Don't judge when you see my shoulders sag,
You don't know the weight I carry,
I have trouble opening that bag,
Share my burden? Nothing could be more scary.
There are many things I hide,
I don't know what you'll say if you see,
The things that have wounded and shape me,
Do you think it's easy to confide?
I try to be strong,
But this trial is so long,
I wish this pain would cease,
So I could know some peace.
I let my jokes hide my sorrow,
It's better if you think me witty,
If I'm honest it's hard to maintain,
Because most of the time I just want to cry.
Sometimes I only continue hoping for a better tomorrow,
It keeps my going even when I'm feeing shitty,
Please excuse this lamentable refrain,
Let me go on with this burden, It's better you not pry.
I tried to show my pain to another,
But they left me so now I deal with it
alone, even when I want nothing more than to quit,
Sorry to be a bother.
Please don't ask me to show you my hurt,
I couldn't see pity in your eyes,
That would make me feel lower than dirt,
Please let me tell you "I'm fine" and other lies.
A friend suggested the title after I'd texted her the first stanza. It's been a long time since I've seriously done any kind of poetry and after the last few days, especially after I decided to put up my last post I've been feeling open, raw. I hoe you like this.
As the wife to a Vet with PTSD and the mother to a son with PTSD, you describe what I see. Great job!
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