Saturday, March 21, 2009
Memories
This was during my first tour to Iraq in 2004. The F-16's had pulled out that day, and a mortar round started a grass fire that set off the whole AHA. misses, captured ammo, 500 LB, 1000 LB and even one 2000 lb bomb. Katie Mac will attest to the fact that it was scary as shit! So when you ask if I've seen any big booms you know that yes indeed I have.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
DAMN THAT WAS QUICK!
So we're officially on "block leave" and it has not been good so far for 2-16. Within the first thirty-six hours there were fights with a Cop, DUIs, and a near fatal accident while running drom the Cops! Of course the BC wasn't happy with that. Not at all. The funny thing is that the only company that didn't have an incident was Delta! Wow, that is deffinatly a first.
So Tuesday started with a bang. Aparently there was a while lot of organizing of MES chests that needed to be done. I know it has to be done from time to time, but christ alighty it seems like every other day we have to do these things. Muy Muy Mal. What really stung was that I found out that after the eval I did on friday, they had already decided on TUESDAY, to go ahead and push the 5-17. The most amazing thing of all is that they were talking weeks not the usual 2-3 months. That completly threw me for a loop. There is no way that I think I'll be ready for that kind of major transition in the timeline provided.
As if to proove the point, my chaper physical was the next day. Thats unheard of. In all my time in the Army, and dealing with chapters, I've never heard of the initial steps of a chapter foing through that quick. It is really making my head spin. Baisically over this 4 day I have to start cleaning all my TA-50 (not too hard as I've only really used it all once) and really start to plan out my transition. How am I going to make Car payments, How am I going to get home, how am I going to get to WVU, how am I going to pay for that, and far more important than that, what am I going to do after that?
I know neither how to respond to this, nor how I should prepare for this. There is something that feels just plain wrong about this, and yet for all the fear this sudden change induces I have to wonder if it is not, indeed, for the best. What have I really gained by comming back. Is my life really better for trying to continue to be a soldier. Perhaps my honesty is my own Acheles heel. Could I do another deployment and not return so absolutly Mind f***ed that I could carry on *some* kind of life? It is terrifying in a way and yet part of me is so used to being the viscious wolf. The hunter of men, ready to kill.
How can I walk away, and how can I find peace after this?
So Tuesday started with a bang. Aparently there was a while lot of organizing of MES chests that needed to be done. I know it has to be done from time to time, but christ alighty it seems like every other day we have to do these things. Muy Muy Mal. What really stung was that I found out that after the eval I did on friday, they had already decided on TUESDAY, to go ahead and push the 5-17. The most amazing thing of all is that they were talking weeks not the usual 2-3 months. That completly threw me for a loop. There is no way that I think I'll be ready for that kind of major transition in the timeline provided.
As if to proove the point, my chaper physical was the next day. Thats unheard of. In all my time in the Army, and dealing with chapters, I've never heard of the initial steps of a chapter foing through that quick. It is really making my head spin. Baisically over this 4 day I have to start cleaning all my TA-50 (not too hard as I've only really used it all once) and really start to plan out my transition. How am I going to make Car payments, How am I going to get home, how am I going to get to WVU, how am I going to pay for that, and far more important than that, what am I going to do after that?
I know neither how to respond to this, nor how I should prepare for this. There is something that feels just plain wrong about this, and yet for all the fear this sudden change induces I have to wonder if it is not, indeed, for the best. What have I really gained by comming back. Is my life really better for trying to continue to be a soldier. Perhaps my honesty is my own Acheles heel. Could I do another deployment and not return so absolutly Mind f***ed that I could carry on *some* kind of life? It is terrifying in a way and yet part of me is so used to being the viscious wolf. The hunter of men, ready to kill.
How can I walk away, and how can I find peace after this?
Saturday, March 14, 2009
The S**T has hit the fan!
I don't know if I talked about it here ( I know I talked about it in my paper journal) but Ambien can make me do some Bat-shit crazy stuff. Officially called sleep walking, or sleep talking, your cognitive centers of your brain check out, and you become. . . well fruitier than a nut cake. I've called people, eaten food, and even had sex (one time) and had no memory of it the next day.
So last Sunday night I was trying very hard to sleep. I had about three or four Ambien left (couldn't for the life of me remember how much) so I thought now would be a good time to take some. Right? baaaddd idea. I not only went koo koo, I *might* have taken more and I ended up in Robinette's room. Bad juju. Well I did what I thought was right and explained the situation to the seinior medic at the course. Another mistake.
Somehow it got reported as a drug overdose, instead of a reaction, or a common side affect. Someone, and I have no idea who, said I took alcohol with it. Someone, and I don't know who, got the bright Idea in their heads that I was suicidal. and thus the pain began. Lots of pain.
First I got an escort to take me to the hospital, and well that was a fat load of fun there. Four hours and in the end they didn't listen to a thing I said. I tried to tell them over and over again that this was a reaction to the Ambien, and I honestly had no idea WHAT happened Sunday night. The whole process had me more and more worked up because no one would listen to me!
I think the worst part of all that was, when it was over in the Hospital, it was out to the field, of a suicide watch. I mean REALLY? It was like Basic or AIT all over, but it was something that I tried to tell people over and over was a common side affect! Well I tried to sleep, but *amazingly* I wasn't able to sleep at all. Worse it was humiliating. I eventually got to sleep. Chemobo helped me out some, but in the morning it was, get out of here, we don't want this dirty little secret out in the open.
I took the hour long ride back to post, and Sgt Morrano took me to CMH. Of course they told me to wait. I went, and they told me I was RTD (they always say that) but that I was definatly showing signs of depression/burn out. He was the second person to tell me that. I go back to class, and the very next morning I go to the head shrinkers again, so that I can have the pleasure of some sort of sleap med. Ambien is out, and some of the ones that doc talked about. . . well she's the first one that really told me what the side affects were. Horrifying what type of things these pills will do to your body. Addiction, weight gain, sleep walking, Lucid states, fatuge headaches, my god just listening to the side affects made me want to just shut up and deal with the insomnia.
That afternoon as I was about to take a shower (stripped down to my boxers) i got a knock at the door. I had to go to the company, and get read the "official" mental health thing. I had no idea there was any talk of chapter in there, just if you want to go to JAG or IG, etc. I didn't think that there would be a problem so I made my concerns known, and let it be. I'm a complete Re-Re
After that I went to picking up the Lunesta (one whole milligram stronger then the last ones I took), I got a phone call from Sgt Morrano that I had to beet feet up to Bn. I wasn't going to jump out of line at the pharmacy. Even when the place was a ghost town it still took me over 45 mins to get my meds (Imagin if the freaking place had been packed!). I found out through Facebook (of all places) that it was the meeting to tell everyone that had an ETS date that was anywhere near now, essentially "you're screwed". Stop Loss is in affect until Dec 2010. Which means I will miss two years of college. That little gem is real motivating.
And then, there was this morning I went to see the doc I first started seeing when I first came back. It was supposed to be a competency eval, but I did not know that the commander wanted to do a 517. A chapter for mental health reasons. My GOD. I'm horrified at the very thought. If I'm going to leave I want to walk away on my own time, and not be chucked out like some lepor. After 6 years 2 months, this is what it comes to?
If I take the chapter, then I'm a shitbag that took the easy way out. I'm abandoning my friends, or at least people that *might* count on me. That is if they ever let me do my job. If I fight it, I'm hit with stop loss and I lose 13 more months of my life, that I'd bargened for, and have to be tail end charlie in the sandbox. I hope anyone that reads this can see my delema. I'm screwed either way, and I have no idea how I will deal with either situation. Either way it feels like a final crushing defeat. I'm almost tempted to look away hand my packet to someone above me, and resign myself to whicheve ghoulish fate is before me.
I think the Psych chapter is punitive and is the command smacking my pee pee for asking for help, and worse for being a different type of person. I think the Stop Loss, is a reall shitty thing to do to short timers, especially if their ETS is right at the beginning, or even before the deployment. It feels like the Army in all its collective wisdom, or maybe more specifically 2-16, likes kicking Joes when they're down. I know one thing for sure, there's no WAY I'm getting another damned counciling for my motivation. Pretty much everybody is operating on Zilch.
So last Sunday night I was trying very hard to sleep. I had about three or four Ambien left (couldn't for the life of me remember how much) so I thought now would be a good time to take some. Right? baaaddd idea. I not only went koo koo, I *might* have taken more and I ended up in Robinette's room. Bad juju. Well I did what I thought was right and explained the situation to the seinior medic at the course. Another mistake.
Somehow it got reported as a drug overdose, instead of a reaction, or a common side affect. Someone, and I have no idea who, said I took alcohol with it. Someone, and I don't know who, got the bright Idea in their heads that I was suicidal. and thus the pain began. Lots of pain.
First I got an escort to take me to the hospital, and well that was a fat load of fun there. Four hours and in the end they didn't listen to a thing I said. I tried to tell them over and over again that this was a reaction to the Ambien, and I honestly had no idea WHAT happened Sunday night. The whole process had me more and more worked up because no one would listen to me!
I think the worst part of all that was, when it was over in the Hospital, it was out to the field, of a suicide watch. I mean REALLY? It was like Basic or AIT all over, but it was something that I tried to tell people over and over was a common side affect! Well I tried to sleep, but *amazingly* I wasn't able to sleep at all. Worse it was humiliating. I eventually got to sleep. Chemobo helped me out some, but in the morning it was, get out of here, we don't want this dirty little secret out in the open.
I took the hour long ride back to post, and Sgt Morrano took me to CMH. Of course they told me to wait. I went, and they told me I was RTD (they always say that) but that I was definatly showing signs of depression/burn out. He was the second person to tell me that. I go back to class, and the very next morning I go to the head shrinkers again, so that I can have the pleasure of some sort of sleap med. Ambien is out, and some of the ones that doc talked about. . . well she's the first one that really told me what the side affects were. Horrifying what type of things these pills will do to your body. Addiction, weight gain, sleep walking, Lucid states, fatuge headaches, my god just listening to the side affects made me want to just shut up and deal with the insomnia.
That afternoon as I was about to take a shower (stripped down to my boxers) i got a knock at the door. I had to go to the company, and get read the "official" mental health thing. I had no idea there was any talk of chapter in there, just if you want to go to JAG or IG, etc. I didn't think that there would be a problem so I made my concerns known, and let it be. I'm a complete Re-Re
After that I went to picking up the Lunesta (one whole milligram stronger then the last ones I took), I got a phone call from Sgt Morrano that I had to beet feet up to Bn. I wasn't going to jump out of line at the pharmacy. Even when the place was a ghost town it still took me over 45 mins to get my meds (Imagin if the freaking place had been packed!). I found out through Facebook (of all places) that it was the meeting to tell everyone that had an ETS date that was anywhere near now, essentially "you're screwed". Stop Loss is in affect until Dec 2010. Which means I will miss two years of college. That little gem is real motivating.
And then, there was this morning I went to see the doc I first started seeing when I first came back. It was supposed to be a competency eval, but I did not know that the commander wanted to do a 517. A chapter for mental health reasons. My GOD. I'm horrified at the very thought. If I'm going to leave I want to walk away on my own time, and not be chucked out like some lepor. After 6 years 2 months, this is what it comes to?
If I take the chapter, then I'm a shitbag that took the easy way out. I'm abandoning my friends, or at least people that *might* count on me. That is if they ever let me do my job. If I fight it, I'm hit with stop loss and I lose 13 more months of my life, that I'd bargened for, and have to be tail end charlie in the sandbox. I hope anyone that reads this can see my delema. I'm screwed either way, and I have no idea how I will deal with either situation. Either way it feels like a final crushing defeat. I'm almost tempted to look away hand my packet to someone above me, and resign myself to whicheve ghoulish fate is before me.
I think the Psych chapter is punitive and is the command smacking my pee pee for asking for help, and worse for being a different type of person. I think the Stop Loss, is a reall shitty thing to do to short timers, especially if their ETS is right at the beginning, or even before the deployment. It feels like the Army in all its collective wisdom, or maybe more specifically 2-16, likes kicking Joes when they're down. I know one thing for sure, there's no WAY I'm getting another damned counciling for my motivation. Pretty much everybody is operating on Zilch.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
"Shirtless Slack Jawed Fagitry"
Going to the feild isn't really a bad thing. In some cases it can actually be kind of fun. Those cases, tend not to happen if there is any *real* supervision by the command group. Lets face it when you've got majors, and colonols and seargent majors breathing down your neck about how you train, you tend not to have fun when you're training. You also tend to do things in a way that is far more difficult than needs be.
Having said that, the absolute worst thing you can do is go to the field simply to say that, yes, you have indeed gone to the field. Such was the case with our last WONDERFUL FTX. I'm not going to bore you with details, of what we did, and even if I tried to, well I'd be bored to tears. I again fell into the role of the unmotivated come along, not allowed to touch treat or otherwise look at a patient, which, of course was the whole reason for being there in the first place. I litteraly sat in a tent for five days and did . . . NOTHING. . . Worse than that, I actually asked, begged to do some kind of training. Let me clear a house sit on a gun, SOMETHING.
Alas, it was not to be. At the end of it all I felt like a complete fool, having done a better job training to do my job IN IRAQ than I did in this bs FTX. I can not honestly decide what agrivates me more. The fact that I'm not being given my fair shakes, or the fact that I'm being compared to the battalion idiot that just happens to be my god damned room mate!
As for that incompotent POS, well he left his weapon in the latrine, which eventually ended up in the S-3 SGM's hands. I'd have felt sorry for the poor bastard if he didn't have it comming. he had to dummy cord EVERYTHING! I mean it. His flag, nametape, eyepro (eventually) gloves, weapon, K-pot, all his ammo pouches. I mean EVERYTHING! It was actually kind of comicle, but really it was sad.
In the end, the sole highlight of the week was going to the range on friday. Even though it was 0 degrees outside. I almost froze off my fingers. Oh well. In the end there was absolutly nothing in this whole week that would have let me feel in anyway that I acomplished more than re-reading a Dune book.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Snazzy new PX
ok so I gotta say, the new Ft Riley PX which has been under construction forever and a day is pretty sanzzy! After exploring it for five seconds I thought to myself (rather stupidly) "I may never leave post again". Now I've never understood how Ft Sam, a small post, (but still home to MEDCOM) managed to warrent such a large PX and places like Riley and Schofield had such tiny ones! Still the new PX is a step in the right direction. The direction of not making Fort Riley suck so much.
I mean a game stop that looks like it has more stuff than the MALL! and patriot outfitters (an overpriced but still very good gear store) is right there with a fair sized shop. I'm seeing things in this little mini mall ad pretty decent prices that outside would cost about 10%-15% more. now if its just a dollar that's not but it adds up after a while. Bestr of all everytrhing has that new smell to it. I mean really when things are brand spanking new they smell AWSOME from leather to clothes to a whole damned store!
Unfortunatly you can't change the simple fact that YOUR IN KANSAS!!! I mean if you're into ag, more power to you but the young and the bold don't really like this rustic lifestyle, and most of the people that live here can't wait to get out to a faster pace of life. I mean it might have been fine in the fronteer days, but those days are long over, and any road trip on the back roads of Kansas will show you old broken down homs that look like they haven't seen maintnence since the Great Depression.
Lets face it. Ft. Riley, the Big Red One, whatever you want to look at it, no one wants to be here. However, modernizing the post, and making sure that people have at least *some* of the amenities of that faster pace of life is a step in the right direction. Now if the Army would actually make sense we'd all be a lot happier.
I mean a game stop that looks like it has more stuff than the MALL! and patriot outfitters (an overpriced but still very good gear store) is right there with a fair sized shop. I'm seeing things in this little mini mall ad pretty decent prices that outside would cost about 10%-15% more. now if its just a dollar that's not but it adds up after a while. Bestr of all everytrhing has that new smell to it. I mean really when things are brand spanking new they smell AWSOME from leather to clothes to a whole damned store!
Unfortunatly you can't change the simple fact that YOUR IN KANSAS!!! I mean if you're into ag, more power to you but the young and the bold don't really like this rustic lifestyle, and most of the people that live here can't wait to get out to a faster pace of life. I mean it might have been fine in the fronteer days, but those days are long over, and any road trip on the back roads of Kansas will show you old broken down homs that look like they haven't seen maintnence since the Great Depression.
Lets face it. Ft. Riley, the Big Red One, whatever you want to look at it, no one wants to be here. However, modernizing the post, and making sure that people have at least *some* of the amenities of that faster pace of life is a step in the right direction. Now if the Army would actually make sense we'd all be a lot happier.
Friday, February 20, 2009
This will end in tears
Ok so I saw Doc Shomaker, and he's the first one to say it, I'm burned out. I suppose when its staring you in the face its kind of hard to deny. He does have a point in that I keep replaying things like a bad looping tape, but lets face it, if you were totally lacking purpose in your life, would you be doing much better?
Well today (friday) is a day off. We (FINALLY) get the three day weekend we were promised for AUSA subscription. $20 for a day away from the med platoon. . . TOTALLY worth it! I mean the last two weeks have been a nearly constant peepee smacking, and when that's not happening I'm sitting on my ass. SSG Tyra said it best, its hard to take pride in something when there's a lot of sitting involved.
Even though the Bn was on red cycle, we were still doing crazy training feild problems, and i guess i can understand why. We go to NTC soon and deploy soon after that, but the Med platoon can barely keep up and, really no offense or anything but Cpt Brock ain't exactly helping matters with the near constant panic mode. Lt Carmen is ok, but, well like most Lt's there are days when you have fantisies of violence that you can't really make happen.
So while the rest of Evac is neck deep in stuff sans Foxworthy, I am sitting on my ass not only feeling useless, but worse pointless. I don't honestly know what is worse. I am trying, but the hope and the giddyness I felt at comming back has fadded and I find myself close yet really far from my goal... being back on the line. It is beyond frusteration and the fact that I am just a wall fixture to my PA don't exactly help matters.
Now, there is an ill defined feild problem, which no one really has any idea what exactly we are doing. Worse than that, we are going for a week, and it seems no one else is going to be doing anything. Since I am not able to drive, and since I am not able to treat patients I am forced to conclude that I will be sitting on my ass in the feild for a week, and praying a stray bullet somewhere takes me out to end my misery. What am I talink about, I'm praying for that now.
I do not think this will end well for the Med platoon, and frankly I think it will end in tear for someone. Not exactly the tiumphant return I had hoped for. God I hate my life.
Well today (friday) is a day off. We (FINALLY) get the three day weekend we were promised for AUSA subscription. $20 for a day away from the med platoon. . . TOTALLY worth it! I mean the last two weeks have been a nearly constant peepee smacking, and when that's not happening I'm sitting on my ass. SSG Tyra said it best, its hard to take pride in something when there's a lot of sitting involved.
Even though the Bn was on red cycle, we were still doing crazy training feild problems, and i guess i can understand why. We go to NTC soon and deploy soon after that, but the Med platoon can barely keep up and, really no offense or anything but Cpt Brock ain't exactly helping matters with the near constant panic mode. Lt Carmen is ok, but, well like most Lt's there are days when you have fantisies of violence that you can't really make happen.
So while the rest of Evac is neck deep in stuff sans Foxworthy, I am sitting on my ass not only feeling useless, but worse pointless. I don't honestly know what is worse. I am trying, but the hope and the giddyness I felt at comming back has fadded and I find myself close yet really far from my goal... being back on the line. It is beyond frusteration and the fact that I am just a wall fixture to my PA don't exactly help matters.
Now, there is an ill defined feild problem, which no one really has any idea what exactly we are doing. Worse than that, we are going for a week, and it seems no one else is going to be doing anything. Since I am not able to drive, and since I am not able to treat patients I am forced to conclude that I will be sitting on my ass in the feild for a week, and praying a stray bullet somewhere takes me out to end my misery. What am I talink about, I'm praying for that now.
I do not think this will end well for the Med platoon, and frankly I think it will end in tear for someone. Not exactly the tiumphant return I had hoped for. God I hate my life.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Getting away *finally*
Ok so presidents day is a 4 day weekend for soldiers. Its a good thing too, if they didn't have four days, I'm sure that soldiers would kill eachother long before we ever got in contact with the enemy. I asked my mom to come out on the 29th of January, and this past weekend she came out and we spent time in Kansas City. In truth I asked her out here on possibly the worst day in the unit so far. I was literally to the point of tears. I just needed someone to get my mind off things. All I can say is thank God she came. I was about to go absolutly batty.
She came on friday evening and left monday. We spent the whole time in the greater Kansas City area, right next to the Kansas speedway with that huge mall and the Cabellas. friday night was mostly just getting settled, and figguring out what we were going to do. we settled on going to see two plays, which were the cultured thing to do and something I wouldn't normally do.
The first one was at the "heartland theater" and it was called "Murder by the Book" it was a comedy about an author, and his wife who were trying to off eachother, and a secratary and a nabor that got caught in the middle. The publisher also had a part to play, but in all it was a horribly complicated "who done what to whom" and it was pretty funny. I actually enjoyed it. It also helped that they served booze which you could take into the theater. I don't think I'll ever get over the novelty of that.
The next day was definatly. . . different. We went to see Arabian Nights. Lets face it anyone that knows me and has actually read this blog knows that was probably a really bad idea. But I went anyway. It was not long before i was figiting and generally having a hard time. More than once I wanted to bolt for the exit, whcich isnt's too good because it was actually a good play. . . sort of. By the intermission I was having real trouble, and I just had to get out. Mom understood sort of but I could tell it really broke her heart. This was a hurt that no one, mother, friend or otherwise will ever be able to fix. she suggested we leave but i insisted we stay. the end they said as one "and the nights of Baghdad became brighter than the day" and they retracted the lights, and there was the sound of sirens. . .that really got to me. what am I supposed to say about that. . .
well skip foward to monday. Thankfully it was going to be a short day. We saw some sights, and got totally lost. Kansas City is not well marked out. Its one of those cities where you really need to know where you are and where you are going or you're going to get totally lost. the Union Station there is really interesting. Amazing archatecture, and the liberty thing right across the street is also something to see. It comemorates the end of WWI and is really an artistic masterpeice. I think we've lost something important, because you just don't see monuments designed that way anymore. After it was all said and done, I took her to the airport and drove home to get ready for the next week of FUN. The valuse of the weekend wasn't in the sights or sounds, it was in the concept that for just a little while, I was able to pretend I was a normal person.
She came on friday evening and left monday. We spent the whole time in the greater Kansas City area, right next to the Kansas speedway with that huge mall and the Cabellas. friday night was mostly just getting settled, and figguring out what we were going to do. we settled on going to see two plays, which were the cultured thing to do and something I wouldn't normally do.
The first one was at the "heartland theater" and it was called "Murder by the Book" it was a comedy about an author, and his wife who were trying to off eachother, and a secratary and a nabor that got caught in the middle. The publisher also had a part to play, but in all it was a horribly complicated "who done what to whom" and it was pretty funny. I actually enjoyed it. It also helped that they served booze which you could take into the theater. I don't think I'll ever get over the novelty of that.
The next day was definatly. . . different. We went to see Arabian Nights. Lets face it anyone that knows me and has actually read this blog knows that was probably a really bad idea. But I went anyway. It was not long before i was figiting and generally having a hard time. More than once I wanted to bolt for the exit, whcich isnt's too good because it was actually a good play. . . sort of. By the intermission I was having real trouble, and I just had to get out. Mom understood sort of but I could tell it really broke her heart. This was a hurt that no one, mother, friend or otherwise will ever be able to fix. she suggested we leave but i insisted we stay. the end they said as one "and the nights of Baghdad became brighter than the day" and they retracted the lights, and there was the sound of sirens. . .that really got to me. what am I supposed to say about that. . .
well skip foward to monday. Thankfully it was going to be a short day. We saw some sights, and got totally lost. Kansas City is not well marked out. Its one of those cities where you really need to know where you are and where you are going or you're going to get totally lost. the Union Station there is really interesting. Amazing archatecture, and the liberty thing right across the street is also something to see. It comemorates the end of WWI and is really an artistic masterpeice. I think we've lost something important, because you just don't see monuments designed that way anymore. After it was all said and done, I took her to the airport and drove home to get ready for the next week of FUN. The valuse of the weekend wasn't in the sights or sounds, it was in the concept that for just a little while, I was able to pretend I was a normal person.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Some kind of hell
I know its kind of really been a while since I posted last. Since then I've had just about the worst month of my career. Not only am I sucking at PT I also got an Article 15 for ammo in my room. Aome how 15 rounds of 5.56 mm got me 14 days of extra duty, when a year ago I had 210 rounds AND a weapon. I know it's a violation of article whatever whatever, but really who cares? The thought that it really matters is forign to me.
So for 14 days I was busting my ass at work and in my free time. Thankfully I didn't lose any rank or pay. But what really gets my goat, is that I confidded in my squad leader SGT Sutton, and he took it to the Aid Station NCOIC SSG Tyra, and i got a stern talking to about my motivation. As if I alone were the only one lacking motivation. It really pisses me off. I've gotten counciling statements about lack of motivation, and quitting on pt, and yadda yadda.
Then there was the thing with the mortars, and the "cold" injuries, that somehow got my status as an active medic revoked by Captain Brock. The only reason I came back to 2-16 was to take care of soldiers and HE TOOK THAT AWAY FROM ME!!! Worst of all there was no face to face, no explination, a simple "you're not practicing medicine in this battalion until the doc says so." WTF does that mean!?!? I'm so angry about it. The man is a mennace!
Well my life has turned to shit in record time. So I had to ask for mom to cvome out and visit to take my mind offf things. So far just the fact of her visit was enough to make it a *little* better. God I hate the army right now. I really can't wait to get out.
So for 14 days I was busting my ass at work and in my free time. Thankfully I didn't lose any rank or pay. But what really gets my goat, is that I confidded in my squad leader SGT Sutton, and he took it to the Aid Station NCOIC SSG Tyra, and i got a stern talking to about my motivation. As if I alone were the only one lacking motivation. It really pisses me off. I've gotten counciling statements about lack of motivation, and quitting on pt, and yadda yadda.
Then there was the thing with the mortars, and the "cold" injuries, that somehow got my status as an active medic revoked by Captain Brock. The only reason I came back to 2-16 was to take care of soldiers and HE TOOK THAT AWAY FROM ME!!! Worst of all there was no face to face, no explination, a simple "you're not practicing medicine in this battalion until the doc says so." WTF does that mean!?!? I'm so angry about it. The man is a mennace!
Well my life has turned to shit in record time. So I had to ask for mom to cvome out and visit to take my mind offf things. So far just the fact of her visit was enough to make it a *little* better. God I hate the army right now. I really can't wait to get out.
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