Saturday, March 10, 2012

Much ado about nothing.

So I was given an "assignment" by some of the guys oat RU, and was told to pick someone that is being a douche in a major way.  I've actually chosen two, here's my first one:

When I went to High School in Fallbrook California my school was known as the "Warriors" and our mascot was an Injun warrior, in a head dress.  My mom went to university of Illinois.  The Illinoi, were their mascot, named for the tribe that Illinois is named after.  Even Chicago is an Indian (sorry Native-American for our friends of perpetual inflamed assholes) word for a type of weed that grew on the banks of Lake Michigan (this actually makes a lot of sense if you go to Chicago today).

Well now there's a grade A+ Ass Hat by the name of Che  Butler (you know its going to be good with a name like that), who appears to have Gonorrhea of the Anus, has petitioned for second time to the Oregon Board of Education to ban all Injun Mascots from High Schools.  He says its about respect.  I say otherwise.  The crazy part is that they're actually considering it.  Seriously.  Only on the Left coast would you get shit like this.  Always worried about offending people that are mostly dead, makes about as much sense as screaming about how you will get in a Car is going to crash so you never drive. 

This douchefuckery is part of a larger trend.  SDSU Aztecs almost got changed to something else because someone thought it was offensive to our Injun friends.  I don't know any actual Aztecs.  Do you?  The Illinoi used to have a "warrior" for a mascot that would come out and do a ceremonial war dance (in full regalia) at half time.  It was actually really cool.  Be honest.  Would you really get off your fat ass to go and see an actual Injun tribe do an actual war dance, or any other form of dance?  I doubt it. 

Indeed do you remember what tribes actually lived in your area?  Do you know their customs?  Do you really give a shit?  Chances are you don't.  While I'm sure Mr Butler is indeed all but hurt, and that his anus is very sore indeed from having to go to High School football games to be offended, lets face it, if he succeeded pretty much everyone in Oregon would probably forget that there even were any Injuns left.  Before I actually did some digging while in the Army, all I knew about Injuns is that they beat the shit out of 7th Cav, and that apparently Geronimo is what the hell your supposed to say when you jump out of a plane.  Aside from having casinos right there where Californians could go, really, I didn't know a damn thing about them.

People name their mascots for attributes they find appealing when in a contest, strength speed or courage.  When your really crappy football team gets the ever loving shit stomped out of it by the "vikings" or the "Panthers" or pretty much every team out there you can feel safe in the knowledge that at least you're not offending anyone.  Then again this is Oregon, whose college mascot is a damn duck (which aren't so much strong as easy pickings).  You don't see too many football teams out there with names like "Rose Petals" or The semi enlightened, really nice people who were here before us".  Seriously.  You don't name you're teams for something that makes it sound like you enjoy an ass pounding. 

So once and for all shut up about the damned mascots.  That's the only thing keeping most of the drooling idiots that actually go to high school anymore from giving two shits and a handshake about you.  You probably ought to go out there and remind them why the should embrace their mascot, and take pride in your heritage.  But then again that really wouldn't work because the bug up your ass is a buzzing and you need to complain about it.

1 comment:

Marquita said...

This is such an awesome post! I live in Oregon and you are so right about this state!
They have already changed the name of a creek by the name of Squaw. Apparently, Squaw is offensive. To whom, I'm not sure. I'm pretty sure the native Indians aren't losing sleep over it. In fact, it means "woman" or "wife" in Algonquian. It's like the stewardess demanding to be called a flight attendant. To this day, I cannot figure out what is offensive about "stewardess" which originates from "steward" : someone who waits on and is responsible for the comfort of passengers.