I delayed this because of the obvious tragedy in Arura CO, but there are a lot of things about the new batman movie I really need to get off my chest. Yes I will geek out. Yes there will be spoilers. You have been warned.
First off I need to apologize to Ms Hathaway. I never appreciated your innate Hotness, and thought you were a bit stuck up. In my defense you only made chick flicks for as long as I can remember. I tend to tune those out because they tend to be like watching a Chinese movie without subtitles, you tend not to know who is who and why the hell they're doing half the things they're doing. Had you made a movie that Dudes might actually see you would no doubt have a throng of male non-gay fans.
Now the set up for Bane in the first five minuets of the film is actually pretty masterful, it tells you all you need to know about his methods and tactics, without telling you really diddly squat about who he really is. Actually more than a quick glimpse or two of him before he gets injured, and an explanation (albeit round about) of his injuries you never have any real explanation of who he is. I actually like that. Its good to have mystery to your villains. That he was even a little charming after a fashion made him a worthy villain. Still, the Bane broke Batman, comic was played out after a fashion, and I knew it was coming, so it wasn't a surprise. How they dealt with Bane was a bit. I'll try to leave it there, but one other thing about Bane. He is not any veiled reference to Bain Capitol. That was such a stretch it broke. No Bane is Occupy personified. So good one retards.
Cat Woman, is just as interesting as she is never actually called Cat Woman. She is every bit the equal of Batman in this film, with just as much, if not more, moral ambiguity, you'd expect. This was perhaps is one of the most. . . human portrayals of Cat Woman I've ever seen. She didn't have the whip, or any of the super skills you see in the comics, just a woman with a taste for fine things, that sadly had to live her life on the run. I really liked how they went with the "ears" as they weren't "ears" at all but a functional part of her costume (eye protection, possibly something more) that she would flip up and give the signature cat like "ears".
Now heres a real spoiler. Talia. Well yeah there had to be a twist here right? Miranda is Talia, daughter of Ras, who was basically the driving force of the first movie. Its not until after the reveal that a lot of stuff like "who the hell is this random woman" comes to mind. Talia was always supposed to be exotic, and I really liked the return of Liam Neeson if only briefly. No mention of the Lazarus Pit, which, in the comics really does make him immortal. Talia comes off a bit crazy, and I would have loved to see the "Great Love of Batman" angle explored more. Ah well you can't have it all. I will say her death made no sense. I know the Hemmit wasn't going that fast. I know because they don't. She didn't fall that far, and the kind of damage that would have killed her that quickly. . . wouldn't have left her without a mark.
As for Batman/Bruce Wayne. . . I get the remorse over Harvey dent, I get that Batman might have faded to the shadows, but you seriously expect me to believe that the night Dent died is the last time Batman was seen? no way. I get that you don't want to mention Joker, but there is just no way that 8 years go by in Gotham city without a need for Batman. Further you see Bruce at the beginning barely able to walk. So something had to happen. Explain an injury, something you can't just say that at the end of Dark Knight, Batman went into hiding for 8 years. WTF. They even make references to the Batcave, which wasn't even completed at the end of DK. So why would Wayne "go down there" if they hadn't done anything in 8 years. . . I do like the decay that's shown, but it wasn't set up very well or explained. You have this jump from successful Wayne Enterprises and kick ass Batman, to Broken Bat, and nearly moribund WE. That's a bit too much of a jump for a sequel.
And that kind of segways into something else. At the beginning of the film things have gotten so bad for Wayne, and by default Gotham, that a few simple patches and you're back in business? I'm not kidding when I say that makes no damned sense. The Doctor telling Wayne that he has no cartilage in his knees elbows or shoulders make it almost impossible for Batman to do more than limp around in agony. Seriously if he had half the injuries listed he should be on crutches. They put on a magic knee brace and Poof, all better. . . but later in the prison (there's no way they'd let him keep the knee brace) there's not even a hint of a limp. hugh? In the movie he gets his back literally broken, has a bulging disk, that a punch to the back fixes (No. Just no) and then he can walk. Unless he's the damned Nazi Ubermench, there's no freaking way he heals that fast. While its nice to see Batman do this all down and dirty without the Billions of dollars to back him up, there was just a bit too much fit into too short a time for this all to make too much sense.
I will say one of the things I liked about Christopher Nolan's version is it seemed based in reality. Every Bat Gadget actually seemed like it might be real. The Bat (the bat wing or flying thingie) was pretty cool and when explained actually looked like it could work. Granted I'm not an Aerospace engineer, but it seemed like it really might've been based on real science. Seeing his toys used against him was a twist, but actually pretty awesome. Still, I expected a bit more gadgetry. Not disappointed at all mind you. One technical aspect. Ok most helicopters do not go faster that about 120 MPH. There are some that can, but they're specialty. The "Neutron Bomb" that was a main plot device was stated to have a minimum safe distance of 6 miles. Now there is no WAY that Batman could have gotten the bomb out to sea fast enough AND gotten out, unless he somehow dived underwater to say 100 FT. Neutron Bombs aren't big on overpressure, or "blast wave" and are remarkably "clean". They give off massive doses of Gamma radiation and heat, but otherwise do little physical damage, so even if he had gotten it out to sea, its possible that most of Gotham still would have died, or will die due to cancer.
What I find really fascinating is that after Bane takes control, and uses some key phrases that Occupy Wall Street really likes to throw around, it plays out remarkably close to the French Revolution. Kangaroo Courts, the rich dragged out of their homes and "judged" (see executed) and really things generally turning to shit quickly. This is kind of what you would expect from the mob take over. Had Occupy been armed, had it been more than a bunch of retards you can have no doubt in your mind that it really would have played out like the French Revolution. The movie gives us an "updated" version which is chilling nonetheless. You aren't supposed to have sympathy for rich people in a Hollywood movie, but really in the end, you see they they're just people, and bringing them low, doesn't really make your life better.
I want to end this post on this note. As far as a stand alone Batman movie, this is an awesome film. There was a slight tease to a possible Robin at the end that has me pissed off at Chris Nolan. Seriously Dude, you can't do that to me! Also, for a batman film, you'd be amazed at how little actual Batman there is. Still. . . if you don't see this you deserve a punch in the balls.
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