normally the Saber rattlers would back down *eventually* because they could be certain if they actually provoked the US we could or would bomb them back into the stone age. Iran knows that on the stocks we have now, we have the capability to do so, but they do not believe we have the Will to do so. Further our own government is hobbled by debt, and unable to steer a course though.

Where does that leave us? Do we dare back down? Certainly there are more than enough assets in country that you don't need a carrier off the coast (which has to fly through Pakistan) to provide Close Air Support (CAS). But a Carrier Battle Group is one of the things that is one of the more visible pieces of foreign policy. Its like having a Queen on a Chess board, she can go anywhere do anything, and most certainly can ruin your day if you're not paying attention.

Sometimes they carry Nukes, their support ships are enough to make a bad day for any surface threat, and can be detached to prowl, a couple of 688 (Los Angeles Class) Submarines could ruin a surface ships day. As of yet the Iranian Navy does not have anything equlivant to a Carrier Battle Group in firepower. So its a no brainer to us at least.

So what is the Ace in the hole? Why are they certain they can manage this threat? Its a question we should be asking. We are always certain of victory. But we ought to start questioning this more and more, with the drastic cuts made, one must wonder how long our winning streak will continue.

Intellectual Cowardice.

2012-01-11T00:49:00.001-06:00

We all know there are cowards on the Battlefield. Men (and now women) who give into panic, selfishness or sometimes simple greed, to leave their jobs, or avoid the danger (or responsibility) of their profession. We have seen, in recent years a small smattering of such men that have, like as in Vietnam, run, and gone up to Canada. We know of these men because the Liberal Left, and aging hippies hold them up as paragons of heroic virtue, but really most of us would have no clue who these people were otherwise, nor would we really like them much. Indeed CNN was all about Abdo Nasser until he got caught trying to bomb Ft Hood.

Now you can make all the arguments you want, the point is that before he went AWOL, he had Kiddy porn on his computer and refused to deploy. He had lots of Anti-war folks supporting him, and rooting for him, then he gets caught trying to throw a Jihad on our asses. Heaven forbid we should ever look deeper into that. Indeed apparently Major Nadal Hassan, who young Abdo was trying to emulate wasn't really on a Jihad, he was just committing "Workplace Violence". It makes one wonder when there IS a reason to question Muslims about the extreme violence.

There is such a thing as Intellectual Cowardice. It is when a person faced with Facts, Experience, and Logic, refuses to admit they are wrong. This can be anything from Communists, to the FLDS, when you ignore things that tell you you're failing miserably, or that your whole philosophical viewpoint is leading you to ruin, then you are a coward. Time and again we are always given clear indication of when things just won't work and we tend to ignore them.

This is not limited to simply Economic or Cultural matters. For instance there are a ton of people who believe very firmly that we have never been to the Moon, or that 9/11 was an inside job. Such people will point to minutiae, and totally ignore the more obvious and glaring facts. One person said that there was a C-130 in the area of the pentagon when it was hit, and posited that a cruise missile was shoved out the back. Never mind that you literally can't launch a cruise missile that way. Or saying "why aren't there holes where the wings went in" or perhaps "why aren't there more pieces of the plane" which would make sense, unless you counted for the fact the aluminum, is rather fragile, and indeed flammable. Don't believe me, take a soda can, throw it into a fire, wait ten minuets and then try to fish it out. Its like paper. I could talk about the force involved when flight 93 barreled into the ground at almost 600 MPH, but that would be beating a dead horse.

This cowardice is perhaps the worst kind, because it is a cowardice that will often lead others astray. You can have all sorts of great arguments for or against something, but in the end your efforts will be doomed to failure if you are not prepared to admit when you're wrong.

Modern Academia is perhaps the worst offender. How many young minds are filled with all sorts of thoughts and philosophies that their professors espouse? Being in College I see it all the time. Young eager impressionable minds given all sorts of bunkas, about any number of subjects. One teacher I had even tried to sell me on the idea of a centrally planned economy. I haven't really bothered to debate them, because my grade depends on their good will. Pissing them off tends to be costly to my continued success in classes.

I think its fitting to leave you with this thought. It comes from an EO NCO for my Brigade in Hawaii. "Challenge your perceptions or they'll challenge you". Sound advise, and one that I think Americans have failed to do for too long.

Shutterbug Pt II

2012-01-09T04:32:00.001-06:00

Everyonce in a while I am able to excrete some good pictures. I know they're not as artistic as some would like, but really I'm a shutter bug. The nice thing about digital is that you can take a ton of pictures and developing costs are essentially nil. Bad thing. . . sometimes you just don't get the same feel. Don't really know how to describe it.

Also I ought to not the Cannon XSi I got has one slight flaw that is actually a rather large one when you think about it. The 18-55 mm lenses that came with it originally doesn't have auto focus. Now looking through the viewfinder, and even through the LCD screen on the camera, you can't tell that the whole thing was totally out of focus. Which actually sucks in a lot of ways. well that's enough for tonight I have class in a few hours. cya.

While you were at work

2012-01-09T00:30:00.000-06:00

I make no secret of the fact that I work at a Walmart. Actually its not so much a secret as a truth I would rather not admit. Well today and yesterday were pretty big games as far as importance go, and apparently they were also bug games in their awesomeness. The Falcons got a saftey, which is all they got, the Saints crushed the Lions, Tebow deliver the Coup de Gras to the Stealers Playoff ambitions (in one amazing play) and I'm entirely sure I'm missing someone in there.

But my happy ass was at Walmart. I was "Zoning" and "putting out features" oblivious to the awesomness that was going on. I get that its a Job I get that I have to support myself but for the love of God, I have not gotten to see one damn game in over a year. I didn't get to see the Mountaineers play this season, I didn't get to see the Chargers play at all, nor the Patriots, nor whoever played the Raiders or Stealers.

This is not new to me. I didn't get to see the 2004 superbowl. I'm told it was a good one. I missed it, because it happened to start at 0200 in Kuwait, and I had to be up and at 'em bright and chipper, ready to go for the Convoy up to Kirkuk. I don't really begrudge missing the 2004 Superbowl, or the 2004 season, nor even the '07 season. That was Duty. I get that. But here I am, in America and completely unable to watch even one stinking game.

I have come to the conclusion that while working at Wallymart I can go ahead and kiss my social live goodbye. I can also kiss away a large portion of the faith I once held in humanity. Why? Well. . . If I told you just how much of a stereotype (the worst kind of white trash sometimes) the customers are. . . you wouldn't believe me (or think me a racist). I have a rant coming about theft and touching shit that you haven't bought yet, but for now, it just blows monkey balls how I do not get to watch my god damn games!

17 July 2007 (2nd Platoon's REALLY bad day)

2012-01-08T20:29:00.004-06:00

“man I can’t wait to take a shower.” said Tiger
“Neither can I, you stink.” Lewis chimmed in
We were just waiting for the changeover to be complete. 1st platoon was going to take over COP security. All of us were assembled in the Gym/Mess/Aid Station/breifing room. Basically the largest partition of the downstairs part of the ice cream factory. It served as the multi purpose room close to the sleeping quarters. The nice thing about it was it was spacious, the bad part was that it served just a few too many purposes, and more than once a group of people would be engaged in one activity, say eating, while another would be working out, or someone would be giving a briefing while someone was grunting and straining on the bench press.

I suppose that there are some things that never change. Over the last few days we’d drifted apart, basically stuck on whatever shift we were on. One of the downsides of COP security was that you never really interacted with the rest of the platoon, and even the guy you were on it with (if you were lucky enough to be on a two man post) you didn’t really do anything but talk, and sometimes even that sucked.
So here we were all packed up, waiting for the word to put all our gear in the trucks. I was sitting on one of the benches that the engineers had made us. I was sitting thinking about how good it’d be to get some sleep, having just come off of a guard shift, which just so happened to follow a QRF call.

1st had gotten hit at 2400 on the dot. It blew the shit out of SSG Vera’s vehicle, though amazingly enough despite minor burns and a possible concussion on two soldiers there was no real injury. The TC side of the engine block was gone, pretty much ripped away. We provided security for the extraction, while the truck was towed back to base. I’d seen the truck when I brought 2-2 back to line it up for our SP, I also got some pictures, after all, despite the fact that it was a close call, there was a sort of morbid curiosity. It was just plain cool.
We had gotten back at 0200, just in time for me to go back on guard at north gate. So naturally I was tired as hell. I had gotten some sleep before, but not much. Still, by the end of the day, I’d be back on Rusty, and I’d be in a nearly freezing room, with all the Hajji DVDs I could watch. It sounded like heaven just then.

“I can’t wait for that Harry Potter to come out” said Tiger

“That’s some gay ass shit” laughed Island. “some little kid waving around a stick and yelling stupid shit, oh can’t wait for that”

“what It’ll be cool, I mean Sirius dies, and I even hear that the bitch from Fight Club is one of the Death Eaters”

“I have no idea what you just said” laughed Lewis,

BANG

“What was that?” said Island

“I dunno sounds like somebody hit the door.”

BANG

“hey we’re getting hit” said Jubi

BANG

“oh that’s nice.” I said detached. The rounds didn’t sound too big, and I was inside. There really wasn’t any place to go.

“Must be 60’s.” said SSG G

“Oh that so” I said again detached

BANG

“how many you suppose they’re gonna shoot at us?” I asked

“dunno”

BANG

“this must be their version of ‘fire for effect’” said Lewis

BANG

“well they’re not hitting anything, and this is a pretty easy target”

“no one ever accused them of being good”

BANG

I stretched out on the bench and closed my eyes. “wake me up when it’s over.” There were grunts of amusement. People sat and waited for the barrage to end, which didn’t last long. Two rounds that were not even close, later it was over. Though unlike the FOB we didn’t get the “all clear” announcement over the PA. It just kind of stopped and that was it.

It wasn’t long after the shelling stopped, that I heard a commotion over by the little corner that I had lovingly set up once long ago as the Aid station. I peaked my head up. A bunch of people were coming in clustered together, I sighed. Time to go to work.

I got up and headed over, to see Stern and OG 1st and 3rd’s medics and SGT Bouten. The one time team leader of 2nd platoon. He was sitting there with small patches of blood on his back, wincing and practically crying. I don’t think I could manage much sympathy for him. Honestly I’d seen worse after a rough night of sex. Stern was cutting his shirt off, and OG was getting the dressings ready.

“need any help?” I asked casually.

“nope, we got it” said OG

“ok let me know” I didn’t go back to the spot that I’d been sprawled out at though. I figured that it’d be good to see just how bad this was. As soon as the shirt came off I felt cheated. There were about ten spots in all and what looked like a minor burn covering most of his back. Most of the injuries were from thumbnail sized bits of shrapnel that had barely punctured the skin. He was bent over one of the cots wincing, trying to tell everyone that would listen just how it had happened, and how he didn’t even know he was injured yadda yadda. It actually irked me a little to hear him going on. What he had was a few scratches little more.

I could only take so much so, sure Stern and OG had it all in hand I went outside. Harrelson and some kid from 1st followed me out, looking for the impact sites. We didn’t have to look long for the first one. On the wall dividing the Ice Cream Factory from the Spaghetti factory (or the living area from the DFAC/parking area) it was a small hole, only half a cinder block was knocked out, and we could even see on the other side the hole in the cammo net where the Mortar round had come through.

The OB/exam table that CPT Brock had for some strange reason decided to send out to us, despite the fact that we’d told him that we’d just destroy it eventually, had in fact been partially destroyed or at least not useable for the OB/GYN function (not that we needed that) and the majority of the bed had been peppered with shrapnel. I whipped out my camera and took pictures and made sure that everyone knew that this time it was most defiantly NOT my fault, even though secretly I had wanted to rip the damn thing apart as soon as I saw it on the LMTV.
For the next twenty minuets or so Harrelson and I tried to find all the impact craters, but we simply couldn’t. I counted a total of three, which was odd because I heard a lot more than that hit. We both tried to guess what that meant but simply couldn’t figure it out, until I went into the CP.

I over heard some of the radio chatter as the SOG tried to get a BDA from all OP s. they all reported in that they were ok and no injuries, and that surprisingly enough most of the rounds hadn’t even hit our modest little COP. I am not a mortar man, and Mortar platoon wasn’t due out for a while, but I was pretty sure that it isn’t that hard to get six rounds in a 100x100 meter area. But then most of that wasn’t inhabited. They had ironically enough, under shot and hit some of the houses on the other side of some of the T barriers.

Having found out all that I wanted to know I shrugged and went back inside, figuring that the moderate cool of the living area, what with the twenty odd AC units at full blast at all times, was far preferable to the blazing heat outside or the cramped CP/office. I went back to the bench I had occupied, only to find Bishop there sprawled out where I had just been. I grunted and found another less comfortable spot. LT came out and told a half interested platoon that we’d have to wait till we were cleared. I suppose that having just been shelled. They didn’t want us to go out right away. I’m not sure how long we waited.

It was perhaps an hour or two before LT Came in and gave us the mission brief. It took only a few minuets and it was mostly a formality. If there was one thing that 2nd platoon was good at was pulling shit out of our collective asses. However it was important that everyone know the route. In the past people had been known to take the wrong road when everyone didn’t know the route (Jessica Lynch anybody?) The number of safe routs back to FOB Rustamiyah had significantly decreased since Craig died. We wouldn’t go through the mishtals, Fedalayah or most of the built up area between Rte Predators, and Outer Berm Road

Today we‘d be going through the “upscale“ part of Kamilayah, a less urban area where houses weren‘t jammed together in the crazy mish mash jig saw puzzle their architecture usually ended up becoming. It was a ½ Km section of almost rural houses set in a palm grove. Then we’d hop on outer Berm road, a raised up berm of a road that straddled a river before passing palm groves. The southern most end of outer berm road was usually not taken because of the IP checkpoints (a dead magnet for IEDs) and also there were also a lot of places that insurgents had been spoted. We never went sout of the old COP at the power station, but the week before we had made it all the way on outter berm to Pluto, so we’d try again today. We thought at the time it was better than running Predators or through the Mishtals.

Once the briefing was over we got the order to mount up. I grabbed my bags. One 3 day assault pack, my big aid bag, and a laundry bag. I suppose that I pack a little heavy, but the Aid Bag I have is something I couldn’t get away with, and I couldn’t put all my entertainment stuff in the assault pack that was packed with all the shirts and crap. I was going to be in 2-4, fourth vehicle in the convoy. Island would be the Driver, SGT “Old Balls” Johnson would be the TC, I was in the TC side dismount, and on the drivers side dismount was Bishop, Lewis was the Gunner.

It’s strange, but once the loading started it took almost half an hour to actually get all the bags into the trunk. The “Duke” took up a lot of room, but eventually we got it all in, with a little bit of jostling. The normal order of movement was 2-1, lead vehicle SSG Wheeler’s truck, and also our map guide, 2-2, SSG Beumont’s vehicle, with Harrelson driving, SSG Beumont TC, PFC Price TC side dismount, SPC Aetie, Drivers side dismount, and PFC Edwards the gunner. Behind 2-2 was 2-6, LT Hammel’s truck, followed by bravo section, lead by 2-4, 2-7 SFC Mays’ truck, today with SSG Davison TC, and 2-3 SSG G’s truck, and primary CASEVAC vehicle. However today we’d be taking an LMTV and a wrecker, that would tow SSG Vera’s destroyed vehicle. The wrecker went after 2-4 and the LMTV went after 2-7.

The engines turned on, and the sound of idling diesel engines filled the air. I stood outside waiting for the last possible second, not wanting to get in until it wasn’t an option. I always hated “sweating like a slave” as Island would say. The problem is that I had one tiny ac vent, and that really didn’t do shit for you when it was 130 outside. Gunners made their jokes, and people milled about until it was clear that it was time to go. One by one we all got in, and got ready to roll.

It wasn’t long before 2-1 started to roll out the south gate. Before we even started moving I was already in a half asleep state, I usually was in times like that. The convoys out and back for some reason were always so hard to stay awake for. I had my iPod nano playing in one ear, so I could still listen to the radio, and away we went. We took a slightly serpentine path, just so we didn’t make it too easy.

I dozed in and out of consciousness. There were points where I was very alert, and points where I simply can’t remember. I remember coming insight of the old COP. The power station. It gave me a small smile. I had a lot of good memories there. It was almost the half way point to Rusty. I suppose there are some places that stick out in your memory. It was perhaps three hundred meters past the road to turn into Riyassa that it happened.

BOOOM

“FUCK!” I knew it meant one thing and I already dreaded what I would find.

“2-2 is hit” called the LT

“Get me up there” I yelled at SGT Johnson

2-4 started to close the distance to the vehicle ahead of us, and instantly we tensed up, ready for whatever we saw.

“Dismount!” I heard SSG Davidson

I opened the door, and threw my aid bag on my back and grabbed my weapon. I sprinted once I got around the vehicle in front of me I saw to my horror that 2-2 was fully engulfed in flames. Already I could hear the insane popping of rounds cooking off. LT was standing by the Burn blanket, and saw me as I came running up on the scene

“Harrelson is dead” he said simply.

I veered right and went past PFC Hassibaf who was trying to put out the fire with a fire extinguisher, but at that point it was beyond putting out. I went to help drag SSG Beaumont down on to the lip of the berm below the burning humvee, to provide some cover from the rounds that were cooking off. I started to asses the casualties. By far SSG Beaumont was the worst. He had multiple punctures and lacerations, and at least one of his arms was broken., his left leg was oozing yellowish fluid, and I put a tourniquet above the highest wound. It was almost on his groin. His right leg wasn’t much better.

I quickly cut away part of his pant legs, to see what his injuries were. It was then that SSG Wheeler showed up, and started helping me with buddy aid. I directed him what to do and moved on to PFC Edwards. He had a large through and through wound in his left leg above the knee, it looked like he might also have some burns around his lose and mouth. I quickly put a CAT above the puncture, and moved on to PFC Price.

He was screaming in pain, blood pouring out of his right eye. The wound looked like it extended into his eye. Right there, I thought he was going to lose his eye. I called for water to clean out his eye, and once cleaned out it looked like it may have narrowly missed his eye, but I still wanted to bandage it up. I quickly pulled out a roll of Kirlex and a 2x2 and patched his yey then wrapped the Kirlex around his head, to keep it in place. I SSG Vera to stay with him, and try to bandage up his leg.

“You’re going to be alright Price.” I tried to reassure him,

“Doc how bad is it?”

“You’ll live.” I told him

“Give me morphine.” he cried

“Not yet. Hang on.” I moved back to Drew Edwards, and took a quick look at Aeti he gave me a shaken thumbs up, but I didn’t have time. If he wasn’t bleeding, or hurt, I simply didn’t have time, but I did keep asking if he was alright.

SSG Beaumont’s injuries were too numerous to list. He had a broken arm I’m sure, his legs were all sorts of fucked up, and he had a 1000 yard stare. He wasn’t tracking despite incredible pain. I did what I could from him and noticed yellow fluid leaking out of his wounds.

“Sergeant Beaumont?”

“Yes?” he asked dazed

“I can’t give you Morphine man, I think you might have a head wound”

“ugh” was all he replied. He would later ask at least twice for morphine.

I don’t know how long I was there I remember only flashes of it. I had run out of cravats so I used an ace bandage to make a sling for SSG Beaumont. I remember SSG Vera asking if he should plug PFC Price’s wound and I threw him some Kirlex and told him to do it.
I would only spend a minuet on each man bouncing from man to man. All the while the Humvee 2-2 was burning close enough to feel the heat. The popping as rounds cooked off sounded like the popcorn from hell, getting ever louder. The rounds cooking off were getting bigger, instead of a crackling sound like popcorn, it was starting to be a loud pop POP POP.

I remember hearing someone say “the AT-4 is going to go!” and I remember looking up right after a flare shot over my head. I was between March and Beaumont, when the AT-4 blew. I was perhaps no more than 15 meters away, and the explosion rattled all my hollow organs. Even dampened by the wreckage I felt the heat from the fire and the force of the blast.

It was almost an eternal moment. I just stared at the Humvee. Had that just happened? Had I just been that close? Was I still alive. All was silent, the noise of the screaming wounded. The smell of the fire, and cordite, all of it disappeared and I sat there staring at what should have killed me. I turned to look over my right shoulder, and there SSG Davidson was looking at me. He was 10 meters away at the bottom of the berm in the ditch but I could see he was rattled too. We shared a look. It was nothing more than “we’re still here.” and I went back to my work. I continued my work. Men brought stretchers to load up the wounded.

It was time to go, but first I had to plug PFC March’s leg wound. He had a through and though hole where a .50 round had cooked off and shot through his leg. I’d already put a tourniquet on, but, I had to plug that hole. Drew was already turned over.

“hang on Drew this is really going to hurt” I told him. I took a wad of Kirlex out and started shoving in the wound. Immediately he started screaming

“OH STOP!!! GOD DAMMIT PLEASE STOP!!!” his cries becoming more incoherent and piteous as I grit my teeth and shoved the kirlex in for all I could. I had to plug the wound but the pain it was causing him made me sick to my stomach.

When at last I stopped the rest of the platoon was getting set to load up. I tried to get Drew and SSG Beaumont in one truck and Price and Aeiti another. But someone told my Drew’s foot was broken, which I had missed completely. They loaded him up as a litter patient and put him in with Price in a second vehicle. I had to climb in at an odd angle because Humvees are just not meant for medical evacuations.

As soon as I was in the remaining humvees in Alpha section sped off down Outer Berm Road. Now that I wasn’t doing anything I noticed my hands were shaking. I couldn’t do any more for either Drew or Price.

“Our father who art in heaven” I reached into my medical rig on my chest, and took out a morphine auto injector “hallowed be Thy name” I pulled off the safety cap, my hands shaking “Thy Will be done” and held the lateral portion of Prices thigh “give us this day our daily bread. One one thousand two one thousand three one thousand four one thousand five. . . “I counted to ten before removing the auto injector I bent the needle and tried to put it against Price’s top, which had been cut open.

“forgive us our trespasses.” I took out another, my hands shaking wildly “as we forgive those who trespass against us” I held the auto injector against Edward’s leg and counted rapidly “lead us not into temptation.” I bent the needle and tried to put it again Edward’s shirt, his top long ago been cut off. “but deliver us from evil” The gunner called out that there were Sandbags in front of the Iraqi Police station. Sandbags were notorious for holding more IEDs or marking them. The Driver Espadas who was known for thinking he was a drag racer slowed down and was going to weave through the maze “Espadas if you get us killed I’m going to kill you!” I said
He weaved in and out of the Sandbag maze, though they were no more than one high, they were designed to slow cars. He could have gone over them but it was better just to avoid them. “for thine is the Power” he pulled right “and the Glory” and then left. “forever” he pulled right again “forever and ever” we were through and he sped down outer berm road. “Amen”

I repeated it one more time as we sped toward FOB Rustamayah. The lead gunner fired a couple of rounds across the MSR to get a clear path. The Humvees all sped down the MSR, and through the gates. They pulled in front of the Hospital, and the casualties were pulled out. I watched it all in a surreal way.

I took off my vest and K pot. Left my weapon in the truck and followed them in. I watched as they worked. It wasn’t as furious as they had with Craig, these men were nto going to die. The Battaion Commanded and Sergeant Major came down and watched as well. I’d had my fill and walked outside, that’s when it hit me. That thought that I had ignored for almost an hour
Harrelson is dead

I went to the nearest bunker and leaned against it. He had just turned 19! Spanky he liked to be called, because he looked like the character off the Little Rascals. The only other person I had known that knew what that show was. He was going to go to Bama and be an Engineer. He had a girl back home he was gonna marry!

I saw out of the corner of my eye my Senior Medic coming towards me, arm outstretched as if to comfort me. I didn’t want to be comforted. I took an deep breath and let out a yell. Of frustration, rage, pain or just the sheer wrongness or unfairness of it all. It was all of those things and none of those things, but I felt better when it was done.

The fact remained. I had lost another man. Another friend. We weren’t chasing some evil terrorists, or saving puppies from a burning building. We were just returning to the FOB for some well deserved time off. Hell of a way to fight a war.

Writting

2012-01-07T20:58:00.002-06:00

Every writer has a "style". Since I have never really been published per se, in printed form (I did get on This Ain't Hell) But That is neither here nor there. Since I think I have all of Zilch in readership I think it's pretty safe to say no one will ever read this post, and thus I needn't concern myself with people actually taking my advise.

If you're going to write here the biggest piece of advise I can give you, KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY FIRST. You can talk about "shit weasels" as Stephen King did in Dream Catcher, but so long as you *generally* know what the hell you're gonna say, you can usually excrete a good story.

Much like flying an Airplane you want to know where you want to be 5 minuets before you get there. Why? because if you try to decide you're not where you want to be when you're in that moment you've probably passed the point you're in trouble or you just crashed.

In the same way, the story has to flow naturally from you. It doesn't matter if its sex, violence comedy or literally you describing how good (or bad) your Coffee was this morning, know what you want to say!

I stress this point because I have really REALLY bad ADHD, so I can wander. Sometimes if you're writing that can be a good thing. you get lost in the story. I like to do whats called "free form" In essence I pick a direction and go. Sadly the very thing that makes me good at writing short stories makes me suck at follow through. I have two stories in the works. I've only gotten a few pages in either one, but really If I manage to get over a hundred on Word I'll be pleased as punch. I'll worry about "fleshing it out" later, and editing. . . well if I ever do get published in print form. . . I better hire someone for that.

so thats my advise for today kiddos. Take it or leave it. YMMV

Paul Bots

2012-01-06T21:16:00.003-06:00

I really can not stand Ron Paul supporters. For one thing they're as bad as Liberals when it comes to their idea of Truth (capitalization is not a typo) . See there's these things called facts. Neither Liberals nor Paulbots can be bothered with facts when there's the Truth! Never mind that they tend to be talking about things they have no real understanding of.

Take this charming clip for instance. Now there's a couple of really important things that are very wrong with this picture. I'll take them in turn but really in no particular order

1). The neck Tattoo. I don't care if it says "Jesus is my Homeboy" it is way, way WAY outside the Regs. Go look up AR 670-1. I'm not going to post the link here, because I know it will take you all of five seconds to Google. The skinny is where it is, is quite frankly unacceptable. it's unprofessional, and should be regarded as such.

2). Again AR 670-1 which governs wear of the uniform, you are not authorized to wear a uniform at ANY political event, because you are representing the Army. To the public you may as well have said "the Army supports Ron Paul" which it can not do because it has and remains sworn to the Commander in Chief, that happens to be Barrak H. Obama.

3). he was not on active duty at the time, so him going to vote at the time in his uniform is sketchy to say the least. But even if he had just rushed from the Reserve Armory, he should not have gone on CNN.

4). look at the comments. CNN apparently cut him off on purpose when he started mentioning Israel. . . WTF? Really? Seriously read some of the comments. Blame dem JOOOS! I kninda thought that the idea of a vast conspiracy of "international Jewry" went out with Mien Kampf but apparently not.

now you may take issue with the first three if you have never served a day in uniform. Some of the comments called him a hero for speaking out. I speak out all the time. No one calls me a Hero. .oO(must be because I say what they don't want to hear). Be that as it may, many of the commentators on this particular clip are really upset that the military is "silencing" these "brave young men" who we apparently need more of. That is fine if we want a military full of Shit Bags that can't find its ass from a hole in the ground.

I know this may come as a shock, but when you raise your right hand you lose pretty much all your rights as a US citizen. You fall under the Uniform Code of Military Justice, which can dictate pretty much anything. Desert in a battle and your CO can legally shoot you. Believe me that goes way beyond "silencing" anyone. These rules are there because the UCMJ is all about war, and War has to, by its very nature, have very different rules than civilian life.

These are all fact. Facts which shouldn't get in the way of Truth. Hence why Paul supporters are Idiots.

then there's this clip.

Chem trails. . . I suppose the fact that Airplane Engines are typically on the order of 500 degrees and the surrounding air at 40,000 feet is in the -20 range has nothing to do with it. . . I get the logical leap a 3 year old might make. Crop dusters flying low to the ground have no "trail" until they're spraying. Planes up really high have a visible trail that they don't have low to the ground er go. . .spraying. But that doesn't account for the B-17 formations in WWII

Or here

So again facts are so pesky.

Paul is so good at parroting Liberal lines with a smattering of Libertarian, really its a wonder the Republican Party ever took him back after he left in the 80's. What anyone can possibly see in his qualifications for the Presidency is beyond me, but then YMMV.

Happy Friggin New Year!

2012-01-01T04:20:00.002-06:00

2011 Sucked ass. There's too much that happened to detail right before I go to sleep, so I'll let Jib-Jab do it

Oh and by the way according to John Cusac, and the Mayans, we're all gonna die in 2012. YEEEHAW!!!

Korea, the Wall that no one wants to fall.

2011-12-27T23:22:00.002-06:00

The Korean War ended with an armistice, and thus, by technicality never really ended, not that it started "officially" for the US either. In the first phase of the war the Korean Peninsula was almost united twice. Once by the communists, and the Pusan Perimeter, and once by the UN forces right at the Yalow River. After the Chinese got involved, the lines went back to Seoul, then back to the 38th parallel, essentially where the war started. Unlike many of the Cold War's battles, it never had a satisfactory conclusion.

Much like the Berlin Wall, the DMZ in Korea was a scar across the land. It was a division across the land that divided once united peoples. Much like East and West Germany, once the walls went up, there was a solidification of the differences. When the Walls finally fell in Berlin, the East was granted access to the West, and all the benefits of a western society, full of on demand manufacture, a working power grid, and freedom from Soviet style "intelligence" services. The West got a mess it took over 10 years to fix.

There was also another legacy of the Berlin Wall. Once it fell, there was no way that communism in Europe could continue. No way for them to keep out the cultural and economic pressures that the West was so good at applying. Indeed the Soviets were already collapsing from the weight of their inadequate methods of manufacture (Ugo anyone?) their abysmal agricultural practices, and their social decay. The major question seems to be "why did it last so long?"

It has more to do with the fact that it was a stability factor. It prevented the Soviets from being Drastic and gave the West an easily defensible line of embarkation. The Soviets had to cross this line to start the War in Europe. The major powers of America and the USSR put pressure on their local client states to keep these divisions, because it was felt that it gave stability. If Germany had Unified in say 1960, what do you think would happen? the crackdowns nearly did force US involvement, and with Kennedy in charge, how effectual the Military would have been in such an intervention is highly debatable.

Well the cold war is long over. The Belligerent Powers have made peace, and Communism is actually rather like a joke on most of the world stage. Why is Korea still divided? You'd think a whole unified Korea would be good (eventually) for everyone. In the South, their embrace of Capitalism has lead to them to be an industrial, and economic powerhouse. They rival much of their own regional adversaries, like Japan and China. In the North there is Famine, and Stagnation. Both of which can be seen in the fact that North Koreans are typically several centimeters shorter than their southern counterparts despite being racially identical. One would think that (aside from those in power) the North would be clamoring for the benefits of the South. But that wall is not going to come down. Much like the Berlin Wall the regional (and world powers involved) don't want it to happen, but also unlike Berlin, the people inside Korea don't want it to happen.

To understand the outside influence, you have to understand that the North shares a Border with China and Russia. The Russians do not want to lose access to their ports, in that area because really that's one of the few port facilities Russia has access to that don't freeze up in winter. The Chinese do not like rivals. The Vietnamese and Chinese fought a terribly bloody war, after the US fought there, and the Chinese always are a little paranoid about invaders. They're paranoid about the nationalist Chinese in Taiwan, which, despite being given hardly any land at all and hardly any resources are constantly elbowing China in important markets, and most often doing the same jobs better quicker and more efficiently. If North Korea, which is heavily dependent on Chinese good will were to become as prosperous as the South, and indeed Unified, it is entirely possible that they might be forced out of many of the markets China depends on (in their own little way they did embrace capitalism in the end) and worse they wouldn't have one of their key playing cards against the US and the West.

In the "Free World" you have Japan, a long time rival and enemy of Korea. Pretty much every time the Japanese got sick of their little islands or wanted new land the first place they went was Korea. This explains why there is so many ethnic Koreans in Japan, they were often brought back and used for cheap labor, and with Japans inbuilt racial stresses, such gaijin are never allowed the benefits of citizenship. History of conflict between Korea and Japan is long, bloody, and probably too dull for most Westerners to muddle through. Indeed Korea would not even be divided if not for Japan. Japan fears the hatred they engender in the Koreans (rightly so) and a Unified Korea would not only be an economic threat (Japan's economy is not the best in the world) but a military one as well. The US, would be fine with it, so long as it did not cause regional chaos, though knowing our more Progressive "friends" they would preserve the status quo until Judgement Day

But wouldn't the Koreans want it? I point back to Berlin. It took 10 years to make the East as in anyway comparable to the West. How long do you think it would take North Korea, which has been run Piss Poor for decades, to recover? Never mind the constant animosity, of the North sending their special forces on "training missions" to kill South Koreans. The rumors of millions of artillery rounds being pointed at Seoul for over 60 years has not helped much. The anger and bitterness caused by the division would probably take almost a whole generation to heal.

With the Kim Dynasty passing on to the third generation, there were (initially) many people in high places that were worried that the relatively unknown Kim Jong Un would be unable to control his country. It is still possible that there could be chaos. If Kim Jong Un can not control his military, or perhaps worse, if he can only control a portion of his military, there is a potential for collapse, and civil war. A war which would *naturally* draw in most of the "belligerents" that have kept Korea divided. Throw in Nuclear Weapons in the mix and you reach a conclusion that many do not want to contemplate, which is why, many in the halls of power continue to hope that the Wall will stay up, and why no one has bothered to plan for the day when it *eventually* will fall.

How do you maintian Faith in a Faithless world

2011-12-23T02:29:00.003-06:00

so there I was, it was February of 2003, I was in my first week of Basic Training. I was sitting there, on my first Sunday, just trying to get a little peace, and wishing for the nightmare to be over (DS Morton was plain up scary). I was tired, and aching in places I didn't know I could ache. I was pretty sure I'd never make it through.

Then the Chaplin was saying that we should look around and see some of the guys that came before us. The guys about to graduate. They had sat where where we had sat, and thought what we thought. He said they felt the same way as we did, that we couldn't do it. and he kept saying "you can do it"

Somehow he got through to my much sore and befuddled mind, and I looked up and saw this stained glass window. A soldier bent in prayer. It was so moving that I bust out in tears. Something that really hadn't happened before.

I suppose I could say it was an epiphany. A moment of clarity that changed my perceptions of what had come before. But really I think it was finally accepting a Faith that I had a base acknowledgement of, but this was more of a full acceptance.

Since then there have been several moments that had challenged, and reaffirmed the faith I found that day. But this isn't about how I found Jesus. Really I am not trying to convert you (whoever you are that might be reading this).

Actually the reason that I write this particular post is all about the ride of Atheism. Its not that I mind folks that don't believe in God. I'll live and let live. But here's the problem. Recently more and more "Humanists" who seek to tare down all religion. Not just Christianity, but that's the first target. You'll see things about the "myths" and why believe in God?

There's a flaw in this. You can see a correlation between times when this country has strong faith and when it is weak in its faith, and also it's overall strength. Economic Strength, Military Strength etc. What I think is really funny about these so called Humanists is that they talk about "freedom" from religion, and yet Religious people tend to be happier on the whole, and tend to live better lives. They spend so much time scoffing at something they never bother to understand. Laughing at metaphorical imagery ("where is that guy hanging out in the clouds") and completely miss out on just about everything else.

So why tare down Christianity? Why try to make it so its an "us vs. them" why isn't their way of life a live and let live approach like most of Christianity has? I think this is an attempt to force a certain almost Marxist sort of change. Sure we can't have the communist manifesto in full, but we can have a start by taring down the "opiate of the Masses". You can have "official" protection by misreading the preamble to the 1st Amendment, so that rather than protect our religious freedoms it's an excuse to take our freedoms away.

Sadly in this day in age, when someone talks about "freedoms" or "discrimination" you should probably pay extra attention. Its most likely that they want the exact opposite of freedom.

writting about the war

2011-12-16T05:50:00.002-06:00

I have recently come to the conclusion that I should write a slightly altered account of the war, or rather take a story and fill it with real things that actually happened to me. Maybe throw in a few things that didn't but you know its not as easy as one might think. Writing about simple things is actually pretty hard. How much should be filler, should I just write and go, or should it be structured?

Names also give me fits. Some names just seem fake, so I try my best to come up with them, but lets tell the truth, everything I write looks like shit to mine own eyes, even if people around me say "oh my God that was good" I half think that most of those people are pulling my leg. But then there's always that small vanity in the back of your mind. You want to believe you're good.

I shared what I wrote about Craig's death with someone and it got posted on a blog I frequent. It got posted and the responses were quite humbling. I think now that the war is over people need to know what has happened. So for my brothers, I will try to write to the best of my ability.

Fuck 2011!

2011-12-15T03:13:00.002-06:00

I would have to say if ever there a year that was utterly shit, It would be 2011. I mean I thought my 13 months in the WTB were bad, but this year takes the but fuck cake. How you say? Well let me start off with January:

So first week of school, I was staying at the House (I loved living in the KA House) and got wicked sick. It was not good. Missed the first week of school. THEN my father died. That threw my semester out the window. You could understand the depression that followed. Then the chapter lost its charter. The one bright side of January to May, was that Osama died. And Fuck him very much.

So then I was living in the KA basement for almost a month. Believe me when I say that sucked ass. Homelessness is a bitch. So then I get the pipeline job in NY, and fuckers fire me after 7 days. Which royally fucked up my financial plan and made me feel even worse. The girlfriend at the time was not helping matters much. She wanted all my attention, and to tell the truth she was getting beyond unhelpful. Yeah drama is like a magnet to me.

So now I've got a job at walmart. It sucks ass and the pay is a bitch. I've been behind on my bills despite earning more than ever. It really doesn't make sense, but what can you do? Thankfully I've been working out at the Rec, and I've actually lost a lot of weight. That's probably the reason I haven't offed myself sooner. This year has been fucking insane.

Oh did I mention Helen got married? Wonder-fucking-FULL!!! She's so happy I could gag. So to the fairer sex all I've got to say, is really you suck.

So now I've got to pay through the nose to try to get registered. It is something I might talk about later. But for right now. FUCK 2011!!!

Meet the Greeks.

2010-09-13T19:36:00.003-05:00

Bill LeHait (right) and myself in front of our booth.

Today we held an event where the entire Greek Community of WVU turned out to help recruit for Rush which begins on the week of the 20th. Its the same event that got me interested in the KA in the first place. I met Aaron right at the end and the rest is history. It can be fun but it is pretty well mandatory.

Honestly I think that it was more for the Sororities. The biggest problem is Pan-Hellenic has some UBER GAY rules. Whereas the Fraternities are the ones that must recruit Rush and induct new members the girls are all brought to the sororities. You actually have to pay TO rush. They take you around to all the houses, and its all really. . . retarded. All the girls were wearing the same shirts, which made NO freaking sense. DG and Chi-O don NOT get along, as an example. The girls don't "Rush" its "recruitment" and they are not "Pledge(s)" they are some other word. Even the pledging process is not designed to teach or weed out. So IFC (Intra-Fraternity Council) doesn't have NEAR as many rules, thank God, but still.

We made a few contacts I talked to a few people. Ian pissed me off real bad when he interrupted me when I was with a potential. I can not begin to say how annoying it was. And he simply restated everything I just said. Kind of annoying. He needs to learn when not to step in. But overall I saw a few kids that I'm pretty sure will pledge. I'm glad to see that. Can't wait for Pledging to begin. Hopefully it'll make the insanity of this Sallie Mae bullshit fade away.

9 years later

2010-09-11T15:39:00.001-05:00

Part of me wants to say "holy crap its been 9 years?" but part of me is also starting to feel distance from the issue and event, so perhaps I really can believe its been 9 years. It does kind of bother me though that there is still an active war that is still ongoing and most Americans for the most part seem to have forgotten, or at least aren't consciously aware that the threat is still out there. Go to the Huffington Post some time and you will read pieces about how it was all a lie, or that it was a conspiracy or that we overreacted. Listen to some folks and you'll STILL hear the "truther" movement echoing with just the faintest hint of legitimacy.

I tired, really I tried, to watch Loose Change. I would like to be able to hear all sides of an issue, but i found the whole thing so ignorant that it made me want to scream. I try to watch all the "ah-HA!" moments, and what you end up with is a whole case built on the most insanely circumstantial evidence and the conspiracy gets ever more vast, complicated and in the end you have this leviathan that simply could not exist in the real world.

I believe that the people who continue to believe this are not bad people necessarily (there are some methodology I'd argue against, and there are always a few lunatics) but I also don't believe that it is as representative of the population as they would like to believe. So how do these amazing and vast conspiracies come to form? Well I think part of it is denial. Its is hard to believe that one man in the 9th floor of a book depository could possible be so accurate and fire so well, and really cause so much damage to the national psyche. Likewise it is hard to believe that 19 pissed off Muslims that trained in a cave in one of the poorest countries in the world could have the wherewithal to cause so much destruction. To people that believe such things I would say that a truly motivated man can do things that defy imagination.

as for how the buildings fell, the Airplanes hitting the towers flight 93 being staged (I talked to workers in the area who didn't hear it but there's a lot of science you'd have to go into to explain why they wouldn't hear it.) I have to ask one simple question. If all this was planned out, either by a singular individual of a shadowy cabal. . . with all the support required (and remember the more elaborate you get the more support you have to have) knowing all this, and that there is always SOMEONE that talks. . . why haven't we gotten conclusive proof of this conspiracy? We have clear video evidence of both planes hitting the WTC. the first strike is a little harder to see but it is quite clear. we have moderate quality footage of the plane hitting the Pentagon, and of all those crashes pointed to as evidence for why 93 is not how people say it is. . . have you honestly ever seen an airplane hit the ground at over 500MPH? most crashes are at Landing or take off, so using them for evidence is pretty well shot.

As for the question "where are all the pieces?" Aluminum is pretty sturdy but its nothing compared to steel. With enough speed and force wings, engines tails etc will shred like tissue paper. structural integrity for say a civilian passenger liner is not nearly as much concern as for say a fighter aircraft. At most a 757/767 is expected to pull 3-4 g's and that's an "oh shit" moment, and really its not expected to do that for long. Were you to somehow find a way to break the sound barrier with a 757 the airplane would literally tare itself apart, so its no wonder that these planes have little remaining pieces.

I could go on for hours I think about these myths. The problem I have is that anyone, especially rational people would give these awful thoughts anymore than lip service. And if by some chance there truly WERE this shadowy cabal that everyone thinks is in power, well that paints a really terrifying view of the world I choose not to believe in. It also presupposes that America is a generally bad place and bad country. If we really are the "bully" it is because we are always trying to do the right thing and always taking an ethnocentric view of life. However despite the disastrous errors that can happen in both foreign and domestic policy, isn't it simpler to explain this through incompetence and negligence rather than Malice?

why can we not memorialize this day without controversy? Why can't we have unity like we did on 9/12/01? is it really so bad that we have to tare each other apart over minutiae?

Compare and contrast.

2010-09-07T07:00:00.001-05:00

So here are the women in my life retroactively back to Lisa.

Liz

Helen

Jessi

Lisa.

So here's the point. Looking back on my life, there are a lot of things that can be said. Each of these women I loved in my own way. Lisa and Jessi seem to have this strange place in my personal history. The romances between me and them where short lived intense and left me broken when it was over. Jessi more so because more than passion, I felt truly happy with her. There were so many times, that I thought about just running to her and begging for her back. but I couldn't her judgment of me would be so terrible that even if it were mild scorn it would be like thunder from heaven. It doesn't help that both are intrinsically linked to my second tour.

Helen. . . God what do I say about Helen. I really wanted to make things work with her but I never matched her glossed up view of life. I will understand her inner workings better than I think any man ever will, and she is the only person that I turned to. My first tour I told her everything, and at some level I'd always loved her, and she me. That she could leave so easily hurt more than I could explain. That she is now happy and enjoying the new man, that she is bubbly about and has all the things she wanted, somehow doesn't sit well with me. What can I say?

Now Liz. This is a bit hard to explain. Instant connection, but problems. She has health issues up the yin yang, and she really wants the whole nine yards. Namely she has babies on the mind, marriage, and I am the one she wants. Its really humbling to know that someone wants me so much but I'm not sure that she wants me or my. . . um stuff. well you know I guess that it doesn't really matter in the end.

What do all these women have in common? For one moment they all offered me a glimpse of a dream. The vision of something to come home to, family, love. I don't know what happened along the way. How all of that lead to more scaring than before. Being alone seems somehow too unbearable to continue to contemplate, but really what future can I provide. I am a soldier. I am a loner, and more than that, I can't really relate more than 90% of America anymore. Everyone seems so god damned spoiled, and promiscuous. When "Snookie" is one of the most recognizable celebrates, a shallow vapid woman who is probably so disease ridden that having any form of contact would probably either make you retarded or make your dick fall off. There is no growth, there is no greater understanding. In fact quite the opposite.

So what do you out there you, whoever you are, what do you think?

Money Woes

2010-09-06T20:56:00.003-05:00

I sometimes wish that I were President Obama. I mean i can give people the finger and spend their hard earned money while the tofu eaters just gobble up the insane policies I spit forth. I mean its AWESOME! ok if you can't tell that that is a sarcastic statement, you might need to get your head checked.

It might be hard to believe that I, a college student could disagree with our Dear and Fluffy Leader. but I am not your average College student. I passed two women that were heckling the College Republicans booth across from the Mountain Lair. The things they were saying seemed to come right out of a political speech "we had 8 years of Bush. . . " or "Why can't we have a black guy?" Ok so Bush wasn't the greatest. I think he was far better than a lot of other Presidents, but that, ultimately will be for history to decide. He was far better than Carter, and without a doubt I trusted him more than Clinton. Now I hear these women say things like "thanks for saving me, my family is all like that republican. I mean my mom is a real Jesus freak. . . " it kinda went on from there. What bothers me, well and truly bothers me is that most of those D's out there truly feel they are better than the R's. why? because they Believe in God? or hold on to traditions that have kept us (more or less) together as a county for almost 300 years?

So here I sit, not able to pay bills, waiting on the GI bill to pay up, sweating bullets , hoping they really don't wait three freaking months again. I'm avoiding social occasions with my brothers so i don't spend money. It really blows, and I hear the PotUS talk about spending MORE we simply DON'T HAVE. I mean if I were to do that, they'd haul my happy ass off to Jail. Why is it ok for a country to do it. Its like a massive ponzi scheme. I'm kinda left wondering who will be stuck with the check. I know i damn sure cant pay it.

Hello again

2010-09-05T10:20:00.002-05:00

Its been a whole year since my last post. A lot has happened. I lost a girlfriend, tried to be celibate met, someone I hadn't seen since High School and now we're dating (LOOONNNG story) I'm now a full member of Kappa Alpha (yeah I know a frat. Get over yourself). But, as ever my money issues fallow me. As if getting my $500 a month from the VA (FINALLY) would have eased things up? NOPE back to square one. Apparently there was a form I knew not of, which should have been filled out many moons ago. Hence I am yet again waiting for that post 9/11 GI Bill to pay up that stipend, wondering how long i can hold off from getting a job.

As if that weren't enough stress right there, I am also a shitty student apparently. Well actually anyone that knows me knows how intelligent I am, buuuuttt well lets just say there's issues with school work. so I got a nasty gram from the University saying in essence "we are gonna kick you out" JOY! I managed to finagle my way back, but, well its a long story. So for now, I'm back. More to come I'm sure but what the hell

I've been published. . . sort of

2009-09-18T10:39:00.002-05:00

Well I wouldn't have believed it, but indeed I am in a book. Not me as a charictor. ME. The person. I'm even quoted. This strange moment of celebrity is not without some doubt. I'm almost affraid to see what is written about me. See when I was deployed LTC Kauzralich or however you spell his name (we just called him "Killer K") always had this reporter at his hip. Almost always. Some said that he was writting a book to make the col look good so he could get his chickens. Fat chance I thought till I saw in army times that the SOB had actually managed to get promoted. I guess they'll promote anyone in the Army these days.

It's so weird though. There are the words. There is the scene. I remember them. It was a distant memory, long forgotten, and yet reading what David wrote, the words I said came right back to me. Dear God did I really say that? Yes, yes I did. Did I really talk about that? Yes, I did. What do you say to that? There are your words. "I feel sick all the time when we go out. I know we're going to get hit." Its weird. And reading what March said. . . It made me realize that I wasn't the only one that was suffering inside. I especially liked the end of the chapter about us.

"Phill went back to his ambien

Lt Hammel went back to his furnature

Bailey went back to his long loops around the FOB

Wheeler went back to his 'what ifs'

and March went back to his slideshow."

It seems strangly fitting. In the end he didn't talk about chargin down hundreds of insurgents, or saving babies. In the end he seems to suggest that the ultimate act of heroism was simply putting the vest on again and going outside the wire. Does that make me a hero? Does that make me brave? or stupid?

It inspired me to do something to aleviate some guilt. I called the New Haven register. Its time to set the record strait. His family has a right to know. He didn't die becuase he was tired or because he was given a bad mission. He died because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He died because you never see an IED till its too late. Never. I hope that I can convey the sense of loss, that he was loved, and that his loss hurt us too. That we hold on to him each day in our dreams.

8 years later

2009-09-11T16:27:00.002-05:00

Now we stand. 8 years after the face. There have been tributes, and people have largely moved on. Kids now in college, too young often to remember or understand the events of September 11th 2001. Few are the people as directly affected by it. The families will always remember, as will the soldiers. But the public, in time will forget the horror the pain and the fear.

I can not, at this time tell you what i feel about that fact. Perhaps it is good in someway. Perhaps it is good that the public is not constantly tearing at the scab trying to relive the pain, but to me, the lack of somber attitude or, worse, awareness, is grating to the worst degree. I can not help but feel disheartened. The world saw the best, and the worst in humanity that day, things that ought not to be forgotten so easily.

I find that listening to women gossip about what clothes are worn or who goes out with who, on a day like today to be nearly intolerable. And yet, this is the very innocence I've fought to protect. Hearing one friend was going on a "Fascist America" bike ride nearly sent me through the roof. Such fools would allow such tragedies to happen based on narrow views that are far more intolerant than those they claim to oppose. That a dear friend, and one time lover, was doing it. . . really hurts. How? How can anyone think such things? If they had seen what I'd seen would they call Jihadis freedom fighters? NO! They would call them what they are, except I have yet to find one word in the English language filled with enough contempt and scorn for honorless thieves, murders rapists and cowards.

I've spent two 9/11's in a war zone, and 6 in the Army. I've been on staff Duty, and even went to a church service that day. and where, in all of this does the peace come? Where does the peace of mind come from knowing AT LAST this tragedy has been avenged and prevented from ever happening again? It doesn't come. It probably won't ever come, because sadly it is just as likely today as it was on 9/10 save the one key factor, we're aware of it now.

I know this war won't last much longer. It can't, but the thought of losing is just heart breaking. Especially when so much was sacrificed to get it done. Islamofascism can not be allowed to win or the next thing you will hear is "allah huakbar" on the city streets of New York itself.

Wish I knew someone here. . .

2009-09-08T17:27:00.002-05:00

I think I can safely say that the biggest problem with college is simply put, THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE!!! How anyone can make "lifelong" friends in an institution this size is beyond me. I suspect that it has a lot to do with Fraternities and Sororities (the "Greek" societies) but even then, how the HELL does a person make friends with classes that take place in small amphitheaters!

This is no doubt the "culture shock" that I was expecting, but still. I'm surrounded by people and I feel pretty alone. I think that's just odd! Still, I do not feel empty. Not like I did a few short months ago. Is it because this is not Kansas? Or is it because I have a sense of purpose? I wouldn't know which. Still, it is good to get out from under the heel of oppressive PA's and giant not so there PSG's.

Classes are difficult, and my old friends heartburn and insomnia have returned with a vengeance. I was strangely asymptomatic before I got here, now my rhythm is all sorts of wacky. Some days I go to bed at 8 (2000) others I don't close my eyes till 0400. It really is in-freaking-sane. Something I wish I could fix.

The good news to come out of that though, I have begun hand writing (because my computer is broken ARG) one of the many stories that have been bouncing around in my head. I hope i can fill up the journal i bought before I lose interest again, but I'm sure I'll not be that lucky. Hopefully I can send it to Niki who can edit and type it, so i can add in other things send back to her proof read and whatever. End goal. I publish. I get PAID THIS TIME!!! (I'm still simmering about "Don't Quit" I can kind of see why Napster caused so many artists grief) and hey maybe my financial woes will be over. . . not likely but we've all got to have dreams don't we?

A New Day in A New Place

2009-09-03T12:32:00.002-05:00

Well sports fans, I'm out of the army. Ironically my last day was the 29th of april exactly 6 years 3 months after I joined. I'd like to say i did all I could to fight it but by that point I was tired of arguing with the Army. I kind of got steam rolled by the great beuracratic machine that is Uncle Sam. I'm also not going to lie and say that i wasn't a little glad to be out. Lets face it Ronny "I'm a Captain in the United States Army" Brock, for all his psudo concern made my life a living hell. I'm glad to be away from it. Now if I go back i go back on MY terms. Not theirs.

So what, you ask have I been doing with my life? Simple I've started college. Now this suave 25 year ols Freshmen is starting where? why West Virgina. WVU isn't the most prestigious college eever, nor is it the biggest, smnallest or a lot of other things. In ints own way however it is great. Only two weeks in WVU has welcomed me with open arms and for that they have earned my loyalty. (perhaps thats whty alumni are so proud)

What am i studying you ask? well. . . that's a matter of debate. See I wish I could say that I kne wbut the truth is I just pain don't. I haven't the foggiest on what the hell i want a degree in. But at the end of the day I know I need that degree. So get it I shall. More to come but for right now I've got to get to class.

Women. . . sigh

2009-04-14T00:56:00.002-05:00

I find myself in the enviable position of being able to "choose" women, and yet it really means nothing at all to me. I have tried again and again to reconsile my feelings, but the truth is that after both Jessi and Lisa, I'm not even sure if I can feel anything despite the fact that everywhere I turn it seems I am eliciting strong emotional responses from women. I have most of my adult life a serries of relationships of what could have been and what should have been. I do not have contact with my first girlfriend but from Martha right up to Andrea, pretty much all of my ex's are married and have kids, the only exception (that I know of) is Lisa, and really, I don't expect that to last long.

And then there's me. Standing here feeling intensely alone trying not to actually notice just how isolated I am. Saturday I had a woman (who was drunk at the time) tell me she loved me, and . . . nothing. I didn't feel a damn thing! In fact if anything it made me feel even more alone. Adoration I don't deserve. Affection I can't return. I'm always seen as this great awesome guy in the beginning, but in the end they all hate me, and then as time passes the hate turns into pity. I'm left with a vague sense of what *should* happen, and I know I am nowhere near that.

I asked Lisa about it yesterday, and she was thankful that she wasn't the cause of it. I didn't have the heart to tell her that this feeling of emptiness started when i found out about her boyfriend, Shane. I don't really have the heart to tell her about the hell I went through after the break up. I put on a brave face, but God alone knows how I tore myself apart inside.

Then there's Jessi. I've tried to engage her in even "hello". I await the day the restraining order comes in the mail. In one of those rare moments when you realize how badly you've screwed up, and are willing to do anything to undo the damage done, those moments usually come right before the restraining order. In my case when I fall over backwards trying to apolagize I come off as a stalker. Just my luck. The woman who was everything I could have possibly wanted, booted out of my life because I am a freaking moron. Now I can't even get her to acknowlege my existance as more than an annoyance. Dear God its depressing.

When I went with Robinette and Rice to the pool, there was some good natured horse play, but I saw how those two interacted. I know Rice has a boyfriend but body language doesn't lie. She was doing a lot more than innocent horse play with him. I sat and watched them, certain to give them their space, but in my own heart I felt more like a sniper, or an observer then, than an actual participant. I felt like a watcher, a vouyer, and the theought at once left me disgusted and feeling ever so lonely. Is this how my life is going to be? Will I be forced to watch others live their lives? Shouldn't this thought fill me with dread?

Then there's Nicole. Truley, aside from Smitty (SSG Smith to all youse bozos) and Jessica (but less so) she is the only friend that I've kept in touch with throughout my military career, and tonight she said simply that she felt she failed me. I said to her that it's not her responsibility, that the only way she could have helped me is if she had married me. Honestly there is no she could have helped me in any meaningful way other than as a supporting role unless she wayhad married me. I get the feeling from her response that the thought had crossed her mind, and indeed there was a breif period where we had "dated" but it was more one of those "the road not taken" type of things. I think that she would have married me in a heartbeat except that i had been a staple of her life and she didn't want to lose me. Isn't that weird?

Finally there is Laura. Sitting somewhere on Ft Bragg with a marriage that probably won't survive her deployment. She to has feelings for me, and I find myself walking a dangerous tight rope. I never want to be a Jodi (dude who steals wives) but the more I offer support the more it is clear that I might become just that. What's funny is she's got just as many hang ups as me. Her history reads like a case study for a psychology paper, and she has medical conditions I didn't even know were possible before I "met" her (thanks to the wonderful Facebook). There's enough in common (Both medics, both with a signifigant history, both with relationship problems) and a few common interests that there is potential. That's even more dangerous because as her marrage starts to fail she might look to me, and thats not good.

So what the hell happened to me? there once was a point that I would not date women on moral grounds. Now any ol thing and it A-ok. I feel like my life is spinning out of control, and whatever there is of me that is the concious mind (the part that says "I think therefore I am") seems like a passenger on this ride. I feel like I'm someone else when I'm with a woman. I want so desperatly to feel and mean what I say, but I just don't anymore. What happened to the hopless romantic? The poet that belived that love would conqure all things? I'm starting to question if love is even real, or worse as more and more of my friends find happieness and get married, that I was never meant to love or to be loved. I fear that I am some wreched creature that I'm only beginning to comprehend.

Hard work, and a well earned rest.

2009-04-11T00:36:00.002-05:00

This last week was absoulutly insane. There was not a single day that we did not get released late. Worse than that, *most of* the platoon busted it's collective ass, right up till we were released. It did not help that the higher ups constantly had something to say about things. Lt was good about staying out of things for the most part (Gotta love an Lt that doesn't micro manage things). But SFC Hall. . . not so much. Every time his name was uttered I shuddered inside, for it usually meant more work for the poor souls that remained.

If it wasn't already painfully obvious, Wednesday was an absolute disaster despite the fact that, for the most part we managed to get the Conex packed, there was a lot of waiting that was beyond unnecessary. At every chance I got I tried to hurry the process along, but towards the end when the big heads got together to "figure things out" things slowed up, it was like a train wreck, once the front car stopped, every subsequent car would leap off the rails. First it was the inventory, then it was the insert boxes, then it was the spare Class VIII, then finally it was all the extra stuff laying around.

Thursday was worse but for other reasons. First off we were minus Sgt Sutton, and well for the first half of the day we were pretty much sitting around looking at each other like a bunch of idiots. There were some videos that we had to watch, about Blue on Blue fire, UXO, and things of that nature. They were made at the height of the 80's and it was kinda clear that someone had put a lot of effort to make it look cool, but was horribly out of touch then, now it was just plain laughable. Now it wasn't until the later afternoon that something was comming down the pipe. The FLAs were all stripped except for three, one was on mission and two were in the shop, and it looked like we were going to get out of there on time.

Then there were radios. Any time a high dollar or sensitive item hand recipt is being signed you know you're in for at least *some* pain. But this. . . this was insane. After he personally inventoried the radios and equipment SFC Hall and the Lt were signing for, he had us take it up to the aid station were we did it again!!! The worst part was that he was slow as hell, and he'd constantly miscount menaing everything had to be counted again and again. But that wasn't the end of the day. I had to go out to the AHA to drop off a weapon for AGT Sutton, and off. the day ended at 1810. Just in time to get to the DFAC before it closed.

Of my four day weekend I pretty much burned my first day with just sleeping. Now I've got Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. I'm growing more and more desperate to escape this insainity. Why is it so hard for me to walk away again?

Why am I doing this?

2009-04-08T00:05:00.002-05:00

Today is part of a short week, only three days long, but its one of those short weeks where they're trying to pack at least 7+ working days of work into three days. There are so many moving peices right now its not even funny. Now I'm *somewhat* exempt from this, seeing as I am chaptering. I'm pretty much detatched, and I've gotten short timer's syndrome pretty bad. But even though I'm somewhat insulated from the stupidity I am not Imune to it.

Today i had an appointment at 0900, which was good because I missed out on the initial handing out of details. But not so good because I was sitting there a prime target for a particularly boring detail, where I had to highlight names all freaking day for people going through the "brain scan". It was some kind of test for people that sounded suspiciously like a TBI test.

I really might have been fine with it had it not, in fact been a COMPLETE WASTE OF MY TIME!!! I men despite the fact that I was getting people to highlight their names all day I wasn't there for the first two groups that went through, so the list was inaccurate. The best part, at the end of the day I simply took the list from the people running it and photo copied it so that the acting 1SG could have a copy. Essentially I wasted a whole day up at Battalion, annoying the shit out of people for something that I could have gotten at the end of the day!

I think even more important than that is the question of why on Earth I would be involved with packing a conex that I will absolutely not have anything to do with for a rotation to NTC which I won't even be here for, and I'm finding it hard not to ask "Why should I care?" Truth is that no matter what I do, no matter what I say this is going to be a hundred times more painful than it needs to be. SFC Hall has a nasty nack of getting involved and making things far harder than they need to be, and I can already see it now. I'm sure half the Connex will be packed and he will have forgotten one critical detail or have miscomunicated it to the junior NCOs, and we'll have to stop what we're doing, rearange it . . . really why should I give a crap.

I ask, in all honesty, what is the point of my assistance, seeing as I'm not trusted to do anything. This chapter, is, well Bull. I know DJ down at the hospital could have gotten me a Med board, and if they'd let me do my job I might actually be less mopey. I mean really, you take away my purpose for being in the army and wonder why it is that I act all down? really? and the Sleepwalking thing, you know its a common side affect of Ambien.

Its getting harder and harder for me not to find a shamtasctic reason to just skip out for the week, and not be involved period. If they think I'm not worth keeping around, why do I care about them? I can't answer it. I keep doing what they ask even though I want to bitch and moan more than ever. What really scares me is that, now at the end of this crazy ride, part of me, a quiet but large part of me, doesn't want to give it up. That thought is, somehow terrifying

Operation Homecomming

2009-04-06T18:06:00.002-05:00

There is a documentary called Operation Homecoming. It is a a collection of OIF, Vietnam, Korea, and even WWII veterans talking about their experiences and, perhaps more importantly what it means to write about those experiences. There were stories narrated by Hollywood legends, and something of a photo essay describing the events talked about. Every single one of these stories are powerful, as powerful as if I had said them.

I found myself crying as people I don't even know talked about what it ment to talk about their experiences. How can I explain how I feel? How can I respect myslef if I do not tell my tale? There are things that people need to know, and yet, no one will listen.

I think the story of "Taking Chance" and the one about the MedEvac flight, well there were things that touched a nerve deep in my soul. I know people will not listen to me now, but I can not hope to quiet my soul if I do not at lest try to tell something.

I highly advise, if anyone wants to know about war, or what its like to be a soldier at war, get this movie. Watch it, and learn what it means .

Oakland shooting, a sad sign of the times.

2009-03-22T04:40:00.004-05:00

Any Cop will tell you, its usually the routine trafic stops that turn nasty quick. From disgruntled socer moms angry that the police are making them even more late for whatever pressing engagement, to the drunk that is just plain pissed off and doesn't want to go to jail, a routine traffic stop can be anything from just that: routine, to out and out deadly.

Today in Oakland 4 police learned how deadly it can get. One man, an ex-con wanted for parole violation in regards to a Assault with a Deadly weapon charge was stopped by to bike cops. He then opened fire killing one and wounding the other. Immediately after that Police went on a manhunt for the man and in the process two SWAT members were killed in the attempt to arrest him. The suspect died of a fatal dose of hot lead. In all four officers were injured three died and one may not live very long.

Now some important parts to take from this story first, the two motorcycle cops were probably wounded by a pistol, second it is quite clear that the SWAT team was dealing with nothing less than an assault weapon. I'd be willing to bet it's our old friend the Kalashnikov, which is powerful enough to take down a lot of things at close range. Even if SWAT had the same body armor I wore, and even if the suspect were going to "spray and pray" chances are that he probably got the three wounded SWAT officers at the door to whatever room he was holed up in. That's the pure tactical situation as I read it.

But I have to say this. IT SHOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED! Doesn't matter which part, this whole thing can be broken down into a few parts.

1). the suspect didn't want to follow the rules and though he was above the law. He did things that society does not tollerate, and didn't want to pay the price for his actions. Worse, when given a second chance, his parole, he couldn't follow simple instructions, which, while a hastle would have prevented a need to run.

2). the suspect should never have been released if he were that much of a threat. "Good behavior" doesn't mean you don't just get into fights, it means you attempt to change your life. California has a soft spot for criminals and it cost four policemen their lives

3). while hardly mentioned in the article I read on Fox News (you can bet CNN or MSNBC didn't run it) the idea of 20 or so onlookers sticking around and jeering the police as they struck a manhunt for an obviously dangerous criminal is disconcerting. Even more disconcerting is the idea that some of these people were probably in some small way happy to see the cops injured. For every mistake the Police make there is a bunch of media attention, and with an ROE that's more confusing then the new Stimulus Package, its really no wonder that cops will draw a bead on "unarmed" kids. the simple fact is that it's dangerous to be a cop, and sometimes if the "innocent" harass the cop enough that he feels a threat to his life, or to the lives of others, is he not then justified in his or her actions. What bothers me the most about the "Police Brutality" issue is that its almost always blacks that are the focus and the "innocent victims" but we never see or hear what happens before the cameras start rolling. Even worse, because the suspects are almost always black and the cops are almost always white, it almost ALWAYS gets turned into a racial issue.

4). Obviously if I read the tactical situation right, then why weren't other urban pascification methods afailable? Flashbangs, and the like. hell they used Tear gas for the Embassy crissis durring the Tet offensive. If this target truly was a threat then why weren't other measures used to avoid choke points and prevent him from being able to think see or shoot clearly being utalized. It's not like we don't have the means.

5). Finally, while I don't know the situation, we need a quicker way to acess threats. Are they or aren't they threats? Before they even walk up to a vehicle they need to know who it's registered to and if any of the first tier (ie: Mother brother sister father etc) ascociations with the regristry are known/suspected offenders. Before the cops even get out of their car, before the walk even begins there should be a way to tag, querry and ascertain this information so the Police officer knows whether to go "hot" or "cold". I honestly think that if the public has a "right to know" how a soldier died a gruesome death and gleefully put that all over the news for the family to see, then a police officer has the "right to know" if someone in the car might be a bad guy!

I am sad to say but I feel a certain despair at the certainty that someone in the respectable news organizations will try to paint the dead shooter as the "victim" in all of this. I don't care how you spin it four people who were good are now dead for one low life sleeze ball. I count that as a loss any day. I fear matters will only get worse.

Memories

2009-03-21T21:30:00.002-05:00

This was during my first tour to Iraq in 2004. The F-16's had pulled out that day, and a mortar round started a grass fire that set off the whole AHA. misses, captured ammo, 500 LB, 1000 LB and even one 2000 lb bomb. Katie Mac will attest to the fact that it was scary as shit! So when you ask if I've seen any big booms you know that yes indeed I have.

DAMN THAT WAS QUICK!

2009-03-19T15:44:00.003-05:00

So we're officially on "block leave" and it has not been good so far for 2-16. Within the first thirty-six hours there were fights with a Cop, DUIs, and a near fatal accident while running drom the Cops! Of course the BC wasn't happy with that. Not at all. The funny thing is that the only company that didn't have an incident was Delta! Wow, that is deffinatly a first.

So Tuesday started with a bang. Aparently there was a while lot of organizing of MES chests that needed to be done. I know it has to be done from time to time, but christ alighty it seems like every other day we have to do these things. Muy Muy Mal. What really stung was that I found out that after the eval I did on friday, they had already decided on TUESDAY, to go ahead and push the 5-17. The most amazing thing of all is that they were talking weeks not the usual 2-3 months. That completly threw me for a loop. There is no way that I think I'll be ready for that kind of major transition in the timeline provided.

As if to proove the point, my chaper physical was the next day. Thats unheard of. In all my time in the Army, and dealing with chapters, I've never heard of the initial steps of a chapter foing through that quick. It is really making my head spin. Baisically over this 4 day I have to start cleaning all my TA-50 (not too hard as I've only really used it all once) and really start to plan out my transition. How am I going to make Car payments, How am I going to get home, how am I going to get to WVU, how am I going to pay for that, and far more important than that, what am I going to do after that?

I know neither how to respond to this, nor how I should prepare for this. There is something that feels just plain wrong about this, and yet for all the fear this sudden change induces I have to wonder if it is not, indeed, for the best. What have I really gained by comming back. Is my life really better for trying to continue to be a soldier. Perhaps my honesty is my own Acheles heel. Could I do another deployment and not return so absolutly Mind f***ed that I could carry on *some* kind of life? It is terrifying in a way and yet part of me is so used to being the viscious wolf. The hunter of men, ready to kill.

How can I walk away, and how can I find peace after this?

HOLY CRAP!!!

2009-03-19T08:59:00.003-05:00

THE NEW STAR TREK TRAILER IS AWSOME!!!

A sign of the times.

2009-03-14T18:40:00.000-05:00

The New F***ing Citibank - watch more funny videos

HA HA

the Madness of the Combat Medic

You paid HOW MUCH for that?

And now for something completely different

A Warrior('s) Ethos

An In Depth Investigation.

An Open Response to a Load of Dung.

The Problems, and Benefits of Blogs

Getting Things Right.

Using Condom Sense.

Once the Pin is Pulled Mr Grenade is No Longer Your Friend

My Problem with the Anti-War Movement

"To Stand Still. . . Is to Surreneder"

The Army Family.

for those in love, or wanting to be in love

It has more impact when other people say it.

The Mother of all Battles.

Diversity or Equality.

Around Her Hair She Wore a Yellow Ribbon. . .

What Goes Around Comes Around

Rights and Privileges

I have PTSD. I am still your guardian.

Glad to see it (FINALLY)

Navy Sets a Dangerous Precedent.

Oh Come on Pats!!!!

"hey look at me" and How It Harms Us ALL

The Wedding (short story)

Yom Kipour War and lessons we can learn.

Its not WestERN Virginia. Its this whole other state.

Empty Words?

HOLY CRAP!!!

the Ticking Time Bomb.

Biases

Imperialism

It's always the little things that count

Fairness, Equality and Other Buzzwords

When GEC's attack.

Zombie Or Free Thinker?

The Soldier Without a Face.

The cough that kills...

When you talk about what "they" should do

A happy Birthday to a true Southern Gentleman

Forgivness is not easy

First Formation (again)

Bradley Manning, the Benidict Arnold (Rosenburg, or John Walker Lynn) of our time.

PTSD. From Rambo to Every Former Military Man turned Criminal how you've all gotten it wrong.

You get what you (don't) pay for

When Caveman Responses Don't work.

Are you a Something or a Someone?

Here we go again.

Intellectual Cowardice.

Shutterbug Pt II

While you were at work

17 July 2007 (2nd Platoon's REALLY bad day)

Writting

Paul Bots

Happy Friggin New Year!

Korea, the Wall that no one wants to fall.

How do you maintian Faith in a Faithless world

writting about the war

Fuck 2011!

Meet the Greeks.

9 years later

Compare and contrast.

Money Woes

Hello again

I've been published. . . sort of

8 years later

Wish I knew someone here. . .

A New Day in A New Place

Women. . . *sigh*

Hard work, and a well earned rest.

Why am I doing this?

Operation Homecomming

Oakland shooting, a sad sign of the times.

Memories

DAMN THAT WAS QUICK!

HOLY CRAP!!!

A sign of the times.

Women. . . sigh