Hurry Up and Wait

It is an old saying. "Hurry Up and Wait" the seemingly countrary statement is one that, if you have not been in a military, might not make anny sense. In the civillian world, time is money, and wasted time it not acceptable. In the army, you are always ready to go, and you are always acting like everything has to be done NOW, with the minor exception of certain things (ie details designed to keep you "out of sight out of mind")

Sadly, even in a warzone, where quite often the chaos is pure "move your ass" there is still the same hurry up and wait. It is something that a poor soul like me with ADHD, finds taxing, frusteration, agravating, and always down right annoying. Although i have gotten good at finding something to do with nothing. . . but still, I HATE sitting arouns with my thumb up my ass.

Today was one such day. At one point it looked like a simple drop off detanees, grab chow, head back and do some other bullshit mission. but that was not the case. For some reason we stayed here. We waited, and waited, and perhaps most frusterating of all we had these assholes in our AO!!! I wouldn't have minded staying in Rusty all day, if we'd had a clear understanding of exactly what was going on, if we weren't locked down, and if we DIDN'T HAVE FUCKING MILITA IN OUR AO!!! Like i've said before, once you detain them they go from jonny jihad for life to super bitch in no time.

So finally it came down not rolling out tonight. No problem. Fuck the COP for a night. it'll still be there in the morning, and besides if someone has to do a little extra COP security, FUCK EM. We did a week of that shit WITH NO FUCKING A/C!!!

As one can tell I'm a little frusterated. It might be the fact that i am so far from lisa, or that it's a roller coaster ride (and 90% of it is me mind fucking myself) Or hey the grand parents circiling the drain. In their last few years of life, the decline is. . . rapid. Or maybe it's the fact that i'm doing this shit again when i should be at college. I've reached that "iritation" phase. everything is iritating and annoying, and often little things make me angry. In a few months i'll probably reach indifferent. but for right now. . . i hate this fucking place, the NP's and IA need to get their shit strait, and it's pissing me off to see grown men act like kids playing soldier.

I've had a lot of time to sit and think about things, and the more i think about them, the angrier i get. It is simply not enough to say "fuck this place" and drive on. When i get back i'll have four combat stripes. FOUR. that's two years of my life and if they extend me again i'll have as many as Audy Murphy. I tire of this. and yet, i had to come. I had to be here. In the end i am a Vet of the truest degree. I hate the places i go, yet i miss being there when i'm not there. weird world hugh.