Ok so I saw Doc Shomaker, and he's the first one to say it, I'm burned out. I suppose when its staring you in the face its kind of hard to deny. He does have a point in that I keep replaying things like a bad looping tape, but lets face it, if you were totally lacking purpose in your life, would you be doing much better?
Well today (friday) is a day off. We (FINALLY) get the three day weekend we were promised for AUSA subscription. $20 for a day away from the med platoon. . . TOTALLY worth it! I mean the last two weeks have been a nearly constant peepee smacking, and when that's not happening I'm sitting on my ass. SSG Tyra said it best, its hard to take pride in something when there's a lot of sitting involved.
Even though the Bn was on red cycle, we were still doing crazy training feild problems, and i guess i can understand why. We go to NTC soon and deploy soon after that, but the Med platoon can barely keep up and, really no offense or anything but Cpt Brock ain't exactly helping matters with the near constant panic mode. Lt Carmen is ok, but, well like most Lt's there are days when you have fantisies of violence that you can't really make happen.
So while the rest of Evac is neck deep in stuff sans Foxworthy, I am sitting on my ass not only feeling useless, but worse pointless. I don't honestly know what is worse. I am trying, but the hope and the giddyness I felt at comming back has fadded and I find myself close yet really far from my goal... being back on the line. It is beyond frusteration and the fact that I am just a wall fixture to my PA don't exactly help matters.
Now, there is an ill defined feild problem, which no one really has any idea what exactly we are doing. Worse than that, we are going for a week, and it seems no one else is going to be doing anything. Since I am not able to drive, and since I am not able to treat patients I am forced to conclude that I will be sitting on my ass in the feild for a week, and praying a stray bullet somewhere takes me out to end my misery. What am I talink about, I'm praying for that now.
I do not think this will end well for the Med platoon, and frankly I think it will end in tear for someone. Not exactly the tiumphant return I had hoped for. God I hate my life.