Gary showed up at 1130. Guy was drunk as shit and distraut. He wouldn't tell me exactly what was wrong I found it slightly disturbing to have to deal with him. He wanted Kidwell to "finnish what we started in Iraq". That being getting into a fight that would end in homicide. baisically Gary wants out but he wants a lot of pain along the way.
What annoyed me most is that he actually swung at me while i was eating watermelon. Serously WHO DOES THAT?!?worse he went on to tell me things like "i saw three guys die at the CSH in front of me, you need to get over it." For a moment just a moment he crossed a very very dangerous line with me. I've gone beserk only three times in my life, but when that happens, well I really don't stop.
That's besides the point though. The real problem with Gary is that he wants attention, but he doesn't know how to ask for it. His relationship with Tracy was tourtured to say the least. Truth is I know they were incompatible from the beginning. Though he likes to play the strong man, the guy that doesn't need any help. An island untouchable by everything. The truth, however is far more complicated. He turns to his anger, and hides behind his talk. Do I think he could fight? Of course, but I also think that he does it for attention. In a strange way he actually feeds off the pain.
now what bothers me the most about this incident is I'm not sure entirely that Gary came here for the guy next door or if he came here for me. To be sure, there are a lot of things that he could have done to feel better, but his answer is usually to get so drunk he can barely walk. I on the other hand have not had a drink since i got back from leave. Not one drink. Of course He and Berta didn't believe me.
Anyway a long story short, his threatened violence never came, the MPs however did come, and he went without a fight, after explaining in long and rambling detail what all was going on. I had warned the MPs that there might be violence because he had been drinking, but for some reason there was neither violence or even a half hearted struggle. I think, in his own way Gary wanted this to happen. To be sure in his mind its probably for justification. "see Tracy, this is what you did to me" kind of thing. It's funny but after all the crap he's been through, he still wants to be with the woman that has done hime so much harm, that has torn him up inside.
Maybe that's why I can't turn him away. In the end, I feel some small empathy for him. In my own way i was where he was. I'm getting better now, but the scars are still there. I don't think he ever really thought he'd live long enough or meet a woman he'd actually want to spend time with. It's a shame that the one woman he wanted to get serious with (his non serious relationships are such that frivilous would be putting it lightly) would be a woman that has major imaturity issues of her own. I can not hate Gary, for all his swagger and disdain. I can't even hate him when he attacks me, because i see, had things been different, I would have become very much like him.
I was hoping you'd notice that, Mikey.
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