So the Loose cannons rolled out today. Without me. It was a bit of a shock to me to find that i had been command refered to Mental health. I really don't care, but still i thought i was past this. that's OK, really. But the fine print of "taking a break". In essence there IS. . . NO. . . SUCH . . . THING!!! i would have thought that there'd be a little leeway given to me, after all it is not bullshit details that stress me, but life limb and eyesight.
I was wrong. Dead wrong. Apparently they see it as a 1 for 1 swap and I should resume the duties of the man that assumed mine. Um. . . sorry bro, but i really needed rest and relaxation NOT MORE FREAKING stress. So for one week i will in essence be in close proximity with a group of people that while lothe might be a bit strong, let's just say whenever i have a choice i give them a wide berth.
I will be in EXTREAMLY close proximity with Captain Brock, which if anything makes this whole situation WORSE. I also had to listen on company net as my own guys did a raid without me. It was one of the worst feelings i've had in a LONG time. Worst of all, my mental stability in question i have this sinking feeling this may become far more perment than i had anticipated. This though fills me with dread. Indead, it fills me with a near panic. I am terrified of that morbid, petty existance i have tried time and again to escape. MEDCOM is full of these environments, sadly most of the people in the medical feild do not have enough line time to appriciate this.
How ironic, since i found out that they deem me arrogant that i now, of all times, feel haughty. I AM supperior to them. Though their lives are filled with boring slaveish work they do not know the same fear, mortal dread i know. Before they begin to judge my quality they should bare that in mind. Worst of all, i am treated like i carry some unplesent disease. Often kept at arms length, worse i feel the people around me are two faced. Not at all like the line. The PA has lied to me, in my face, and worse, he has comented on my lack of balls. I had an urge to slug him for his presumption. but i sat there choking on humble pie as always. Taking in his dressing down, and telling me i'm a fool. Right in my face, he baisically threw this.
For one week. . . I feel the urge to go postal already. FUCKING POGS!!!