Happy Birthday General.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
A happy Birthday to a true Southern Gentleman
Today is Robert Edward Lee's Birthday. Among his many accomplishments was to be the first cadet to graduate West Point without a single demerit (they give those out if you're boot isn't polished right, it's almost impossible not to get one) His ample command of Engineering and service in the Mexican American War, as well as his most notable feat, single highhandedly keeping the Confederacy alive through 1864-65.
Happy Birthday General.
Happy Birthday General.
Forgivness is not easy
To this day I have yet to meet another man that has been broken up with during sex. Having said that, I do not think it is unreasonable for me as a man to be completely and utterly perplexed by this. How did this happen. Why? To this day I'm still puzzling it out. One second everything is fine the next WHAM! curve ball gets away from the pitcher and now you're seeing stars.
Was this negociable, whas there something I could do differently, when had this descision been made? Answers I would rightly deserve and have yet to recieve. It does not help that this is a woman I've know my whole life and was deeply in love with. Perhaps the last woman I can honestly say I was in love with. The next day we had breakfast like aquantences. We might as well have had a meeting about the layout of an office.
It did not help matters that apparently my mom knew and completely understood why she left me. Apparently she knew all along that this would happen and was under the assumption that it was mutual. I'm here to tell you it most certainly was not. Why did she leave me? Well according to my mom she really wanted to get married. . . ok . . . and as a (then) 26 year old with two tours to Iraq, I didn't? Actually I was planning on it. I didn't have the whole plan fleshed out but yeah I thought that was it. I'd hit a home run. Apparently not.
What efficiencies I might have, I'm not entirely sure. No one's told me, and as time has gone on, I have simply shut people out. I wanted to ask for time. For patients, for help even, but that never happened. Then things got worse. in my second semester at WVU that vile group of scum sucking tabloid wannabes Wikileaks, released the "collateral murder" video. It was not a good thing. I had flashbacks and was in a state of near panic. How I would have killed, or chopped off my own arm if She had somehow come to me. I waited over a year to date again. And the little dating I have done since then could well be called a train wreck. And still this pain persists.
I am now 28. I have prospects but those prospects seem to have more problems than I'm willing to admit to anyone (even myself sometimes). She just got married. I feel deeply betrayed. When I think about it there is that small voice screaming in my head that it should have been me. What has he that I do not? Have I not earned it? Didn't I prove my love? Worse than that I lost one of the last people I can actually turn to.
Last summer I went home for two weeks, and it was a mess, I was stressed out, bills were high, and I was in sorry shape. While visiting my Grandparents I slept in the same room, in the same bed no less that my dad did in his final days. Sitting in a decent reclining office chair (the only decent chair for said purpose in the house) I was leaning back in contemplation of the extreme bills, and how everything depended on me getting a job that like all others is just impossible to predict (pipe-lining is not a way that allows for easy planning) I was stressed out and trying desperatly not to think of how screwed I was. Then my Aunt came in and said "you know that's the chair we found him in" Even the position no less. I waited till my Aunt left then bolted outside. I felt. . . dirty wrong, I felt soiled, and all the things that had been bothering me came to the surface.
In more emotional turmoil than I had since perhaps 2008, I texted Her. Told her the whole thing and how messed up I was. . . . I couldn't tell you what I texted. I can't tell you what my state of mind was, maybe I just wanted to her her voice. Maybe I just wanted someone to tell me that it was alright, but. . . no. I got a call from her new man. I hesitate to call him boy toy, because he actually is an Army officer, and even if I view him as a Jodi, that is respectable. Whatever his name is (don't ask I never bothered to find out) he called and was very sincere that he understood that I was having a rough time. He actually talked to me man to man which I could respect and didn't state or threaten anything, but it was implied. Don't call or text her anymore. Just like that I had lost one of the last people in the world I felt truly safe confiding in.
Once. A long time ago I visited a fortune teller who read my palm, and told me that fatherhood would be very important to me. She told me that it would happen sometime *roughly* after next year. But now as I try to move on, the hurt, the emptiness She left me with, have given me an inability to trust the fairer sex. Even when I know they love me, I keep them at arms length. How can I forgive someone I'm still in love with? Still from the darkest corners of my mind I hear the words of Mecrutio, a plague upon your houses.
It is a question I will grapple with for a long time. How do I forgive this devastating blow, that I can't even understand? If I could not see it in someone I knew like the back of my hand, how could I possibly not expect it from a stranger? Does any woman honestly expect me to just be fine after all I've been through?
The bitch of it is, the most important questions in life, never seem to have an answer.
Was this negociable, whas there something I could do differently, when had this descision been made? Answers I would rightly deserve and have yet to recieve. It does not help that this is a woman I've know my whole life and was deeply in love with. Perhaps the last woman I can honestly say I was in love with. The next day we had breakfast like aquantences. We might as well have had a meeting about the layout of an office.
It did not help matters that apparently my mom knew and completely understood why she left me. Apparently she knew all along that this would happen and was under the assumption that it was mutual. I'm here to tell you it most certainly was not. Why did she leave me? Well according to my mom she really wanted to get married. . . ok . . . and as a (then) 26 year old with two tours to Iraq, I didn't? Actually I was planning on it. I didn't have the whole plan fleshed out but yeah I thought that was it. I'd hit a home run. Apparently not.
What efficiencies I might have, I'm not entirely sure. No one's told me, and as time has gone on, I have simply shut people out. I wanted to ask for time. For patients, for help even, but that never happened. Then things got worse. in my second semester at WVU that vile group of scum sucking tabloid wannabes Wikileaks, released the "collateral murder" video. It was not a good thing. I had flashbacks and was in a state of near panic. How I would have killed, or chopped off my own arm if She had somehow come to me. I waited over a year to date again. And the little dating I have done since then could well be called a train wreck. And still this pain persists.
I am now 28. I have prospects but those prospects seem to have more problems than I'm willing to admit to anyone (even myself sometimes). She just got married. I feel deeply betrayed. When I think about it there is that small voice screaming in my head that it should have been me. What has he that I do not? Have I not earned it? Didn't I prove my love? Worse than that I lost one of the last people I can actually turn to.
Last summer I went home for two weeks, and it was a mess, I was stressed out, bills were high, and I was in sorry shape. While visiting my Grandparents I slept in the same room, in the same bed no less that my dad did in his final days. Sitting in a decent reclining office chair (the only decent chair for said purpose in the house) I was leaning back in contemplation of the extreme bills, and how everything depended on me getting a job that like all others is just impossible to predict (pipe-lining is not a way that allows for easy planning) I was stressed out and trying desperatly not to think of how screwed I was. Then my Aunt came in and said "you know that's the chair we found him in" Even the position no less. I waited till my Aunt left then bolted outside. I felt. . . dirty wrong, I felt soiled, and all the things that had been bothering me came to the surface.
In more emotional turmoil than I had since perhaps 2008, I texted Her. Told her the whole thing and how messed up I was. . . . I couldn't tell you what I texted. I can't tell you what my state of mind was, maybe I just wanted to her her voice. Maybe I just wanted someone to tell me that it was alright, but. . . no. I got a call from her new man. I hesitate to call him boy toy, because he actually is an Army officer, and even if I view him as a Jodi, that is respectable. Whatever his name is (don't ask I never bothered to find out) he called and was very sincere that he understood that I was having a rough time. He actually talked to me man to man which I could respect and didn't state or threaten anything, but it was implied. Don't call or text her anymore. Just like that I had lost one of the last people in the world I felt truly safe confiding in.
Once. A long time ago I visited a fortune teller who read my palm, and told me that fatherhood would be very important to me. She told me that it would happen sometime *roughly* after next year. But now as I try to move on, the hurt, the emptiness She left me with, have given me an inability to trust the fairer sex. Even when I know they love me, I keep them at arms length. How can I forgive someone I'm still in love with? Still from the darkest corners of my mind I hear the words of Mecrutio, a plague upon your houses.
It is a question I will grapple with for a long time. How do I forgive this devastating blow, that I can't even understand? If I could not see it in someone I knew like the back of my hand, how could I possibly not expect it from a stranger? Does any woman honestly expect me to just be fine after all I've been through?
The bitch of it is, the most important questions in life, never seem to have an answer.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
First Formation (again)
For the first time in over 3 years I was in an real actual Army formation. It was for a dinky little 1 credit pt class, but at the same time, it was so good to return to familiar ground. Old habits came back and if there was frustration that the gentleman leading it was perhaps a little slow on the uptake, and the civilians in the class were clueless, it was all mitigated by the fact that I was, in some small way a part of the Green (though for some reason we don't wear Green anymore) Machine once again.
This re-affirmed my desire to join the NG, and to make sure I become an officer. I am going to have it all. Even if the road to get back in is longer than I anticipated.
This re-affirmed my desire to join the NG, and to make sure I become an officer. I am going to have it all. Even if the road to get back in is longer than I anticipated.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Bradley Manning, the Benidict Arnold (Rosenburg, or John Walker Lynn) of our time.
Treason. Its a word with frightening connotations. It raises up the most foul parts of our minds, it raises to the mind men who hide out in the night and do the most foul type of betrayal. However there have only in our history been 12 people ever tried on treason. Even if the dictionary definition of Treason doesn't match the legal one, we are nevertheless susceptible to such things. In the information age, betrayal becomes far more calamitous.
How much damage could be done from classified information? A lot. Take the 12 July 2007 incident, where Bravo Company and Mortar Platoon of 2-16 Infantry came under sporadic fire from insurgents. The Apaches circling from overhead part of the 227th Aviation regiment, engaged valid targets (3 times), according to the Rules of Engagement. Unfortunately the second time, the target in question was actually not a military target. In the process a journalist was killed, as well as a family. Now this is a sad event in a lot of ways. It was, however, not unknown. Indeed the information about the incident (general details) were made available to anyone that wished to find out and indeed Washington Post Author David Finkle had written about it (see "the Good Soldiers")
The Video itself was not shown for rather obvious reasons. Its one thing to hear that people were killed. It quite another to actually see it. In an information war, it is very hard to maintain the fact that we are the good guys when every misstep or even when legitimate military goals are called into question. Indeed our enemies are not anywhere near under the same pressure to never ever ever screw up. This is a microscope that is not on Soldiers, but on all of the government. State Department is one of the many departments that was included in this data dump. Can you honestly think of anyone more petulant than politicians? Even the politicians held up as model, when truly examined, leave much to be desired.
How much damage was done by trying to "shed light" on the "truth"? Well when actual informants are named my name, and location. . . Quite a lot. Add to that the fodder it gave for Jihadists, and it killed credibility a serious issue. This credibility is something that has steadily been declining since Vietnam, when we cut and run, leaving our friends and allies to the whims of our enemies. The result was a lack of credibility. This was repeated again and again when we did not keep our word to our friends. We left the Mujahadeen to their own devices after they won in Afghanistan in the late 80's. They slipped into the Taliban. How could we have avoided that, and possibly even turned Osama bin Laden into an ally. In Iraq in '91, we heavily insinuated that if the Shi'ia in the south and Kurds in the North rose up, we would support them. They did. We did not. They were slaughtered. The same could be said about Somalia in October '93, we cut an run, and out regional allies took a beating for it.
Can you honestly say that this is in anyway in anyone's best interest? Secrets are, rather unfortunately, a part of statecraft. Far from hiding it, we admit our mistakes. But what Manning has done is far from admitting mistakes, it is like a gossip tabloid accusation. does anyone deny that War is ugly? Confronting such truths are difficult, but it is not entirely necessary to force feed people such images. Worse the decisions made in combat are such that you can not understand them when not under threat. What makes sense when you are in mortal danger is not the same as if you are safe and sound.
With that in mind Manning has given up the "fort" of vital national importance. That this fort is not an actual location is of no importance. It is information, that provided for whatever reason has been used by the enemy. If, as it seems to indicate, that he did this for petty reasons that makes the offense all the worse.
Bradley Manning's Article 32 hearing (the hearing to determine if he should go to full Court Martial) was entirely bizzare, with his defense council throwing out all sorts of things. He is sexually confused, so he couldn't understand it was wrong to betray his country. He showed signs of being unreliable, so obviously he should never been trusted in the first place. Why did one person have so much access to so much information in the first place? His lawyers have tried to blame everything under the sun other than PFC Manning. Rather than raise reasonable doubt, they try to blame and excuse everything.
We are left with a legacy of a gaping hole in our national defense, and a little piss ant that wanted to get back at the country, for what it is not entirely clear. People are calling him a "hero". Do such people know heroism? People call him a whistle blower. On what exactly? Did any of the information he released involve anything that a person could not find the general details of, if they actually did any serious digging? At what point do you admit that what you have is not heroism but rather a vindictive little shit that should get nothing more than a boot up the ass.
How much damage could be done from classified information? A lot. Take the 12 July 2007 incident, where Bravo Company and Mortar Platoon of 2-16 Infantry came under sporadic fire from insurgents. The Apaches circling from overhead part of the 227th Aviation regiment, engaged valid targets (3 times), according to the Rules of Engagement. Unfortunately the second time, the target in question was actually not a military target. In the process a journalist was killed, as well as a family. Now this is a sad event in a lot of ways. It was, however, not unknown. Indeed the information about the incident (general details) were made available to anyone that wished to find out and indeed Washington Post Author David Finkle had written about it (see "the Good Soldiers")
The Video itself was not shown for rather obvious reasons. Its one thing to hear that people were killed. It quite another to actually see it. In an information war, it is very hard to maintain the fact that we are the good guys when every misstep or even when legitimate military goals are called into question. Indeed our enemies are not anywhere near under the same pressure to never ever ever screw up. This is a microscope that is not on Soldiers, but on all of the government. State Department is one of the many departments that was included in this data dump. Can you honestly think of anyone more petulant than politicians? Even the politicians held up as model, when truly examined, leave much to be desired.
How much damage was done by trying to "shed light" on the "truth"? Well when actual informants are named my name, and location. . . Quite a lot. Add to that the fodder it gave for Jihadists, and it killed credibility a serious issue. This credibility is something that has steadily been declining since Vietnam, when we cut and run, leaving our friends and allies to the whims of our enemies. The result was a lack of credibility. This was repeated again and again when we did not keep our word to our friends. We left the Mujahadeen to their own devices after they won in Afghanistan in the late 80's. They slipped into the Taliban. How could we have avoided that, and possibly even turned Osama bin Laden into an ally. In Iraq in '91, we heavily insinuated that if the Shi'ia in the south and Kurds in the North rose up, we would support them. They did. We did not. They were slaughtered. The same could be said about Somalia in October '93, we cut an run, and out regional allies took a beating for it.
Can you honestly say that this is in anyway in anyone's best interest? Secrets are, rather unfortunately, a part of statecraft. Far from hiding it, we admit our mistakes. But what Manning has done is far from admitting mistakes, it is like a gossip tabloid accusation. does anyone deny that War is ugly? Confronting such truths are difficult, but it is not entirely necessary to force feed people such images. Worse the decisions made in combat are such that you can not understand them when not under threat. What makes sense when you are in mortal danger is not the same as if you are safe and sound.
With that in mind Manning has given up the "fort" of vital national importance. That this fort is not an actual location is of no importance. It is information, that provided for whatever reason has been used by the enemy. If, as it seems to indicate, that he did this for petty reasons that makes the offense all the worse.
Bradley Manning's Article 32 hearing (the hearing to determine if he should go to full Court Martial) was entirely bizzare, with his defense council throwing out all sorts of things. He is sexually confused, so he couldn't understand it was wrong to betray his country. He showed signs of being unreliable, so obviously he should never been trusted in the first place. Why did one person have so much access to so much information in the first place? His lawyers have tried to blame everything under the sun other than PFC Manning. Rather than raise reasonable doubt, they try to blame and excuse everything.
We are left with a legacy of a gaping hole in our national defense, and a little piss ant that wanted to get back at the country, for what it is not entirely clear. People are calling him a "hero". Do such people know heroism? People call him a whistle blower. On what exactly? Did any of the information he released involve anything that a person could not find the general details of, if they actually did any serious digging? At what point do you admit that what you have is not heroism but rather a vindictive little shit that should get nothing more than a boot up the ass.
PTSD. From Rambo to Every Former Military Man turned Criminal how you've all gotten it wrong.
Do you remember ADHD? It was perhaps the hot button diagnosis in the 80's and 90's as a child I took so many tests to confirm that yes in fact not only did I have a short attention span (in some areas) but also that I was remarkably good with abstract reasoning. Now throw in hyper and yup thats me. But was I just a kid, or was it really this mythical monster of a syndrome that made me somehow incapable of preforming in school? Chances are that I was just a kid that didn't really know his place in the world.
I was stubborn so obviously I had Oppositional Defiant Disorder (I guess I am an ODD one). At one point I had Aspburgers, and Type C Dyslexia. I think there were a ton of other things I was diagnosed with as well. My point in this is simple. If you'd read half the reports generated about me you'd assume that I was probably going to light the school on fire or something. But if you met me as a child you'd have met a bright and naive kid who was generally a bit too eager to please. I can not begin to guess what effect the myriad of drugs used on me might've had and who I might've been had I not taken them. Where would I be now?
My parents loved me. They wanted me to succeed, and sadly like every age they were susceptible to quack science. We laugh now about the turn of the century when it seemed like a good idea to run electricity through a copper bath full of water, but at the time people really thought that was a good idea. So to in the 80's and 90's were we susseptable to the drug fueled obsessions with fixing brain chemistry.
But PTSD is different. It is not something that is caused by genetics. It is caused by events. Powerful events that would *normally* leave a person quivering in fear. Some people think that it is because the adrenalin spikes so high, when afraid that is causes memories to be sharper. For whatever reason our responses to traumatic events has elicited the same response from society as Electricity, and ADHD before it. Namely that Quacks everywhere want their $.02 heard.
Now the popular depiction of PTSD (before we ever really talked about it) was Rambo, who went nuts and attacked a corrupt sheriff and his deputies and turns a town into a war-zone. I have no doubt that if a Soldier really desired to destroy a town they could do it (not alone, and with one M-60, but they could do it). For most of the movie he's being chased for no apparent reason until they push him too far then he turns into this thing out of your nightmares, able to kill with little or no effort while toying with you. Great movie. And people miss the most important part of the whole thing. Namely the last five minuets.
You see horrific things, and it really really hurts. Men you knew were killed. You enemy, your friends, Death which seemed to be everwhere and nowhere, and always, always, Fear. It is poorly understood by people, how bonds can become so strong, in war, that little can ever compare, and how fragile a person can be when those bonds are shattered. Nor can they understand the sorrow. Sorrow that can strike at a moments notice. You weep for the dead, and the youth that was lost, both theirs, and in a selfish sort of way, yours. Once you were young and whole, and now struggle daily with bitterness.
It is also clear that people by and large do not understand the anger. People seem to think that every Veteran wants to harm them, or will cut loose with their anger, but actually most of the time they desire to be alone. Their quick tempers are not really directed at anyone but more a statement. "I am angry at the world for the injustice that forced me to fight" is something they might well say. I know its what I say. Even the alcoholism and addiction to drugs that is prevalent is easily explainable with this simple truth: they don't want to feel so much pain anymore.
Further to that, despite their ability to go all free fire mode, and start killing everyone they see, that is actually the exact opposite that most people that suffer from this want. More than anything they want peace. Not the kind that hippies blather on about, but real lasting peace, the kind that comes from within. Tormented as they are, by their memories they're far more likely to commit suicide than any act of violence. The very perception that they are killers that want to go hog wild is actually part of what keeps them so isolated. Audie Murphy, one of this nation's greatest heroes, became addicted to sleeping pills, and always had a separate apartment built into the house he lived in, for when things got to be too much. If it can happen to him do you really think it can't happen to you?
Lastly the Flashbacks and Nightmares. I would ask you this, do you day dream? Do you ever think of things that have happened to you? Do memories pop unbidden into your mind? Chances are you said yes to all of these. Now, try to understand when excessive levels of adrenaline are pumping through your system, your perceptions (and memories) become far clearer. Imagine the sharpest memory you have, now imagine it sharper and clearer. So clear you could almost live in that memory, and you might understand what its like to have a combat memory. Your memory of a lover, a teacher or a dog will trigger when you see a familiar sight sound or smell. Why do you think the sharpest clearest memory possible to a human would be any less? And if the night is a time for the subconscious to roam free as it were, don't you think the most powerful memories you literally can not get rid of, might cause your sleep to suck?
The real tragedy is that because there are so few people that have served, and because the public has largely ignored the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, these men and women are far more isolated. Only Vietnam veterans were as isolated, their isolation more because of scorn than because of their disproportionately small portion of society. They are further isolated by stereotypes that both Hollywood and the News Mediums perpetuate. The idea of the animal in a cage, waiting to loose his rage on the world, is something that will keep far too many Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans from seeking the help they need and so deserve.
I was stubborn so obviously I had Oppositional Defiant Disorder (I guess I am an ODD one). At one point I had Aspburgers, and Type C Dyslexia. I think there were a ton of other things I was diagnosed with as well. My point in this is simple. If you'd read half the reports generated about me you'd assume that I was probably going to light the school on fire or something. But if you met me as a child you'd have met a bright and naive kid who was generally a bit too eager to please. I can not begin to guess what effect the myriad of drugs used on me might've had and who I might've been had I not taken them. Where would I be now?
My parents loved me. They wanted me to succeed, and sadly like every age they were susceptible to quack science. We laugh now about the turn of the century when it seemed like a good idea to run electricity through a copper bath full of water, but at the time people really thought that was a good idea. So to in the 80's and 90's were we susseptable to the drug fueled obsessions with fixing brain chemistry.
But PTSD is different. It is not something that is caused by genetics. It is caused by events. Powerful events that would *normally* leave a person quivering in fear. Some people think that it is because the adrenalin spikes so high, when afraid that is causes memories to be sharper. For whatever reason our responses to traumatic events has elicited the same response from society as Electricity, and ADHD before it. Namely that Quacks everywhere want their $.02 heard.
Now the popular depiction of PTSD (before we ever really talked about it) was Rambo, who went nuts and attacked a corrupt sheriff and his deputies and turns a town into a war-zone. I have no doubt that if a Soldier really desired to destroy a town they could do it (not alone, and with one M-60, but they could do it). For most of the movie he's being chased for no apparent reason until they push him too far then he turns into this thing out of your nightmares, able to kill with little or no effort while toying with you. Great movie. And people miss the most important part of the whole thing. Namely the last five minuets.
You see horrific things, and it really really hurts. Men you knew were killed. You enemy, your friends, Death which seemed to be everwhere and nowhere, and always, always, Fear. It is poorly understood by people, how bonds can become so strong, in war, that little can ever compare, and how fragile a person can be when those bonds are shattered. Nor can they understand the sorrow. Sorrow that can strike at a moments notice. You weep for the dead, and the youth that was lost, both theirs, and in a selfish sort of way, yours. Once you were young and whole, and now struggle daily with bitterness.
It is also clear that people by and large do not understand the anger. People seem to think that every Veteran wants to harm them, or will cut loose with their anger, but actually most of the time they desire to be alone. Their quick tempers are not really directed at anyone but more a statement. "I am angry at the world for the injustice that forced me to fight" is something they might well say. I know its what I say. Even the alcoholism and addiction to drugs that is prevalent is easily explainable with this simple truth: they don't want to feel so much pain anymore.
Further to that, despite their ability to go all free fire mode, and start killing everyone they see, that is actually the exact opposite that most people that suffer from this want. More than anything they want peace. Not the kind that hippies blather on about, but real lasting peace, the kind that comes from within. Tormented as they are, by their memories they're far more likely to commit suicide than any act of violence. The very perception that they are killers that want to go hog wild is actually part of what keeps them so isolated. Audie Murphy, one of this nation's greatest heroes, became addicted to sleeping pills, and always had a separate apartment built into the house he lived in, for when things got to be too much. If it can happen to him do you really think it can't happen to you?
Lastly the Flashbacks and Nightmares. I would ask you this, do you day dream? Do you ever think of things that have happened to you? Do memories pop unbidden into your mind? Chances are you said yes to all of these. Now, try to understand when excessive levels of adrenaline are pumping through your system, your perceptions (and memories) become far clearer. Imagine the sharpest memory you have, now imagine it sharper and clearer. So clear you could almost live in that memory, and you might understand what its like to have a combat memory. Your memory of a lover, a teacher or a dog will trigger when you see a familiar sight sound or smell. Why do you think the sharpest clearest memory possible to a human would be any less? And if the night is a time for the subconscious to roam free as it were, don't you think the most powerful memories you literally can not get rid of, might cause your sleep to suck?
The real tragedy is that because there are so few people that have served, and because the public has largely ignored the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, these men and women are far more isolated. Only Vietnam veterans were as isolated, their isolation more because of scorn than because of their disproportionately small portion of society. They are further isolated by stereotypes that both Hollywood and the News Mediums perpetuate. The idea of the animal in a cage, waiting to loose his rage on the world, is something that will keep far too many Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans from seeking the help they need and so deserve.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
You get what you (don't) pay for
Real quick, why do things cost so much now a days? Is it because of greedy company men? Or what about the fact that they pay their staff peanuts. It seems one could make a very decent argument that the cost of things is a sign that our system has failed. One problem. Our system that people who are not jackasses pay into. . . Is supporting all the jack asses that say "gimme" and get.
Let's take Walmart. Do you know how much money each store loses per year? On average about $30,000 a year.
Think about that for a second. What do you think you could do with $30K? Now multiply that by thousands, because Walmart is ubiquitous. Walmart Inc. Is literally losing MILLIONS. Keep in mind that Walmart is doing a better job of providing services to the poor than our own Government. Now ask yourself if each Walmart store is losing on average $30K a year (most of that in Electronics and Cosmetics) how much you think Best Buy, Maceys, Sears, and just for shits and giggles, Victoria Secret loses. I'd be willing to bet the figure nation wide is in the Billions.
Now ask yourself who pays for that? If your a consumer... You do. That money has to come from somewhere. You can't take a hit like that and stay in business. Imagine that billions of dollars a year went back into the system? I don't doubt for a second it would be sufficient to at the very least quell our financial woes. The same principle is applied to healthcare. Ever wonder why an IV filled with salt water (that's all Saline is) costs $100? You and another person ate paying for three bums that didn't pay. It applies to Auto insurance. Pick anything. I bet there's cost built in for people that don't pay.
With this in mind it takes a certain sort of crazy to even TRY to contemplate how the Government acuires and spends Tax Dollars. How much do you think is built into THAT system for graft? It makes you really start to understand the scope and scale of our problems. Problems which are aided by not our enemies but the same folks we are trying to help.
In the end you can do little to nothing, be a welfare queen, baby mama king, and still live a comfortable life. You can lie cheat and steal and *sadly* make it for a time. Unfortunately in the end your crimes (whether wit a small c or a big C) are not and never have been "victimless". Sure you say it's Walmart (or the gub'ment) they can take it. They can, only so long as the cost of your pilfering is passed on. Ultimately you victims aren't only existent, but everyone in this country. Congradupations thieves. You're officially the biggest Dick in the country.
Think about that for a second. What do you think you could do with $30K? Now multiply that by thousands, because Walmart is ubiquitous. Walmart Inc. Is literally losing MILLIONS. Keep in mind that Walmart is doing a better job of providing services to the poor than our own Government. Now ask yourself if each Walmart store is losing on average $30K a year (most of that in Electronics and Cosmetics) how much you think Best Buy, Maceys, Sears, and just for shits and giggles, Victoria Secret loses. I'd be willing to bet the figure nation wide is in the Billions.
Now ask yourself who pays for that? If your a consumer... You do. That money has to come from somewhere. You can't take a hit like that and stay in business. Imagine that billions of dollars a year went back into the system? I don't doubt for a second it would be sufficient to at the very least quell our financial woes. The same principle is applied to healthcare. Ever wonder why an IV filled with salt water (that's all Saline is) costs $100? You and another person ate paying for three bums that didn't pay. It applies to Auto insurance. Pick anything. I bet there's cost built in for people that don't pay.
With this in mind it takes a certain sort of crazy to even TRY to contemplate how the Government acuires and spends Tax Dollars. How much do you think is built into THAT system for graft? It makes you really start to understand the scope and scale of our problems. Problems which are aided by not our enemies but the same folks we are trying to help.
In the end you can do little to nothing, be a welfare queen, baby mama king, and still live a comfortable life. You can lie cheat and steal and *sadly* make it for a time. Unfortunately in the end your crimes (whether wit a small c or a big C) are not and never have been "victimless". Sure you say it's Walmart (or the gub'ment) they can take it. They can, only so long as the cost of your pilfering is passed on. Ultimately you victims aren't only existent, but everyone in this country. Congradupations thieves. You're officially the biggest Dick in the country.
When Caveman Responses Don't work.
My computer is going so slow that it is nearly impossible to write this entry. Unfortunately according to "Geek Squad" at best buy it is a sign of components failing, and perhaps that my computer is about to take a nose dive.
I guess this might be because I have been beating on the laptop every time it fails to work. I need a new computer, so I briefly looked while I was at Best Buy. Well the nicer one I looked was about $600. I guess it doesn't really matter that it may be months before I get that much saved up.
Well if you don't hear from me for a long while You'll know my faithful computer which has been with me since the Surge, has finally fallen due to old age.
I guess this might be because I have been beating on the laptop every time it fails to work. I need a new computer, so I briefly looked while I was at Best Buy. Well the nicer one I looked was about $600. I guess it doesn't really matter that it may be months before I get that much saved up.
Well if you don't hear from me for a long while You'll know my faithful computer which has been with me since the Surge, has finally fallen due to old age.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Are you a Something or a Someone?
Are you Gay or Strait? White, Black, Asian or Other? Male or Female? Are you a Soldier Fighter-fighter, Policeman, Office Worker Tattoo Artist or any of a myriad of professions? Are you Liberal or Conservative? Are you Christian, Jew Muslim, Hindi, or Atheist? Chances are there are a ton of things you use to identify yourself. Any number of adjectives could be used to describe an individual. We do a lot of things that define us, these are all Things. Things own, Things we are that define us.
"I am a [insert group or description here] man/woman/other"
these statements are all about who we are as we present ourselves to others. Does it have to be that way? Barney Frank is all about being Gay. So are a ton of other people. But what about Jody Foster? She's pretty well clear that she's Gay, but its not WHO she is. The same could be said about Neil Patrick Harris. Anyone that's seen any of the Harold and Kumar movies or How I Met Your Mother can tell that though he's gay its not Who he is, its something he happens to be.
The same could be said about race. Look at Jessie Jackson, or Maxine Waters. Believe me there is a ton of things that they feel are important, mostly that Black men and women are getting screwed, and more often than not its your fault. Now look at Allen West. Here is a Lieutenant Colonel in the Army, his career is long and illustrious, which ended when he made a call under extreme stress, a call that if placed in a similar situation a lot of arm chair generals, despite saying otherwise would probably have made the same call. Now he's a US Representative, and despite being a "Freshman" has managed to elbow his way to the forefront of a lot of policy matters. He also happens to be a Black man.
See the difference? What you are is not Who you are. I was a Soldier. I know how powerful it can be to be a Something. That Uniform defined me. I did not want to think of life outside the Army because being a soldier became who I was. It doesn't matter what label you choose to identify with, what role you fill in your life can easily become your defining characteristic. When something gives you purpose it can easily become your purpose.
Perhaps America could best solve its problems by first solving its outlook. We run around looking for things to define us. How about we just be. Instead of trying to say "I am [insert something]" Say simply "I am [insert name]" All the rest can come later. Remember these things are What you are, not Who you are.
"I am a [insert group or description here] man/woman/other"
these statements are all about who we are as we present ourselves to others. Does it have to be that way? Barney Frank is all about being Gay. So are a ton of other people. But what about Jody Foster? She's pretty well clear that she's Gay, but its not WHO she is. The same could be said about Neil Patrick Harris. Anyone that's seen any of the Harold and Kumar movies or How I Met Your Mother can tell that though he's gay its not Who he is, its something he happens to be.
The same could be said about race. Look at Jessie Jackson, or Maxine Waters. Believe me there is a ton of things that they feel are important, mostly that Black men and women are getting screwed, and more often than not its your fault. Now look at Allen West. Here is a Lieutenant Colonel in the Army, his career is long and illustrious, which ended when he made a call under extreme stress, a call that if placed in a similar situation a lot of arm chair generals, despite saying otherwise would probably have made the same call. Now he's a US Representative, and despite being a "Freshman" has managed to elbow his way to the forefront of a lot of policy matters. He also happens to be a Black man.
See the difference? What you are is not Who you are. I was a Soldier. I know how powerful it can be to be a Something. That Uniform defined me. I did not want to think of life outside the Army because being a soldier became who I was. It doesn't matter what label you choose to identify with, what role you fill in your life can easily become your defining characteristic. When something gives you purpose it can easily become your purpose.
Perhaps America could best solve its problems by first solving its outlook. We run around looking for things to define us. How about we just be. Instead of trying to say "I am [insert something]" Say simply "I am [insert name]" All the rest can come later. Remember these things are What you are, not Who you are.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Here we go again.
Amid talk of reducing the DoD, and counter talk of a "Hallowed out Force", we get Iran making waves. They recently threatened to attack if the US moved a Carrier into the Gulf. This threat is somewhat laughable when you consider that Iran was never a really power when it comes to Naval forces, though they have recently come to our hemisphere to conduct joint exercises with Venezuela (another country that absolutely loves us) . Now the US is sending a Carrier group to the Arabian Sea. The USS Carl Vinson (CVN-70) the same carrier they dumped Osama off the back of, is now headed to the Arabian Sea
Now we are all used to saber rattling. This is something new. See normally the Saber rattlers would back down *eventually* because they could be certain if they actually provoked the US we could or would bomb them back into the stone age. Iran knows that on the stocks we have now, we have the capability to do so, but they do not believe we have the Will to do so. Further our own government is hobbled by debt, and unable to steer a course though.
Where does that leave us? Do we dare back down? Certainly there are more than enough assets in country that you don't need a carrier off the coast (which has to fly through Pakistan) to provide Close Air Support (CAS). But a Carrier Battle Group is one of the things that is one of the more visible pieces of foreign policy. Its like having a Queen on a Chess board, she can go anywhere do anything, and most certainly can ruin your day if you're not paying attention.
Sometimes they carry Nukes, their support ships are enough to make a bad day for any surface threat, and can be detached to prowl, a couple of 688 (Los Angeles Class) Submarines could ruin a surface ships day. As of yet the Iranian Navy does not have anything equlivant to a Carrier Battle Group in firepower. So its a no brainer to us at least.
So what is the Ace in the hole? Why are they certain they can manage this threat? Its a question we should be asking. We are always certain of victory. But we ought to start questioning this more and more, with the drastic cuts made, one must wonder how long our winning streak will continue.
Now we are all used to saber rattling. This is something new. See normally the Saber rattlers would back down *eventually* because they could be certain if they actually provoked the US we could or would bomb them back into the stone age. Iran knows that on the stocks we have now, we have the capability to do so, but they do not believe we have the Will to do so. Further our own government is hobbled by debt, and unable to steer a course though.
Where does that leave us? Do we dare back down? Certainly there are more than enough assets in country that you don't need a carrier off the coast (which has to fly through Pakistan) to provide Close Air Support (CAS). But a Carrier Battle Group is one of the things that is one of the more visible pieces of foreign policy. Its like having a Queen on a Chess board, she can go anywhere do anything, and most certainly can ruin your day if you're not paying attention.
Sometimes they carry Nukes, their support ships are enough to make a bad day for any surface threat, and can be detached to prowl, a couple of 688 (Los Angeles Class) Submarines could ruin a surface ships day. As of yet the Iranian Navy does not have anything equlivant to a Carrier Battle Group in firepower. So its a no brainer to us at least.
So what is the Ace in the hole? Why are they certain they can manage this threat? Its a question we should be asking. We are always certain of victory. But we ought to start questioning this more and more, with the drastic cuts made, one must wonder how long our winning streak will continue.
Intellectual Cowardice.
We all know there are cowards on the Battlefield. Men (and now women) who give into panic, selfishness or sometimes simple greed, to leave their jobs, or avoid the danger (or responsibility) of their profession. We have seen, in recent years a small smattering of such men that have, like as in Vietnam, run, and gone up to Canada. We know of these men because the Liberal Left, and aging hippies hold them up as paragons of heroic virtue, but really most of us would have no clue who these people were otherwise, nor would we really like them much. Indeed CNN was all about Abdo Nasser until he got caught trying to bomb Ft Hood.
Now you can make all the arguments you want, the point is that before he went AWOL, he had Kiddy porn on his computer and refused to deploy. He had lots of Anti-war folks supporting him, and rooting for him, then he gets caught trying to throw a Jihad on our asses. Heaven forbid we should ever look deeper into that. Indeed apparently Major Nadal Hassan, who young Abdo was trying to emulate wasn't really on a Jihad, he was just committing "Workplace Violence". It makes one wonder when there IS a reason to question Muslims about the extreme violence.
There is such a thing as Intellectual Cowardice. It is when a person faced with Facts, Experience, and Logic, refuses to admit they are wrong. This can be anything from Communists, to the FLDS, when you ignore things that tell you you're failing miserably, or that your whole philosophical viewpoint is leading you to ruin, then you are a coward. Time and again we are always given clear indication of when things just won't work and we tend to ignore them.
This is not limited to simply Economic or Cultural matters. For instance there are a ton of people who believe very firmly that we have never been to the Moon, or that 9/11 was an inside job. Such people will point to minutiae, and totally ignore the more obvious and glaring facts. One person said that there was a C-130 in the area of the pentagon when it was hit, and posited that a cruise missile was shoved out the back. Never mind that you literally can't launch a cruise missile that way. Or saying "why aren't there holes where the wings went in" or perhaps "why aren't there more pieces of the plane" which would make sense, unless you counted for the fact the aluminum, is rather fragile, and indeed flammable. Don't believe me, take a soda can, throw it into a fire, wait ten minuets and then try to fish it out. Its like paper. I could talk about the force involved when flight 93 barreled into the ground at almost 600 MPH, but that would be beating a dead horse.
This cowardice is perhaps the worst kind, because it is a cowardice that will often lead others astray. You can have all sorts of great arguments for or against something, but in the end your efforts will be doomed to failure if you are not prepared to admit when you're wrong.
Modern Academia is perhaps the worst offender. How many young minds are filled with all sorts of thoughts and philosophies that their professors espouse? Being in College I see it all the time. Young eager impressionable minds given all sorts of bunkas, about any number of subjects. One teacher I had even tried to sell me on the idea of a centrally planned economy. I haven't really bothered to debate them, because my grade depends on their good will. Pissing them off tends to be costly to my continued success in classes.
I think its fitting to leave you with this thought. It comes from an EO NCO for my Brigade in Hawaii. "Challenge your perceptions or they'll challenge you". Sound advise, and one that I think Americans have failed to do for too long.
Now you can make all the arguments you want, the point is that before he went AWOL, he had Kiddy porn on his computer and refused to deploy. He had lots of Anti-war folks supporting him, and rooting for him, then he gets caught trying to throw a Jihad on our asses. Heaven forbid we should ever look deeper into that. Indeed apparently Major Nadal Hassan, who young Abdo was trying to emulate wasn't really on a Jihad, he was just committing "Workplace Violence". It makes one wonder when there IS a reason to question Muslims about the extreme violence.
There is such a thing as Intellectual Cowardice. It is when a person faced with Facts, Experience, and Logic, refuses to admit they are wrong. This can be anything from Communists, to the FLDS, when you ignore things that tell you you're failing miserably, or that your whole philosophical viewpoint is leading you to ruin, then you are a coward. Time and again we are always given clear indication of when things just won't work and we tend to ignore them.
This is not limited to simply Economic or Cultural matters. For instance there are a ton of people who believe very firmly that we have never been to the Moon, or that 9/11 was an inside job. Such people will point to minutiae, and totally ignore the more obvious and glaring facts. One person said that there was a C-130 in the area of the pentagon when it was hit, and posited that a cruise missile was shoved out the back. Never mind that you literally can't launch a cruise missile that way. Or saying "why aren't there holes where the wings went in" or perhaps "why aren't there more pieces of the plane" which would make sense, unless you counted for the fact the aluminum, is rather fragile, and indeed flammable. Don't believe me, take a soda can, throw it into a fire, wait ten minuets and then try to fish it out. Its like paper. I could talk about the force involved when flight 93 barreled into the ground at almost 600 MPH, but that would be beating a dead horse.
This cowardice is perhaps the worst kind, because it is a cowardice that will often lead others astray. You can have all sorts of great arguments for or against something, but in the end your efforts will be doomed to failure if you are not prepared to admit when you're wrong.
Modern Academia is perhaps the worst offender. How many young minds are filled with all sorts of thoughts and philosophies that their professors espouse? Being in College I see it all the time. Young eager impressionable minds given all sorts of bunkas, about any number of subjects. One teacher I had even tried to sell me on the idea of a centrally planned economy. I haven't really bothered to debate them, because my grade depends on their good will. Pissing them off tends to be costly to my continued success in classes.
I think its fitting to leave you with this thought. It comes from an EO NCO for my Brigade in Hawaii. "Challenge your perceptions or they'll challenge you". Sound advise, and one that I think Americans have failed to do for too long.
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