Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Spandex Example (Rights and Privileges Explained)

Lets face it, we all think we look better than we actually look.  There are very few people out there that are as hot as they think they are, and most of those people are assholes, because they know they can be.  No for you men out there unless you really do have washboard abs and can crack walnuts in your crack, you're probably not going to beat Gerard Butler in a beauty contest.  Chances are you work hard, and either your job, or the simple fact that you're tired after a long day keeps you out of the gym.  Its ok.  You're not alone.  But if you do have a bit of a beer gut, its probably wise to not go around acting like you are and underwear model.  Put that hair away Sasquatch!  No one likes seeing overweight Wookies at the beach. 

Women too are not immune to this.  For some reason women seem to love tight clothes.  This would be fine if the women in question who wear the tightest clothes weren't morbidly obese.  Ladies, rule of thumb, if you weigh more than 160 lbs., as a nice round figure, you're probably not going to be able to pull off the "sex goddess" look.  Putting writing on an ass that moves two feet every time you take a step probably isn't going to win you appreciative looks.  It's going to send men scurrying for the bathroom, then to use mind/eye bleach.  

Being Fat isn't a sin.  Lord know's I've got enough chub on that I don't have a leg to stand on when it comes to berating people about their weight.  I am doing something about it, but that's neither here nor there.  The difference is I know I'm fat.  I have what are called "compression shorts" which I wear to the gym for two reasons 1). They tend to keep people from getting the full monty if my shorts ride up too much, and 2). well as a guy, and a former medic, testicular torsion (when your balls get twisted all around) is not a good thing.  You really don't want your balls flopping around when you're working out.  But Compression shorts are not the only thing I wear.  Like wise I've been known to wear spandex or neoprene muscle shirts because they tend to make you sweat a mite bit more.  I tend not  to wear them as my sole shirt.  I'm not looking to pick anyone up at the Gym, but I'm also not looking to make the nearest woman run screaming from the room with her eyes bleeding.

You see Spandex is a privilege.  Not a Right.  If I weighed 300 Lbs I probably couldn't find anyone to actually make the spandex for me, and really once you stretch it to a certain point you're just asking for it to fail on you (or choke the shit out of you).  Women wear Pink brand pants that are tight stretchy and have things written on their ass (a ploy I might add that forces us poor men to stare at your ass, so please stop complaining when we do)  which is fine, if you have an ass that can pull it off.  But most of the women that wear such clothes don't.  If I can see the cottage cheese in your thighs when you're just wearing Jeans, don't you think Spandex will exacerbate the problem?  Men do it too, though we tend to wear sleeveless shirts and the like.  It doesn't win us any points.  Trust me.

The effect of forgetting what is a privilege, and what is a Right are never pretty.  You can put a push up bra on, and suck in your gut, but at the end of the day you're failed attempts to look 50 pounds lighter are only going to backfire.  We have this same problem in our society as a whole.  It may not be spandex on fat people, it may be more serious things, like Healthcare Houses, or even Jobs.  At the end of the day if you do not earn the privilege, the you really don't have the Right.

Here's a good rule of thumb, when determining if it is a Privilege or a Right.   "Is somebody else going to pay for what I do, or is this something that I can do/receive without assistance or labor of others?".  Life here is obviously the exception.  Go ask your mother.  She'll tell you IN DETAIL all about her labor to squeeze you out.  By wearing spandex when you really ought not to, you are adding to the violent need to hurl for all members of the opposite sex around you, thus it is a privilege.  Even-though Healthcare is one of those gooey, "wish everyone had it" type of things at its core it's a service.  There's no way you're going to magically heal yourself.  Any action taken on your behalf is a service.  Housing is a good.  A Good is something you use or consume.  This too is not a "Right".  Someone has to build the damn thing.  As far as Jobs go, well if you're a Grade A asshole, why should any job, anywhere keep you?  Though you are providing Goods or Services, at the end of the day your paycheck is not guaranteed to be what you want it to be.  There is a contract, spoken unspoken or written that you will work for X amount of hours for so much pay.  But the Employer can fire you for any reason and no reason at all.  Believe it or not that is their Right.  It's not all one way, you have the Right to redress any wrongs that may have befallen you because of or in regards to your termination in civil court.

The current fiscal crisis, and the ones soon to follow can be laid squarely at the feet of the Liberal/Progressive idea of making Privileges into Rights.  A chicken in every Pot sounds great to a starving man, but how are you going to ensure that he gets his chicken?  Making sure everyone has a house sounds great to someone that's lived in apartments their whole life, but how are you going to make those houses affordable to people who can barely keep up with rent on their apartments?  Free Healthcare sounds great but how are you going to attract Doctors if you're not paying them well, and they can still get the pants sued off them, even if they make the right call?  You end up with a result that is much similar to a 400 pound woman wearing all spandex.  It looks like she's got two bags of feed corn in her legs, her ass stretches the words out so much you can't read them, the gut is hanging out of her shirt, and her breasts are in danger of jiggling out of her top (which you desperatly hope WON'T happen)  all the while she's strutting her stuff like she is 120 pounds of chiseled sex appeal.  Does that Image make you want to Vomit?  That's what happens when you treat Privileges like Rights.  It.  Ain't.  Pretty.


Marquita said...

I recently discovered your blog and I am enjoying it very much! You have a great sense of humor, too!
Welcome home and thank you!

MSgt B said...

My new diet plan.

Keep coming back every day, reading this blog post and reveling in the pictures it brings to mind....

should put me off food for at least eight hours or so.

The Mad Medic said...

HA HA MSG, and here I thought I was trying to explain the differences between rights and privileges.