Anyone that reads this crappy blog, and actually has read it through and through knows that when it comes to women I just plain suck. I mean there's always someone that's worse off than me, like the guy with Dumbo Ears, thick BCGs (Birth Control Glasses) and an Adams Apple that somehow seems bigger than his chicken neck. Well that poor bastard that was aforementioned usually ends up with the self proclaimed "cutie pie" that is in all actuality nothing of the sort. It is really annoying to see that even the most clueless asshole end up doing quite well.
So instead of trying to meet girls in bars or hoping and absolutely praying that blind dates don't in fact leaving me wishing I were blind deaf, dumb and in all likely hood dead, I have decided that the internet is probably my best option. Now I run into a problem in my own mind. Well lets face it even in this day in age saying you met a girl on the net just sounds lame. Thats kind of like a mail order bride. No matter how its bill it just sounds kookoo pants.
But I got into it on my first tour in Iraq. I mean what had I to lose. And I actually "met" some pretty cool chicks. Some were awsome, but well as things always go I fucked it up. Well that and the whole "I'll probably die tomorrow so what have I got to lose" attitude, would be followed rapidly by "Oh shit did I (or she) actually say that?" Its been a persistant pattern. I am somehow this wonderful guy, while a chick is getting to know me. Hell even after the inevitable break-up wich always promises to be messy and nasty, I'm still a great guy. Great for advise and all the rest of the stuff that being"dependable" lands you. Did I mention I *hate* being dependable?
So After a myriad of interesting but ultimately one hit wonder sites (I met Lisa on Hot or Not, and Date.com for a few others) Katie (Our favorite Lab Tech, republican veteran chirstan) absolutly swore by eHarmony. Well I figgure she goes on about "Scottiepoo" in neasuating detail (sorry Katie but your googly-eyed talk is strait from Cosmo, which is enough to make any man feel inadequate)
Most of the times Its swing and a miss. Like this one girl Beth, pretty cool, in the coast Guard and in topika, not sure how that worked, but hey its all good. Well I really didn't mind the whole kid thing either, which is either a sign of maturity or desperation. Anyway long story short. There were no "sparks". Great to talk to interesting passing stories but that was about it. I kinda felt it was too bad.
For the most part I'm getting hit up by women that read way too much into the uniform, So Its kind of refressing that I can have mock arguments with Jessica. Its pretty funny, she's super into cheese. I guess its a Wisconsin thing. Well me being me, I provoked an argument over who has better cheese, California or Wisconsin. Well everybody know happy cows make better cheese. and frozen cows, well they aren't that great with the cheese making. Its nice to have those mock fights that aren't taken seriously. Its also kinda nice that I can talk about the war, and even though she tip toes a little on the subject she's honest and upfront about it.
Looking back, I tried too hard with Erika. Even though part of her probably wanted me to be the one the fact that I had so many issues drove her away, and the harder I tried (incidentally making me more frustrated) the worse it got. It's kinda like watching brand new Helo pilots at Ft Rucker. they always over compensate in the hover making them ge back and forth in a generalized U shape till the instructors correct it, and bring it back to a hover. Good news is that this, whatever it is is still kinda new. Haven't really broached anything too out there yet. Hopefully the drugs do their job and I'm not super crazy.
I'd like to point out three things:
1) It's Scottypootiepoo.
2) We're not nauseating. My 5-year-old cousin calls him that, not me.
3) I went on so many blind dates before him that they should've given me a free dog.
That said, if I were in the market again, I would definitely use eHarmony. It's the safest and most selective, which means the people you meet on there are (for the most part) seriously looking.
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