Thursday, August 9, 2007

F*** me SIDWAYS!

I asked for atime off. maybe one part of a rotation. What i did not expect is the HUGE deal it would become. For the record i am stressed. Not hyperstressed fearful for my life, well ok myabe a little, I am not depressed, and i am not a babbling idiot. But apparently i have raised eyebrows. If i am showing signs of an adverse stress reaction, guess what i am adversly stressed.

The low down. . . i got command refered to Mental health. I was perfectly fine taking 1SG down there and signing a release, and all that jazz, but really, i do not think I need to be seen, it's not like i'm drink screaming the ranger creed at 0300 (again). It's ok, it gives me time to catch up on some tings, like my room (ug) or the sleep i've been lacking, ahhh sweet sleep.

while i do not think it's quite fair, i will of course comply. It always makes me wonder though. When i feel normal people see things in me i REALLY don't see in myself. If i try to say "i love you" in a creative way, people are like "wow that was amazing" and not always the target of my affections, though sometimes, they say that too. If i feel fine, people think I'm depressed or pissed off. If my face is nuetral (that is i am not using ANY facial muscles) i'm somehow pissed off. I really don't get it.

I'd like to think that this is just going to be another, show up answer stupid questions, and walk away, but i somehow know this isn't going to be good. Oh AND i have to study for morphine. I'm not going to go into how stupid i think this is, that's a horse that is more like pulp now. But needless to say, while i am aprehensive about my platoon going out without me, I do look forward to a break. which i'm not ungreatful for.

Soon i'll write about the day Harrelson dies, but, my last post really drained me emotionally. I don't think i could write another one too soon. well take care.

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