Monday, June 9, 2008

The Dyslexic Gamer, and the Last Man on Earth

If you don't know I'm Lysdexic. Dyslexic to all you non challanged people out there. For the most part it's not bad enough that I have too much of a problem with it. Sometimes in medicine I get things mixed up (Lord almighty try explaining to a Doctor that you got your right/left vs. your patient's right/left mixed up b/c your dyslexic.) Sometimes this can actually be a semi good thing. I suppose somehow it's made me creative. so that's definatly a plus, but in some areas it makes me dumb as rocks (*cough* relationships *cough*)

There is one area that I am steadfastly at a disadvantage. Gaming. I swear if one for 8 year old beats me at my own games I'm going to blow a gasket. For one when the thing says X I tend yo push square, or triangle, and don't even get me started on the tilt crap. Whoever thought that they needed to make the game so dependant on mofing your PS3 controller around in weird ways really needs to be taken outback and shot. This afternoon I spent 3 FREAKING hours trying to kill this boss which should have only taken ten to fifteen mins.

I can not even begin to describe ho bad I wanted to scream everytime the dam thing said turn it right and i went left, forward and i went back. I realize now why I could never get to Shang Sung in the original Mortal Kombat. Hell unless I had $20 in quarters I couldn't even get to the guy with 4 arms. Playing two player? FORGET IT! It was a blood bath, almost litterally. My happy ass would always end up in the spikes or have my head ripped off or some other cheerful thought. serously they need to make a game for dyslexic people, that doesn't make them feel like retards everytime they try to do a simple combo.

Too bad there aren't more Super Marrio games out there. Aside from Lego Star Wars, all the games I play require some actual skill at playing them. I can't even remeber what it was like on my Xbox 360 (thank you army for frying the only power cord I had, I really appriciated how you almost started a fire with that electrical surge). I got 8 Xbox games I can't even play because Microsoft in all their infanate wisdom has decided not to sell AV cords and new power cables at all the major retailers. Bravo Foxtrots!

Ok so moving on from that tirade. Yesterday (Saturday) I went out to Borders, and saw this graphic novel called "the Last Man on Earth" essentially for some strange reason all male mammals suddenly die off. Pretty much 48% of the world dies in seconds except for this one guy, and his monkey (think like the outbreak money). Now right off there are some oddities. First off the sudden collaps of society. I'm not sure it would have been that rapid, or that extreme. Secondly although I only have the first volume I'm pretty sure this is one of those magic things. Already the biblical, Bio-terror, and random act of nature are rulled out.

There are groups like the "amazons" which are baisically the butchest psycho women to haunt the post apocalypse. You'd think that their first priority would be repopulation, but. . . no actually they want to hunt down and kill the last man. they see it as all men were bad, and now there are no more murders rapests and theives. They cut on their left breast, and in a twist the protagonist's sister is a member of this group. Right off the bat they Murder and steal so, you can see their logic is all twisted.

Then there's the protagonist's mother. A representive, and a Democrat it appears, that is against abortion! There's a fight with a male senator about supporting Mexican abortion (don't ask me) right before the big vomiting blood/Indiana jones skull melting. After its over the government is pretty much crippled, the scratary of agraculture becomes president and there's a shoot out of all things on the whitehouse lawn with the republicans! Of course the Republicans feel they've been left out because of the freeze on government, which is predominatly Democrat (all women see) and of course the Republican suggest that the constitution doesn't apply. Political posturing at it's worst.

Despite the fact that there are a few glaring problems (a monkey named Ampersand the sister named Hero i shit you not, and Yoric the main charictor) But I've always wondered about these "last man on Earth" type stories. I remember on the Sci-fi channal there was one move that was really thought provocing. They spent the whole movie chasing after this one guy, claiming he's dangerous and destructive, in the end the women infect him with the Y-cromosome virus and force him to undergo a slow agonizing painful death, while the woman that created him (and yes fell in love with him) is forced to watch.

It is often said that if there were no men, there would be no violance. I think if anything the violance would be, well I supose more vicsious. Guys may fight eachother (and with a few exceptions) once it's clear who the winner is the fight stops, no hard feelings, and everybody goes on. Women, well, women are not that easily pulled away from the fight. Having seen street fights of both sexes I can tell you that by far the female on female is the most viscious. Of course Males, pound for pound can deal more damage, and take more, they tend to stick to the "rules". There is no such restraint in women. Not even a hint of it.

What troubles me most about a story like this is that it is not that far fetched. Magic asside, it is entirely possible to create a virus specific to the Y chromosome. If that were to happen, and worldwide men were to suddenly drop dead, could mankind (no pun intended) go on? I'm sure in a few years Cloning would be to the point that you could have female/female reproduction, but What would that world look like? would anyone really want to live there? And what would happen if a man were suddenly to appear. Interesting if theoretical questions.


M said...

" Having seen street fights of both sexes I can tell you that by far the female on female is the most viscious. There is no such restraint in women. Not even a hint of it."

Oh. It is. SOOOO true.
The thing with women is that there is ALWAYS emotions involved. Always!! That is the answer to all your questions about women.

Anonymous said...

hello, im a reader and i've been reading your blog since last month haha :D

uhm i was wondering if i could reach you, like maybe through messenger or yahoo. cause you see, im writting a novel (haha just for the sake of fulfilling a dream) and i need to interview a medic (since that my main character is a medic).

please reply! thank you very much. i'll come back soon, take care.. :D